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Ok people since my last challenge dropped like a rock lol. I thought I'd try again with a more traditional theme. This one is pretty basic take a tradtional or non tradtional Christmas lyric and make a parody of it (note parody implies humor). Below is my example of non traditional Christmas song parody. The main point of this is have fun!

A parody of Elvis’s Santa Bring My Baby back to me

Santa Claus is not the enemy

If you don’t get what you want this year
Please don’t blame Santa Claus
If you all you gals receive at Christmas
Is designer push up bras
Oh ladies I hope you’ll see
Santa Claus is not the enemy

Hey guys if you receive a tie
Not a forty inch television
Don’t wait outside with a shotgun
It wasn’t ST nicks decision
Hey guys can’t you see
Santa Clause is not the enemy

Don’t wait at the chimney
To fill him full of lead
It sure won’t feel like Christmas
If Santa Claus is dead
If you’re on Santa’s list
I’ll give you this advice
If you want to get good gifts
You’d better treat him nice
Oh people can’t you see
Santa Claus is not the enemy

Don’t wait at the chimney
To fill him full of lead
It sure won’t feel like Christmas
If Santa Claus is dead
If you’re on Santa’s list
I’ll give you this advice
If you want to get good gifts
You’d better treat him nice
Oh people can’t you see
Santa Claus is not the enemy

Yeah people can’t you see
Santa Claus is not the enemy

Copyright December 1, 2007 Derek Hines All Rights Reserved

Okay, got one. This was a co-write with my daughter. I don't know if it's quite a parody any more; it started out that way, but as I was working out the music, I gave up on Mel Torme's fruity chords, and decided since it was going to come out country when I played it, it might as well *be* country music.

Here's the lyrics:

CHIPMUNKS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE
--J. Wrabek & Kimberly Koops-Wrabek

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
Bluebirds nipping at your nose,
Yuletide carolers being hung from a wire
And folks pissed off at Eskimos;
Ev'rybody knows
The turkeys ate the mistletoe;
Birds that dumb deserve to die;
And tiny tots that to bed will not go
Will join them, later on tonight.
You see, there's someone on her way
And she got lots of toys and goodies to display,
And any little eyes that try to spy
Will see if children really know how to fly...
And so I'm offering this warning once,
In case you haven't got a clue:
Get your asses to bed
Or you'll wish you were dead--
Merry Christmas to you.

[SHORT INSTRUMENTAL BREAK, THEN REPEAT VERSE TO END]

(c) 2007 J. Wrabek & K. Koops-Wrabek. All the usual rights reserved just in case. No animals were harmed in the writing of this song.

Joe

Joe Hiilfreakinlarious!

I wanna hear this one! Awesome job on making this one your own and who is this mystery woman? Could it be Mom? lol Great job again friend and thanks for adding a rather tasty tidbit to this oddball challenge! MMM roasted chipmunks (Drool)
Derek

HiDee Bro D! Fun I-Dee, Amigo! Here's a 10-minute-Quicky, on Such Short Notice..heh!

"SANTA CLAUS IS FACING..JI-HAD"

You Better Watch Out
You Better Not Cry
Osama Bin Laden's Men..Are Nearby!
Santa Claus is Facing..JI-HAD~

He's Gonna Get Hit
He's Gonna Take Flack
When His Sleigh Visits Iran or Iraq
Santa Claus is Facing..JI-HAD~

They Watch Him as He's Sleeping
They KNOW When He's Awake..
Thank GOD He's Airborne..All-The-Time
'Cuz They Got an I.E.D. in-Place!

So..Y'Better Watch Out
Ya Better Keep-Flyin'
Osama Keeps Makin' Videotapes..Predictin' You're Dyin'
Santa Claus is Facing..JI-HAD....

(TAG)
Ain't It ODD?
Santa Claus is Facing..JI-HAD!

Lyrics (C) 2007 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

He he he nice politically charged Christmas parody

Very cool little lyric there I enjoyed it. Is it based on reality are they really down on Santa?? If so that makes this even funnier lol. Great job amigo and thanks for the contribution!
Big Guy Hugs
Derek

HiDee Bro D again!

Nah...it's based on all those Knife-Wieldin' Fanatics that massed around the Lady's Jail where that poor Teacher who named the Class Teddybear "Mohammed" is imprisoned.

What a Humorless Bunch of "Believers". (Let that be a Lesson to us All.)

Big Guy-Hug, & Peace!
Stan

Hi Derek,

Thanks for giving us a challenge. Jean also has one going on over on the Songwriter Forum for "Holiday Songs".

