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recorded this real quick today ..thoughts?? thanks ! Heather

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=451624


`You’ve already made up my heart`

v1

Baby I've got something to confess
I've been getting flowers from my ex
and yesterday he showed up at my door
asking me to take him back once more
he got upset when I mentioned you
and told me that I’m gonna have to choose
who’s it gonna be between you guys
but there ain’t left nothing to decide

chorus

you've already made up my heart
I guess old habits don’t always die hard
he keeps coming around trying to change my mind
but you've already made up my heart


v2

funny thing, as he was standing there
I caught myself starting to compare
And I aint saying that he’s ugly cause he’s not
But next to you my old flame just ain’t so hot
but I know if I would only wear his ring
I’d never have to want for anything
Well that sounds good but my loves not for sale
So it lookin' like he’s SOL



Chorus

Howdy Heather,

It's always so nice to hear your voice...and since you do so much of the music for other people, it's easy to forget you're a lyricist to boot (I think that's a quadruple threat or something? :o )

Anyhoo, right off the bat, LOVE this one. First off, the hook is KILLER! When you can twist an oldie into something new, you're already half-sold it.

Also, you've taken some inspired twists and turns in the melody, and the story itself is a nice update on the "torn between two lovers" theme. There were a couple of lines I liked especially:

he keeps coming around trying to change my mind
but you've already made up my heart

And I aint saying that he’s ugly cause he’s not
But next to you my old flame just ain’t so hot

Well that sounds good but my loves not for sale

NOW, Heather, comes my only problem. I don't know what SOL stands for in this particular situation. I actually googled it, and it had over a hundred possibilities (though I doubt you're suggesting he's now the Statue Of Liberty!)..But Strike Out Looking was one, and there were a few others that made sense...but with it being such an important part of the song, I think you might want to clarify it/tweak it in some way so as to make it understandable to this poor girl's head!

Otherwise, like I said, I think it's sensational. I feel very lucky to have worked with you -- and hope to continue to do more of that in the future (btw, I did send you an email back earlier...).

Keep up the good work...but make sure you're resting those gorgeous vocal chords as you get ready for the Demo Derby. You'll be singing your little heart out I suspect!

Ciao for now,
Beth

I don't know what it is, but the combination of the words and the music just don't seem to mesh for me. The music is good, with a good melody and well sung (as usual) and the words are good, but ....

Maybe I hear the verses as a little more hard-edged, but the first "you've already made up my heart" in the verse sounds perfect. Maybe it is just a love song, but by having the "ex" so involved it just seems weird. The SOL line doesn't work for me.

Sorry I could be more helpful on this one.

Kevin

Hi Heather,
You've got a nice voice and it's a pretty good country song but I've got to ask what SOL is. That's all I'd change because I doubt I'm the only one who has no idea what it means. But I'll probably smack my head when I find out, ha ha. Anyway nice work.

Steve

Wow! Dynamite hook in this. I just read the lyrics. The title sold me immediately. I will listen to the tune a bit later. if it is anything like the lyric, you definitely have a shot with this one.

SOL is an acronym/abbreviation which contains one of the seven words you can't say on television (or probably in here). It stands for 'S**T Out of Luck'. It is a VERY COMMON acronym; the vast majority of people out there will know what it means.

That one line gives this song something that quite frankly 99.9999999% of all the lyrics I read online don't have, a GREAT hook. There are lots of really good lyric writers who post stuff here and elsewhere and I read a lot of it and a lot of it is damn good and I will usually compliment them, but if I was a publisher or and A%R person I would pass because of the lack of a KILLER HOOK. There are a lot of very well written lyrics that have no hook at all. If you are writing for cuts, you need to have that memorable hook.

I agree that this lyric needs some polishing but it has the hook to work around.

thank you all for the comments ! very very helpful ...and yes SOL is Sh*t outta luck : ) may be a southern thing ?? may reconsider that if i get more comments on it ...

"SOL".....Now I do feel stupid. I've heard it a thousand times. I'll blame it on my aging memory. Yeah, that's it. That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.LOL

Steve

Heather - A beautiful song to be sure, and a beautiful hook! And I got the whole "SOL" thing right away. But I agree with Kevin about the incongruity of the music vs. the lyrics. I love the melody you have going and I love the lyrics, but I'm just not sure they fit together just right. There's just something about your beautiful voice singing "SOL" in such a beautiful way that doesn't seem right!

I really do love so many things about this song. You said you recorded this quickly today so I don't know how much time you've spent on it before now or if it's just brand new, but I really hope you don't give up on it and that you keep tweaking. In my opinion, the chorus is perfect and a definite winner.

