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Hi All my favorite JPF Chums,


Being a survivor of child abuse & Rape & the rest to painful to tell you, back in 1997 to 1998, I lost full control of my life, everything I ever believed in was gone, and I ended up in a psychiatric unit, attempted suicide, and I was so unwell, I couldn't of even had a conversation with anyone.

Today, there is days that I go down, so far sometimes that I don't think I'm gonna make it, but thanks to my Cute hubby, who keeps pulling me out of it, I'm succeeding.

Over the next couple of months, is the hardest for me, as my body naturally remembers the trauma's in which happened years ago, they call it senses, post traumatic stress, so I have trouble sleeping, I get depressed, my body trembles, I get paranoid, irritable, cry a lot. What's also hard, just a simple word, smell, the seasons, can trigger these post traumatic symptoms. It Sucks! Today, I am having a good day.

With over ten years of counseling, support, from those who love and care about me, Mental Health, my Medical practitioners, my husband, family & friends, never turning there back on me, I am surviving.

Today, I am a bar & gaming attendant, and since getting myself back into the work force, it has helped me so much, as sitting at home, I was struggling. In the past I was a cook, and loved it, but I needed to get out, and I didn't want to be stuck in the kitchen all the time, so I went and done the courses I needed, and I got myself a job, in a country bowling club, and I worked there for 2 years, and I absolutely loved it. Now since moving, I got myself another job, and I have only been there a short time, and the Big boss was so impressed with my two page letter I typed up, offering different suggestions, of how to improve our work place, that he has just offered to train me for a new position, as an Assistant Manager, and that to me is Wow, unbelievable hah. I am so excited! What an Achievement!

My Goals, for the future, are to help other victims, raise money for Mental Health in Australia, sing, write songs, and write a book to inspire other victims to also make it.

So hey, that's my SUCCESS STORY!

Michele
Aussie friend

Wow! That is the most successful story I have ever heard. Good on you!

Congratulations Michele....

That is wonderful.... Taking the initiative to write the
letter on how to improve your work setting !!!...

You show courage...drive...and determination every day.....
Thanks for sharing...

Congratulations!!!!....
best......
Kaley....


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Michele I am so sorry these things happened to you. You are a beautiful person and have a beautiful soul. Remember these terrible things that happened were never your fault, are in the past now, and that you are loved by a great God. Focus on His love and all will be well!

As a medical professional myself, it's a big start being able to talk about it and get it out in the open, you are a wonderful person and have alot going for you, from here on all I see is uphill for you, congradulations and lots of luck and girl,just keep on climbing..................... glynda

Hi Jean

One day, when I write my book, you will be astonished at what I had to overcome. Thanks, you all here are so inspiring, so hey, not all the world is bad, and today I look at it, if I was a diabetic, I would need medicine every day, but I'm not, I was a victim, and I just need lots of love, reassurance, encouragement, hugs, etc everyday.

I am over the top, excited about my successes.

An Assistant Manager, Wow, cool, again thanks Jean.

your Aussie friend Michele

Hi Kaley

I become so frustrated in my workplace, I couldn't sit back and say nothing anymore. The Big Boss, he works for this company, that they will soon own 25 clubs "Venues", here in Australia soon, and three of them are in just my city where I live. The Boss sat with me, and discussed everything that I had suggested, and 90% of what I suggested, he has followed through with, and done very quickly, that I got shocked by it. He also said that in the years that he has been doing his job, doing up the clubs in which this company purchases, he has never seen someone with so much professionalism, and asked me if I would be interested in getting trained to be an Assistant Manager, I was overwhelmed. Cool, hah.

Now I am going to work on some procedures, to keep our workplace safe, as we have had quiet a few incidents now. One night there was a couple who had too much to drink, and where out on the back porch fighting, I walked out to see if I could help the security guard as he come in and asked us to ring the police, and told us he needed help, and this is what happened. When I was walking out with the security guard, we heard the loudest bang, and the bloke had through her onto the verandah, knocked her out, kicked her in the head, and went to kick her again, until I screamed, he then stopped and left. We had to get the police & an ambulance. You know whats really sad about that, she is still with him.

But I understand where she is, and I prey one day, she too will also see. I was never punched, or left any bruises, but ......... I won't go into it. They make you feel that it's your fault, your to blame, so yah stay with them. It's awful!