“It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas” (a parody)
(c)2007 Lynn Orloff

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
Everywhere you go,
It’s the day after Halloween,
Wal-Mart puts out nativity scenes,
Poor Thanksgiving didn’t even make a show.

It’s beginning to sound a lot like Christmas,
On Christmas radio,
They are playing our favorite songs,
Yet Jack O Lanterns still sit on our lawns,
While we’re hearing songs of wreaths and mistletoe.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
X Box's are for sale,
Yes, they're all camping out in their tents,
Who cares if they all miss the rent,
They’ll just tell their landlord some outrageous tale.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
The bills are piling high,
Gotta get gifts for Uncle Bill,
The office and better still,
My out-of-state, out-of-mind cousins might stop by.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
The kids are well behaved,
They have a wish list of their toys,
Their willing to keep down the noise,
My twenty year old is finally willing to shave.

It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas,
My weight is 402,
Though the cookies were meant as gifts,
I read chocolate can give you a lift,
So I’ll have to see what Jenny Craig can do.

Oh it’s beginning to look, beginning to sound,
beginning to feel, …like Christmas!!!!

Okay, you asked for it....here's a one minute song...Yikes!!

(Parody of Rudolph)


Donald the Pompous CEO

You know Snarky and Peppy and Morty and Nixon
J. Ron and Spiro and Crandall and Smidgeon
But...do you recall...
The most famous idiot of all

Donald, the pompous CEO
Had a very huge E..GO
And if you came across it
You could stand and watch it grow

All of the other CEO's
Used to wish they had his name
They never let poor Donald
Join in all their big boy games

Then one gloomy fiscal year
Santa came to say
Donald with your nose so high
Won't you fund my ride tonite

Then how the big boys loathed him
He took their publicity
Donald the pompous CEO
You'll keep...causin'.... misery....Ca...Ching

Blame this one on the Christmas parade tonight. There was an Elvis impersonator on a float. His Blue Christmas hit my ears right after the hell fire and brimstone preacher in the pulpit rode by mentioning hell. I couldn't believe "hell at a Christmas parade?" Well, that got me thinking about a lyric, I'll have a Red Hot Christmas (with the idea of hell for the plot) but, by the time I got home I'd already had a nap and this is all I could think of. Sorry.


RED HOT CHRISTMAS

My apologies to the authors of Blue Christmas (Jay W. Johnson and Billy Hayes)

I'll have a red hot Christmas with Santa
I'll be so warm snuggling with Santa
Decorations so cold on a white Christmas tree
Won't seem so dreary when he makes love to me

We’ll have a red hot Christmas not drinkin’
And when those blue lightbulbs start blinkin’
We'll be happy in bed without jammies or threads
‘Cos we’ll have a red hot, Christmas

I'll have a red hot Christmas with Santa
I'll be so red hot playin' with Santa
He’ll be feeling all right when he flies out of sight
Oh we’ll have a red, hot Christmas.

I'll have a red hot Christmas with Santa, red hot Christmas
We'll, have a red, red hot Christmas

Hiya Lynn

Nice little lyrical entry. My the holidays can be rough can't they? I hate doing any type of shopping this time of year. It seems people are in their own worlds not even paying attention to what's going on around them. And quite a few are in quite the mood. And yes it seems that's what it is all about getting the latest and the greatest of what it's and thingamabobs. Most don't even know the true meaning of Christmas. Thanks for your rather sobering look at the holidays!
Derek

HE HE

My mich sis what a gem yup the quick are always the best. This one is no exception. Yes the Don just seems to get more and more powerfull kinda makes ya wonder is he mafia? I bet at the least he has hired goons. What a funny look at one of America's Richest yet somewhat most despised CEO. Thanks for the entry and the laugh both enjoyable!
Derek

why Vanessa :O

What a hot little number! Much more than I saw mommy kissin' Santa Claus. Very good use of the twist from blue to red. Just out of couriosiy (spelled wrong) Is this Mrs Claus perspective or is Santa playin' naughty? lol either way great fun little lyric thanks for the contribution!
Derek

Derek,

Glad you enjoyed my little stab at the type of person I cannot abide by. Tried hard to get something in there about that disgusting hair-do, but couldn't make it stick. maybe next time.

Hugs,

Sis

Post deleted by Dave Gill

Hey Dave

can't help but think I've seen this one somewhere before lol. Very good imagery and capturing all the nuances of holidays from hell. I'll overlook the fact that it doesn't seem to parody a christmas song. Thanks for posting!
Derek

Derek, you've already seen this one, but I thought I'd throw it in anyway. BTW, that one challenge you started a while back, you seemed really interested in the lyric I wrote. Maybe, sometime we can work on it together, needs a rewrite (the Marilyn one). These challenges are fun and people do come up with some great stuff.