Good job!

Hi Heather...

As I said before, I didn't get the "SOL" reference....though it appears several people here do. Still if you had said something like...

Well that sounds good but my loves not for sale
I'd rather pinch pennies with you LOL

...I'd at least understand it...but maybe it's just the use of an acronym here at all that has me not quite sure about it...So maybe you could say:

Well that sounds good but my loves not for sale
Guess I should tell 'em it's time to bail

I dunno, just tossing things out there. I would hate to have you lose anyone in your audience because of SOL. I can't believe I'm the only person who has never heard it before. I also agree with Katie to a degree....the song is pretty, you're speaking to your lover in very honest yet tender terms...and SOL might be a bit crude for its place in the verse (please know I have as big a potty mouth as the next guy...)...

Anyway, you are very close to finishing this...I'll look forward to your next installment!!

Good luck,
Beth

Heather:
Sounds good to me.
And this Northerner knew what SOL meant too.

Good hook. I think the chorus needs some work both musically and lyrically. I think you should not lead with the hook-just deliver it at the end of the chorus. In other words, build to the hook. don't use it twice.

Ok, some troubleshooting about the treatment. Your first verse sets up the facts about the relationship but the fact that the singer is even entertaining the ex's notion that she "has to choose" puts the singer in a compromising situation as does the reference to him as "an old habit". It becomes a weak argument. The singer has to make a strong argument in order to to get a pay off with the hook.

The second verse makes a compelling case but it needs to be said more poetically or metaphorically I think. Again, the singer's motives are in question because clearly she is weighing the options (love or security) and she can't have it both ways. As the hook implies, she really hasn't made up her mind yet- her heart is made up but it may not win the argument. That might be the better song- make it a song about a choice she hasn't made yet. It also would be a more realistic song because any honest woman would be faced with a real dilemma if offered respect, (his) love and security on one hand and passion (hers and his) on the other. She must know that passion cools in every relationship and security becomes more valuable with passing time.

"But next to you my old flame just ain’t so hot" I thought that was a very funny line.

What is it with all this SOL. EVERYBODY knows what this means.

vaguely I got the SOL reference. I don't know anyone who uses it. I don't think it works in this song. I like a few songs that spell it out. D I V O R C E and T R O U B L E seem to work for Tammy Wynette and Travis Tritt.

what the hey- have a listen to Travis: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS06R_GIRYg

and here's Tammy. Did you notice how Heather sounds a lot like the queen of country music?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQs3jZbxFTQ

Sounding good Heather. Play around with the tempo a bit, I think a slower tempo would work well. Just my opinion, for what it's worth.

Very special voice!

Lyrics worked for me

unlike Everett, I like to hear this more up-tempo

rittmo'

Hi Heather

I think this will smooth out nicely one you play it a bit more... I wanted to weigh in on SOL - I have no problem wrapping my mind around it BUT , big but, when I look at the rest of the lyrical content this gal seems sweet, honest and precious and that phrase does not fit well to That character...

Well that sounds good but my loves not for sale
So it lookin' like his CREDIT HAS FAILED


or something along that line

So it looks like his credit line fails???

Like the song jm

Hi Heather

Golly gosh, you have the most beautiful voice, to me, all you need is a full production to give it a boost.

I'm a fan!

Michele
Aussie girl from down under

Heather..I think this is killer...Hook, Lines and Sink it!!!

The SOL line...well, I guarantee ya'....that is NOT just a southern thing. I got it immediately and think that it works perfectly...I couldn't find anything about it that I didn't like..and you know that I like you alot, but if I found something that didn't hit me right, I'd tell ya' for that self-same reason. Well...I love it....I'd buy it....great work as usual,Heather.

Jan

This is a nice song - a good melody and strong lyrics. Of course, with your voice, you can make anything sound good.

The cadence in a few of the lines could be improved: For example

- he got upset when I mentioned you (just needs slightly differenct emphasis on the words)

- I guess old habits don’t always die hard (cadence is forced)

So many of the lines are excellent. My favorites are:

- who’s it gonna be between you guys
but there ain’t left nothing to decide

- funny thing, as he was standing there
I caught myself starting to compare
And I aint saying that he’s ugly cause he’s not
But next to you my old flame just ain’t so hot

I also think it might be effective if you pick up the tempo a little as the song progresses. I think, as an alternate, fuller instrumentation could be used to add some more variety to the song as it progresses.

It is a very nice song with a good hook.

Tom

wow ! thank you ALL for the comments..you are really helping me on this one ..I am going to work on it and post if I come up with any changes..i so appreciate your input !