Anyway, thanks so much for all your support.

Michele
Aussie friend

Hi Lynn

I do prey sometimes, and I do believe there is someone out there looking after me, I don't know if it's God, but in my prayers I ask him to give me strength and help me to get through on my bad days.

For a long time, I have asked God WHY, did I have to go through all this pain.

A Clairvoyant said to me once, the reasons that I went through all that pain, was so that I could help & teach others, hmmmm, I got angry, and started to cry, and said to this Clairvoyant, that I have had enough, and I don't want to go through anymore, so I could help others, how unfair is that. Grrr!

Thanks

Your Aussie friend

Hi Glynda

I have a lot of respect for our Medical Profession, and I am so grateful for the help they gave me, that I get emotional thinking about it. There the best!

Our Legal system, well thats another story, I now don't respect, or have any trust in it at all. I prey that in the future, I hope my story can be used as a good example, to change it for other victims.

No matter how many times I fall down, I will keep getting back up, and I will keep climbing Glynda.

Thanks
Michele
Aussie friend

Congrats... and good luck!

amazing story of recovery Michele

you are doing it right and have a great support system with hubby and the rest of the team.......yes there are some bad folks in the world and they are right busy...i was a movie usher during high school and one night when i was 17,hitchhiking home from work at midnite cause the buses had stopped running-i was picked up by three guys in a car who took me to a construction site and beat me almost to death just for the fun of it......they were laughing as i went unconcious-i remember that.....they were later caught in another state after a multi state crime spree....all they got from me was 5 bucks and a cheap timex watch.....they did it just for the experience obviously.....but i have long since recovered.......the internet is so great in so many ways....but yes the front pages are pretty much all the depraved indifference to human life the reporters and editors can shovel in from all over the world.....and the good people feel we must be outnumbered by the bad........not so-theres still the same ratio and the bad people-although active till capture or death are still in their 5% minority........so we gotta keep that perspective.....you have a beautiful spirit anf i wish you many happy days to come......to whatever extent music and your friends here in JPF can keep you going we are most glad to do it....

Tom

Glad to hear you're doing so well Michele!

Brian

Hi Jim

Thanks so much, I am very proud of where I am today.


Hi Tom

I am happy to hear that you over come that terrible ordeal, and that you made it. That's really terrible, using violence on somebody else is cruel, and to be out voted, being 3 against one, is gutless hah. How about that, they laughed, and stole off you also, they are so cold.

In my work place, I have been witnessing a lot of violence just lately, and I surprised myself. Because of the unexperienced security guard, I actually jumped in between this big fellow who was ready to punch the security guard, and verbally I told this fellow what I thought, then the Police came from behind, and took this fellow out & through him into there wagon, and took him away. The next day the Police, they praised me to my boss, of how well I had handled the situation.

But you know what, I thought about it a few hours later, and Oh Gosh Golly Gee's, it's amazing what you do when your angry, cause this big fellow, could of flattened me in one punch. I had no fear what so ever, until after the fact.

Thanks Tom for sharing, and it's lovely to get to know you personally.

Your the best

Michele

Hi Brian

Thanks for all your help and support, JPF, is now one of my tools that I now have in my life, that keeps me going.

Michele

I don't remember who said it but there is a saying that I remember.
"It doesn't matter what happens to you in life.What matter's is how you deal with it".
I will give you and Tom an A+ for your courage and strength!

Hi Jerry

Thanks for your support, and that is a good saying. We have choices in life, once I got strong enough, my choice was to deal with it.

Hi again Brian

Thanks for posting up life stories, it will be great to get to know all my JPF chums personally, read there life stories.


Michele

Michele, we live in the devil's domain, he is the prince of the power of the air, as the bible says, but God is in control, but rarely does He interfere. He gave man the right to govern ourselves for a period of grace, that time is almost up, then God will take control and rule with a rod of iron. All the evil that the devil encourages to happen now will stop, peace will reign, justice will serve.

Hi Michele

Big BIG congrats and hugs to you from me ! ! You are a sweetie, and thanks for sharing your stories with us...

Hi Michele!

I've been a manager of some sort or another for many years now. I've learned that the job is not so hard, yet there are very few people who do it well. That's why your Big Boss hired you so quickly--he saw in your letter, in your ideas, and in your personality that you have what it takes to ensure things are done, and done well. Good for you! You pushed the RIGHT button!

