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IRAN
by Fdemetrio - 04/15/26 12:27 PM
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PETE
by Fdemetrio - 04/14/26 06:57 AM
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275 |
HiDee Gals!
Only Sug that comes to mind, Latest Version:
I'd replace "breath you" with "reach you".
Whispering is an EXhalation, Breathing is an INhalation. They kinda conflict here.
K-O-S & Good Luck with a Good Lyric, LadyChums~
Big Good-Luck Hugs,
Mr Take-a-Deep-Breath Hisself,
Stan
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,124 Likes: 51
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,124 Likes: 51 |
Go ahead reach out
Let promise fill the air
Close your eyes, listen
It'll feel as if I'm there
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
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OP
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386 |
Hey Stanerooski... I'm so bummed about your comment on "breathe" -- if we end up changing it, like-minded Wyman will lord that over my head forever   ! So henceforth, the contents of this post are just between you, me and the lamppost, okay??   Still, when more than one person remarks about a particularly point, it certainly warrants further consideration on our part. We gals will put our heads together, and take another gander at that. In the meantime, though, just to clarify.... we weren't using "breathe" so much in the literal sense, but as more of a romantic sentiment. Her far-off lover is in essence the very air she breathes. Grammatically, it might not be precise....but in some ways, your comment about the exhalation vs. inhalation supports our intent. Her feelings about him are all-encompassing. Regardless, thank you for sneaking back to take another look at this one. Input from Ampersand Man is always appreciated! Did I mention I can't WAIT for the music!!?? Ciao for now, Jackie P.S. Hope your chin is feeling better...did you ever experience any actual LEAKING? 
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2
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Top 100 Poster
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Hi Brenda, Thank you so much for taking a moment to pop in and express such kind words! Appreciate that very much!  Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2 |
Hey Stan, Thanks for your further input…as Beth says we’re tossing that word and others up and down and all around….see where they land… Always appreciate your ideas…! Thanks for stopping back in. Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2 |
John, Good line sugg there. That’s one of the lines we’re pondering and ya know, all the choices look alike, but they’re all different! HA  It’s coming down to some hard choices, so every idea helps! Thanks for your continued help! Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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