Heather....

The rest of your tune I'll let you struggle with, but what stuck out to me like a sore thumb is the title and here is why.....

"You've already made up my heart" to me is a tad awkward ....

"You've already made up my heart" I'm guessing is a "playoff of" or an inverted "I've already made up my mind"...

In essence I believe what you are TRYING to say is these two ideas in ONE line....

"You've already CAPTURED my heart"

AND

"Ive already MADE UP MY MIND"

Hence the title..."You've already made up my heart"

Still, for whatever reason it's awkward to me....Anyways, that's my take on it.....

BTW....When I get a duet going you are my first choice....

nice melody Heather, i hear pedal steel sending this one where it needs to go...i like the old flame ain't so hot and the SOL line...your vocal is very honest in this one, helps to make it believable, you know that's a key element to how a song is received...if i were to give any advice it would only to be a little more clever withmaybe a handful of lines in the lyric...what you have says it well, i'd try and embellish it a little so the lines have a snap to them like the lines i mention, they're unique, say what you mean, and are very clever, some of the others are just there Heather, i know you know what i mean, they can't all be clever, but a few more of them would give this song some more steam...i still say you have a very beautiful vocal delivery...good write...moker

I love this. This is the best I've heard from you. Keep the chorus the way it is. The "SOL" is the weakest thing I've heard in this song. But it may be more awkward trying to substitute another line that says the same thing. The only thing that I think may improve this is a bridge that takes this song over the top with an emotional pay off. Make a brief emotionally strong statement raising your pitch and power to give your audience the lift they currently don't get and you have yourself a hit!IMHO
Good writing and performance. Best wishes Heather.

Nice One Heather

thank you all again...im listening ! tonight I will work on this and see what happens : ) thanks !

One line I would change is;

Well that sounds good but my loves not for sale
((So it lookin' like he’s SOL))

Replace it with:

Compared to you his love starts to pale

(or) when compared to you his Love's so pale

it gives a truer rhyme and no confusion as to what SOL means.

Heather, it sounds good on repeat listening.

Tom

Hey Heather,

Very nice overall and you can certainly sing........good hook as mentioned.

Along with the SOL, I don't particularly like bad English even though it's a country song and it's common.

"but there ain’t left nothing to decide" could be
"but there's nothing left to decide" which fits just as well.

SOL sounds very slangy. Maybe that's what you want for your target audience.

Just saying........!

Hi Heather,

No argument here about your singing. You made it sound so easy and very natural. The title and chorus were unique and kept my attention. As for the SOL, I knew what it meant, it surprised me, which isn't always a bad thing, then I got over it. To me, it's just one more thing to set it apart from all the other songs.

If I had to pick a nit, I would say that I would like to see a little more imagery in the verses. You have a couple good lines but more would make it more interesting and as fresh as the chorus.

I don't know how much time you have spent on it, but I think a little more will give you a solid keeper.

Ricki

Hi Heather,

As usual another great vocal. I think the hook was clever by working the traditional phrase of "make up my mind" and switching it to "make up my heart". Very good idea there. To be honest I never heard the term "SOL" (which means I can't be alone) and when I read the song in print I thought it was going to be faster and sung in a different light but w/the softness of the vocal and a more mellow melody I don't believe "SOL" fits in. In all candor I don't care for curse words in a song or even an acronoym representing a curse word, and I think this is too soft to include it. I tried to think of another line there that would end with a rhyme to rhyme with "sale" in the line before and one I thought of was:

Well that sounds good but my loves not for sale,
It won't be long before he finds out..

The "out" if you sing it in your normal style will sound like a soft rhyme w/sale, (I tried it). Just an idea for you if the "SOL" is a weak spot.

Nice one Heather.

Best,
Lynn

ok ..check this second verse out and please tell me your thoughts ..thanks !

'you’ve already made up my heart`

v1

Baby I've got something to confess
I've been getting flowers from my ex
and yesterday he showed up at my door
asking me to take him back once more
he got upset when I mentioned you
and told me that I’m gonna have to choose
who’s it gonna be between you guys
but there ain’t left nothing to decide

chorus

you've already made up my heart
I guess old habits don’t always die hard
he keeps coming around trying to change my mind
but you've already made up my heart


v2

funny thing, as he was standing there
I caught myself starting to compare
And I aint saying that he’s ugly cause he’s not
But next to you my old flame just ain’t so hot
He so serious, you’re a hoot
with a great personality and brains to boot
he just ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
cause he just can't seem to get it through his head

chorus

I like all of the second verse except the very last line, I'd rather hear something like """every word I say, goes over his head""" or something to push the dim light burning between his ears idea.