No need to ever doubt yourself. Sometimes our feelings overwhelm us, especially if we've gone through such terrible times as you have. But in the end, it's our DECISIONS that guide us through our feelings. You decided to seek help, you decided to work on getting better, you decided to marry a good man who loves you, and you decided to write that letter. All these decisions help you through the rough patches. You'll always have sad days, but you'll also be able to face them, because you've decided to make good decisions.

So: good job at Life, Michele! Bravo.

-Mark

Good morning Everette

I do believe there is some one there, cause of what I experienced. Before I lost control, I woke with a fright one night, and a tall man was standing at the end of my bed, and when I looked at him he turned away. I was so frightened by it, I jumped out of bed and went through the whole house shaking really bad, thinking he was in my house. Also another night just before I lost control, he was there again, I was a little girl walking with him, holding his hand skipping along, but what was really scarey, I was looking back at myself laying there as an adult, dressed in white, with the biggest light around me, the wind was blowing, and I thought I was dead, and I thought I was nuts.

Today, I have a diary, that I kept, as my ex that hurt me really bad, he actually wrote about me in this diary. Pretty sick!

When I lost control, I had found this diary at some point, and I also wrote in this diary, retaliated my anger, wrote about what was happening, the hurt and the confusion, and what I was feeling & happening to me at that time. Reading this diary today, I was so unwell and out of control, I am so grateful I had the Medical help that I got. Also, in this diary I talk about that man standing over my bed etc.

Now, I believe, maybe, it was God, telling me, to let my child hood abuse rest in peace, and he will guide me through the huge pain, that I was about to go through. I have never seen or experienced that man there ever again.

So Everette, weather it's God, or Guardian Angel, I probably won't ever know that until I die.


Your Aussie friend Michele

Good morning Herbie

It is a big triumph for me, to be able to share my story with you all. I don't think you all realize, how much you all mean to me, I love JPF, and you all inspire me.

So Thanks!

Your Aussie friend

Michele

Good morning Mark

Yeah, I pushed the right button, Whooo, hooo, I am so excited, things are really turning around for me, and I am making the right decisions.

You've been a Manager of some sought, you are so funny Mark, you just bring smiles to my face.

I will continue to get through the bad days, and continue to make the right decisions.

My Goals are, to encourage other victims to also make it, write my book, sing, write more songs, hold the biggest concert here in Australia, of Artists from all around the world, Rock, Pop, and country singers, to raise money for Mental Health, I could continue, but I would be here all day, hah.

Oops, and to be the Best Assistant Manager! Maybe even Manager in the future.

Thanks so much

Your Aussie friend
Michele

Michele, your story makes all of our musical endeavors COMBINED seem trivial by comparison! You are are an extrordinary person, never forget that!

Michele, I am so, so pleased and thrilled for your continued successes!

You will have my prayers as you get through the next few months.
I have noticed that with any unpleasant event, when the earth comes round to that same point in space again (same season, etc.) our bodies remember. I lost a baby on Oct. 6 many years ago (he would be 13 this year) and even though I have pulled through the grief of that loss very well, that on that day I may still feel sad - even if I don't remember, on the day of, why I'm feeling sad.

So... I understand what you are saying. It's a very real thing. Our bodies are so, so smart. They're telling us they (or we) still need to heal a bit more.

I heard a wonderful quote this year from a man I respect very much, name of Richard G. Scott. He gave a talk on recovery in our church conference. He said, "If you had a broken leg, you wouldn't try to fix it by yourself." It is so true--we need the professional help to get through things like you've gone through. Yet sometimes, so many don't try to find the medical help. So I am very proud of you for seeking out what you needed. Also, sorry the legal system let you down too... sigh... that's also unfortunately true, too often. But--you are healing. That is huge, and wonderful, and a miracle.

I think you are doing BEAUTIFULLY well in your recovery. Please keep on the boards so we know you're hanging in there and getting through. I hope you can feel the love and family feeling we all have for you! You really add a bright light to our little group here, and I'm glad you're here with us.

Shine on!!

Linda

That is wonderful strength and courage and taking it a day at a time. You go girl! for I believe everyone here is always in your corner

Dan

Hi Bob

I really do my best, to try and listen to as many songs as I can here, cause I just think you are all the best.

My musical endeavors, are to help others, and myself, and Wow, now I have the greatest network of friends here, from all over the world. Now I'm emotional!