Well, I wrote this last year, it goes to the tune of Sleigh Ride. This was the first Christmas lyric that I ever wrote. Its a lot of words, but it goes really fast. LOL Link to a little music clip:


http://www.leroy-anderson.com/la-mp3/sleigh-ride.mp3


(V1)
Soon he’ll be gone and only will silence remain
for now all the racket’s gonna drive me insane
see him out the window against the white, white snow
all happy and excited, this trip he must go
worry and miss him tonight, sleep won’t come I know


(chorus)
The elves go singing, the elves go singing along
the bells go ringing, the bells go ringing in song
little hammers go tap, tap, tapping all day
little paintbrushes go dap, dap, dapping away
My head keeps poun, poun, pounding what can I say
soon he’ll be off, off, off with reindeer and sleigh


(V2)
In the medicine cabnet, the asprin’s all gone
How much longer will the poundin’ and tappin’ go on
How much longer will those elves keep singin’ that song
I’ll go make the cocoa to fill up his mug
There’s not enough milk and all I can do is shrug


(repeat chorus)
The elves go singing, the elves go singing along
the bells go ringing, the bells go ringing in song
little hammers go tap, tap, tapping all day
little paintbrushes go dap, dap, dapping away
My head keeps poun, poun, pounding what can I say
soon he’ll be off, off, off with reindeer and sleigh


(V3)
I settle with warm cider and a slice of pie
sitting in his chair so lonely that I could cry
Grab a book, take a look and dream of Christmas Day
as I wait here for my man in the big red suit
wishin’ he was done unloading that loot

I usually don't join in on these challenges...but this one just sorta burst out.

Apologies in advance...

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Wino

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Wino
Had a very shiny nose
Everyone knows he got it
From drinking Wild Irish Rose

All of the businesspeople
Used to pass him out of range
They never let poor Rudolph
Get a bit of their spare change

Then one fogged-up Christmas Eve
Santa came to say,
"Rudolph, drop that cheap champagne.
Help me with my ad campaign."

Then businesspeople loved him
House insurance sales went wild
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Wino
He became their poster child

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Wino
He became their poster child

Lyle,

Yet another bend on Poor Rudolph. I for one enjoyed it immensely. Thanks for sharing it with us...too funny!!

Jan H.

Ooo, I didn't see yours Janice! Too funny also! He IS a pompous one, that Donald. These could go on forever... -Lyle

Yeah, some people just leave themselves WIDE open, huh?

Donald just leaves his MOUTH wide open...

Sorry Derek,

Here's a brand new one. Enjoy!

"Please Let Me Go Home" parody of "Please Come Home For Christmas"

Alarm clock keeps ringing
The bad, bad news
I hate mornings after
a night of booze
I spent the whole evenin'
out with my friends
now I have to go back to work
once again

Boss will be yelling
"Why are you late?!"
I wish I could tell him
"Cause your daughter was great."
Please let me go home
Please let me go home
If I can't go home
Then I'll sleep on my break

Coworker's staring
Boss keeps on glaring
I'm sure that my days here are through
The radio's blasting
Christmas songs in my ear
Oh no, I fear
That I'm going to hurl on my shoes

Someone please hand me
some water and pills
Tylenol, Motrin
or maybe Advil
There'll be no more headache
No deep searing pain
Then my boss will be happy
that I'm working
again!!

Dave,this is hilarious, especially:

Boss will be yelling
"Why are you late?!"
I wish I could tell him
"Cause your daughter was great" LOL

Dave,

I give a second thumbs up on Brenda's remark....ROTFL...Jan

I'm sorry I didn't get past Joe W "Chipmunks roasting on an open fire". Joe keep at it young man because you are one clever dude. and a tip of the hat your partner in crime. but you do understand that you have now ruined the original for me just as surely as "Singing in the rain" was ruined when it was sung in that scene in "Clockwork Orange" where a London punk was kicking a homeowner to death. Your stuff is twisted and a horrible blasphamy, and I love it.

Thanks, Sam. I performed that one a couple of weeks ago, as part of a set of Christmas songs, and I got a lot of "Right on!" comments from parents in the audience afterwards. I'll try to record it this weekend, with a fiddle player substituting for the clarinet.

And I don't remember Mel Torme's words any more, myself.

Joe

I always loved the inversion:

Jack Frost roasting on an open fire,
Chestnuts nipping at your nose...

Well I got my bowl full of jelly laughing at everyone's parodies, except that "Blue Christmas" one, I got the vasoline jelly out for that one. Anyway your having too much fun so I might as well join the parade of clowns. Here's my version of "White Christmas".