Hi Heather,
The song is pretty much there. The one thing I didn't hear was why your Ex is now your Ex. If you can work something in to explain that and not lose the tempo of the song you have it. It needs to be in the first verse. Good song, good writing!

thanks yall !!

Just drop two words (seem to) in the last line.

Much better.

In verse 2 line 4 I'm wondering if you can delete the word "just" for a smoother flow and keep the syllables at 10 as in Verse 1 same line. The melody is solid but because of certain words in the lyric like "ugly, not the brightest tool in the shed" "your a hoot" I can see this possibly being done in a more uptempo pace.

Hey Heather

I like the changes - with every little tweek it gets better. Nice work. jm

thanks yall..still working on it !

ok..i got the song back form a songu coach ...heres the evaluation and I think he/she is right ..anyone want to offer up ideas for verse 2 ...if anyone comes up with anything I want to keep I will take them as cowriter..I would like to spiff this one up !

Love your title and the way you wrote the chorus lyric, really good job... one problem for me with the second verse, it seems too novelty and out of context with the seriousness of the rest of your song, I would rewrite the second verse to fit the rest of your song... Good melody, very easy to listen too...
Should be a good song for you....Very unique title and idea... A for originalityI think this song has potential ( with a rewrite clearing up some of the phrases that do not fit the song...etc.
( like Sharpest tool in the shed, I ain't sayin he's ugly,
these lines are good but belong in another song with a big sense of humor

mmmmmm....sounds like your coach read the posts on this board!!

I agree that the chorus/hook is very good. Your coach describes V2 as novelty and that's what I think of when I hear "ain't the sharpest tool in the shed" and "ugly".

All you need to do is find different ways to express those same sentiments.....

homely instead of ugly?.......

He's not the sharpest guy that I know,
Shoulda figured this out weeks ago

Hi Heather, like Beth said, we all forget what a talented writer you are because your such a gifted vocalist. Love the song especially the hook. I agree with many comments about v-2 even tho you could deliver a meatloat to a vegetarian and they'd eat it. You've painted a nice picture here and it's pretty easy to read between the lines. Here's my 2 cents worth on how to add closer to v-2 but it's only a sugg...great work

But I know if I would only wear his ring...
I'd never have to want for anything..
But my memories of the way things used to be..
Only re-inforce the fact..that he's just a memory...

You've already made up my heart..

Pete

thank you Pete and Colin ...much appreciated : )

Hi Heather-
Guess i'll repeat a lot of what's already said, like ... you have a lovely voice!! ... great hook!! ....nice tune!!
I don't have to deal with the SOL issue anymore, so i'll skip that and I must admit songu put into words what I was thinking but could not explain about verse 2 .. yes... it seems too 'light-hearted' compared to the rest of the song.
This is a wonderful song .. almost done! Gonna be a winner!
All the best!
Joanne

thank you Joanne..going to keep working and try to get it rite : )

I remember this one.It really has a cool lyric.Great vibe on your vocal quality

Heather,

good tune..great hook..the chorus is great. i only had a little trouble with the rhyme scheme in the chorus. the heart/hard/mind/heart rhyme scheme threw me off, even after a couple of listens, just didn't get used to it. to me, it would sound better with an internal rhyme on line three, something like:

you've already made up my heart
I guess old habits don’t always die hard
he's biding his time, hoping I'll change my mind
but you've already made up my heart

also, i just did not understand this line...

but I know if I would only wear his ring
I’d never have to want for anything

i thought she was changing her mind..then i realized you're implying you'd never want for riches...that confused me since I include "love" with "anything"

a simple change would clarify it

he said if I would only wear his ring
I’d never have to want for anything

..ant

ok..rewrite on part second verse..how about it ?? thanks

`You’ve already made up my heart`

v1

Baby I've got something to confess
I've been getting flowers from my ex
and yesterday he showed up at my door
asking me to take him back once more
he got upset when I mentioned you
and told me that I’m gonna have to choose
who’s it gonna be between you guys
but there ain’t left nothing to decide

chorus

you've already made up my heart
I guess old habits don’t always die hard
he keeps coming around trying to change my mind
but you've already made up my heart


v2

as he stood outside ,the screendoor half closed
with a plastic-wrapped , single ,red rose
he seemed to search my eyes in a stare
looking to find something no longer there
he said “ you know he’s nothing but a fling “
then I saw him glance at your promise ring
I said “ were set to marry this July”
That’s when I think he finally realized