My very first song "Don't Push My Button", my husband, inspired me to write it, cause I am Stronger & wiser then ever before.

The chorus, I can't take it anymore, was said, because I still hurt, but I will get over it, and I won't allow myself to be the Victim anymore. Hah.

Bob, I really don't think I am extraordinary, I have learnt a lot from my past experiences, and to be here, talking to you all, I am so thankful. Golly gosh, look what I would of missed out on hah. My JPF Chums.

All the best to you Bob!

Your Aussie friend

Michele

Hi Linda

I agree with you, I think our bodies are smart, as I have learnt all about it. To learn about the symptoms, was one of the biggest stepping stones for me, with recovery, that has helped me where I am today.

I am very sorry you lost a baby, that's so sad. I have had a couple of friends who also lost there baby, and it's heartbreaking. Also I believe you feel those sad days, just like me, our body reminds us hey.

I do feel the love here Linda, and I feel very safe here. What I enjoy about JPF, is all the different personalities we have here, you are all so special.

I will always keep in touch with you Linda.

Your friend always
Michele

Hi Dano,

Thanks for being here for me, and in my corner. I just think you are all fantastic here. My JPF friends, from all over the world.

I am so proud, that I have made it to an Assistant Manager. You know Dano, others get actually threatened by you bettering yourself, but if they only new hah. It's not to big note myself, or to boss anyone around, it's about making it to where I am today, for me, cause golly gosh, it's been so hard.

I will be a good Assistant Manager, cause I am very caring, I am a team player, I want to keep others safe, be happy, and more.

Yipee!

Your friend Michele

Michele, we all are unique and important to God, we are His creations, He wants us to succeed. HIS own son, Jesus, came to earth and gave HIS life so we could become sons and daughters of the Father. HE is there, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit, all the time, just talk to HIM, acknowledge HIM, worship HIM, accept Jesus as your saviour. We are in a spiritual battle with the enemy and we don't have to fight it alone, Jesus fights it for us. Just ask.

Congrats Mz Michele!

Each New Day's the Perfect Gift...if only 'cuz it puts One More Day between You & The Past. Sounds like you're doin' Everything Right lately..& just keep on doin' More of it, You'll Be In Great Shape!

You make us all Proud to be Friends of Yours!
Big Hugs,
Stan

Hi Everette

I do ask God, not as much as I probably should, cause I believe he is right beside me anyway. My beliefs are probably not as strong as yours, cause I believe God will be with me where ever I go, and what I ever I do in my life, and I don't feel I need to prey everyday, as God will always guide me.

Also after what I experienced before, and when I lost control back in 1997, all I can say, weather it was God, or Guardian Angel, I don't know, I am happy they helped me through.

The bad apples, they won't be going to a nice place when they die, as they have to face God.

Today, I went to my workplace to do a course of how to use our coffee machine, and we where all standing behind the bar, and I for some reason looked over at the gaming machines, and there was a fellow holding his Mum, saying Mum, Mum, are you alright, I went over quickly, and she wasn't moving, and her eyes where wide open, and then her eyes just closed, I thought she had gone. I said to my work colleagues, quickly ring for an ambulance, I was saying to others, can someone help me get her off the stool, and help me to get her onto the ground as her son was shaking to bad & in shock, so the fellow who was running the coarse, quickly helped me to get her on the ground, and we put her into the recovery position, still not moving, I said to myself then, please God don't let her die. You know what, she all of a sudden opened her eyes, started talking to us, and I was amazed. She was taken to the hospital, and I prey she is okay.

You know Everette, I thought of your song, God picked another flower today, but it wasn't her time yet hah. Thanks God!

Back when I was in my early thirties, I witnessed my aunty die, and her eyes I can still remember. When I lost control in 1997 I got really bad flash backs of the ordeal, and I said to my counselor, what is wrong with me, why am I getting these flash backs, I'm going crazy. With lots of counseling, I realized I had never dealt with it at the time, I put it away with the rest of my pain that had happened in my life. Well it hit me like a ton of BRICKS, in 1997.

Everything that hurt me, I never cried, never got angry, didn't talk about it, and when I did, those who I trusted, hurt me even worse.

I will continue to prey, and a big hug & thanks Everett.

Your Aussie friend

Michele

thats a pretty awesome story!!