I'm screaming at my wife, it's Christmas
Who gives a [naughty word removed] I'd like to know
When the credit cards glisten
And our children piss in
Their pants, for the latest game on video

I'm screaming at my wife, it's Christmas
Your turn witch, the cards to write
Just say something mealy and trite
Whilst I pop me another Bud Lite


and a Mother#^@&$*! Merry Christmas to You!

Pete

Oh, Man...Pete, I didn't think you had it in ya'. I like it.LOL

Merry Christmas(the real thing)...Jan

I believe I will try that one out on the family this season! Really funny to sing! The lines that look wrong on the page sing the best of all! Like "Your turn witch, the cards to write"...I couldn't picture it being sung...but once I tries it, I died laughing, it works so well. Good humor, Pete!

-Lyle

Well howdy, gang!

Been MIA for a bit with all the usual crapadoodle, but as I flitted in tonight and saw dear Derek's earnest endeavor for a Christmas song challenge, how could I stay away? Course, I don't have the wherewithal at this hour to come up with anything fancy, so I'll just "borrow" the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus", and make it MY OWN.

So without further ado....

I Saw Mommy Tripped by Santa Claus

I saw mommy tripped by Santa Claus
His HO HO made her toe go the wrong way
I did so want to help
But ambivalent I felt
As she got a grip onto herself as well as Santa's belt

Then I saw Mommy hugging Santa Claus
His HO HO said Let's go for a sleigh ride
Oh what delight for me
If Dad were here to see
Mommy hugging Santa Claus last night.

Then I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
His HO HO was a no-show, held that way
So I snuck back to bed
Had it all been in my head?
'Cause if not I understand why he's the jolly man in red

tag: maybe I'm just trippin'......



Ho Ho Ho in advance, and hope to be around more soon :),
xoxo,
Beth

Hi Derek,

Thanks. Well it's from Mrs. Claus' perspective of course. I think Boo Boo has got the other POV covered in her 'twisted' version of I Saw Mommie Kissing Santa Claus. So good to 'see' you Beth. You've been MISSED.

Yep Joe W, my hubby appreciated your parody too (I made sure he read it). Middle age AND raising pre-schoolers can sure make a man frustrated.

PeteG, shouldn't add much to the credit card bill---the jelly that is.

Vanessa

My oh my I've gotten behind! :O

Brenda as I mentioned when I first read this one... Awesome job really enjoyed it and yes We'll have to work on something together and your song about Marilyn? I'd be honored to give it a shot! Though I don't think we'll ever top Elton's tribute song lol
Derek

He He Lyle

This one was a bit of fun! Now that I can picture almost but even better might be letting him ride with santa and go inside peoples houses and letting them see him? Or maybe that's the angle you meant and I missed it. At any rate fun little lyric thanks for the contribution!
Derek

Yeah he'd better be carefull not to swallow any flies lol

Gill gill gill

i loved it! Always making the hits happen how do you do it? I agree with brenda the cause your daughter was great line is classic lol
Derek

You and me both Samuel

That chimpmunks roasting on an open fire is very nice but the image of children flying (aaaaahhhhhheeeiiaaaa) Now that's just to dang funny! Great job again Joe and thank for the contrib. Thanks for the visit Samuel and I'll be expecting your contribtion soon :/
Derek

Right on Pete

Very fun little lyric here. A little explosive but then this is exactly how people feel during this season. Good job of capturing that general emtional break down!
Derek

Hey Vanessa,

Thanks for picking up on this slightly campier version of the Christmas classic. It was a bit tricky, since technically I am the one always falling down, but it had to be written by Third Party, with similar sarcasm -- either of my kids would've fit the bill on that one, thank goodness.

Yeah, I haven't been around much, as I just told Bobbie, haven't been feeling so great (aside from being busy with all the holiday stuff)...Off to the docs this AM to see if we can get me settled, then hopefully I'll be back in the swing of things.

And yes, I think our two versions could be the A and B side of some great Christmas re-release.... :o

Ciao for now,
Beth

Thank you for the kind words, Brenda!! I had to convince myself to leave that line in there. I'm sure glad I did though.

Have a great day!

Dave

Very pleased that it made you giggle, Janice. Thank you.

Have a great day!!

Dave

Thank you, Derek. How do I do it, you ask? By doing my best to learn from the people here on this wonderful forum. (Thank you again, Brian for this place). If I can make someone laugh or smile while reading something I wrote, then I've accomplished my mission to bring a little joy into the world. I will continue down this path for as long as the good Lord allows me to. Until then, thanks again for challenging me to write.

Have a great day!

Dave