Hi Stan

Thanks for all your support, I will be a great Assistant Manager, and you never know hah, maybe one day Manager.

You are all so supportive here, I think so much of you all. I couldn't imagine my life with out JPF, use are the best friends anyone could ever ask for hey.

Love

Your Aussie friend
Michele

Hi Biopsy

Nice to meet you, and how are you? Tell me about yourself hah. I haven't met you yet, and it will be great to get to know you.

Aussie friend

Michele

You know Michele, the bible says we should pray continuously. Now we know we can't pray that way as we see praying, kneeling with our eyes closed, but we can be in an attitude of prayer, just as you were with that woman, you just asked that God would spare that woman's life, and HE did, I wonder if you hadn't asked, would she have died. He wants to be a part of our lives, to be our friend, to be acknowledged . If you didn't speak to your husband or acknowledge him for days on end, how long do you think your marriage would last. I am aware that GOD is with me all the time, I ask HIM for help and advice all the time, I ask for HIS guidance in many things( I don't always listen) but I ask. I officially kneel and pray at night, but I try to be in an attitude of prayer all day long, I often fail, but I then ask for forgiveness, and HE does forgive.

Go to church, most of the world will not even give HIM an hour a week to recognise HIM as GOD and saviour. Some that do go to church, only do so tokenly, the rest of the week they don't know or care if HE is there in their lives. I wrote a song called Sunday Christian, it pretty much sums up this type of Christian.

Hey Aussie Friend Michele,

I just wanted to chime in with the rest of the gang here....kudos for not only surviving those ordeals, but to be thriving.

As I'm sure you've learned through your counselling, when you turn anger inward, that's what leads to depression...but if you can harness those feelings and understand that the blame lies elsewhere, you can "exorcize" your demons and face the world with newfound strength. You seem to be doing a marvelous job of it so far...and though you're still going to have those dark days, hopefully, with the help and support of those you've CHOSEN to surround yourself with, the lows won't be so low or as long-lasting.

I especially admire your ambition beyond just healing yourself. It would be very easy to still live "under the thumb" of your abuser(s), but you have risen to the challenge and then some.

You're an inspiring woman, Michele, and I'm pleased you found JPF so we can all learn from your remarkable story.

CARRY ON!

Beth

Hey Michele,
I'm glad you have gotten to this point in your life. You've overcome what most never begin to feel or even try to understand.
Having good days, well, it's not the easiest thing to accomplish, but having more good than bad, it's almost a choice. I choose to wake up and be happy I woke up. I choose to smile even when I may not feel like it. I choose not to let the past rule my future. You've made those choices too and it's a good thing. Life will get easier as you go on, honest. Every good day will double, every bad day will feel like it's so long ago. Dealing with the grief is the only way to get past it. Too many of us try to bury it and it always digs itself out and finds us when we least expect it. You're on the right path.
I've found writing is the best outlet, even if most never see what I write, I get to say what I feel, makign sense or not. I can put every emotion out there, and not have it pulling me back down. You've made good choices, you are surviving, and you'll make it long and far.

I wish you much luck and success. You've earned it, the decisions we make to live life instead of living through it, are huge, even if they seem so small at the time we make them.

Hi Beth

You just bring smiles to my face, BETHAROO, love the nick name hah.
You are a barrel of laughs, and so much fun to be around, you know what I mean.

Every year I keep growing, I look back at where I have come from, and yes, my good days well and truly out weigh the bad. When I used to go down, I would go down for a week & more, but now I only go down for not even a full day most of the time, so that is a huge achievement for me.

So when I have those bad days now, I get on JPF, ring a friend, tell my hubby, and that helps me to get out of it faster. Yipee!

And I agree, it causes Mental Health, if you keep things in, it's a really good thing to talk about it.

Gotta go, off to work tonight, and thanks so much Beth for all your support here, and for making me laugh.

Your Aussie friend

Michele

Hi Caroline

It's nice to meet you, and thanks so much for your support. I will also be great to get to know you.

I think it's absolutely is amazing, what our brain does to protect us, how something can traumatize you, and you mentally bury it, and then it just bubbles out when it wants. I am greatful, a lot of my stuff I buried didn't come out to later though, cause I don't think I would of made it, if it all had of come out at once.

Gotta go, back tomorrow, I'm off to work, and I will catch you around JPF.

Your Aussie friend

Michele