JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 A perfect lyric- Wille Nelson's "You were always on my mind"

I like to study great lyrics. There are many perfectly crafted lyrics. I just wanted to post this Willie Nelson classic as an example of a lyric that is pregnant with simple sincerity. This is one of the most perfectly crafted songs you will ever hear. This is something to aspire to. Some of you will get why it is great and some of you will say "What's the big deal". If you want to have a discussion about it, I will be happy to join in. If not, at least consider the merits of this great lyric:

Willie Nelson- "You were always on my mind"


Artist: Nelson Willie
written by Wayne Thompson, Mark James, and Johnny Christopher
Song: Always on My Mind

Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I'm sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your
Sweet love hasn't died
And give me
Give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied
satisfied

Little things I should have
Said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind...

Sam,
this is one of my favorites. Willie not only wrote great ones but he picked great ones to perform.

1stly the bridge turns to hope - a real bridge from "I apologize". It says in many specific ways "I didn't give you the attention you deserve" and so is very focused. This contrasts with the hook which makes it stand out and screams the emotion repeated in the bridge.

AND it describes a very common situation of a man not giving a woman sufficient attention- just an average guy caught up in making a living. On the brink of losing her he sees what's happened and tries to explain.

Men can all relate to the emotion. Women can all relate to the action(or lack of) and their own resulting emotion.

Mostly it is put in simple terms that concisely convey a lot. Everything is tangible. There is no poetic imagery to interpret.

One of the bestest evers,

John

Well, it can still make me cry after all these years. I never understood back then why my boyfriend liked to listen to Willie Nelson. I'd never even heard him 'till college and my very 'un'country boyfriend at the time loved his songs. Now I understand.

Vanessa

Hey Samuel

I do love this one but I won't say it's a perfect lyric. It has all the elements of a perfect lyric except one. It doesn't change. All throughout the story his line is the same. The bridge kinda of leans in the direction of asking what he can do and asking for a chance. But even with that he's just saying he messed up and wants another chance. Willy did wonders for this song and how couldn't he. As some one once said about some one else he could sing the phone book. But I think this lyric is far from what we call perfect. In fact I'm not sure there are perfect lyrics as much as there are good lyrics that could still use some work. That said I don't dislike this song at all. Just opening up a point for debate.
Derek

Hey Samuel hope you don't mind but this one here is a song I really like again it doesn't really go anywhere but I think it's my idea of a pretty darn good song(one I strive to write like) It's very emotional and paints a lot of brilliant pictures.

THE RACE IS ON
WITH GEORGE JONES
WRITER DON ROLLINS


I feel tears wellin' up cold deep inside
like my heart's sprung a big break
and a stab of loneliness sharp and painful
that I may never shake

You might say that I was taking it hard
since you wrote me off with a call
But don't you wager that I'll hide in sarrow
when I may lay right down and bawl

Chorus:
Now the race is on
and here comes pride in the backstreatch
Heartaches goin' to the inside
My tears are holdin' back
They're tryin' not to fall
My hearts out of the runnin'
True love's scratched for another's sake
The race is on and it looks like heartaches
and the winner looses all

One day I ventured in love
never once suspectin' what the final result would be
and how I lived in fear of waking up each morning
finding that you're gone from me
There's ache and pain in my heart
for today was the one that I hated to face
Somebody new came up to win her
and I came out in second place

Chorus:
Now the race is on
and here comes pride in the backstreatch
Heartaches goin' to the inside
My tears are holdin' back
They're tryin' not to fall
My hearts out of the runnin'
True love's scratched for another's sake
The race is on and it looks like heartaches
and the winner looses all

HiDee Sam!

I LOVE the Conversational Quality of this Lyric...it has Real "Depth" at revealing The Singer's emotions..& good character.

(& what Gal DOESN'T like An Apology?) ;-)>

Willie's a Master at using Repetition to Great-Effect, so take note how he's made it Work-Well in this one.

He's also "Posed a Question" frequently through the body of this Lyric..."Maybe"/"If"..that requires a Listener to sort thru some Memories & Mentally-Answer...(a real Attention-Getter/Fine Writing.)

The Bridge is an "Action Step"...His Laments resolve into Listener's Taking-ACTION to help him RESOLVE the Difficulties-Listed.

Ends up on an Apologetic Note, Triple Hook...so ya Never Forget da Name of This Song..Ever.

Too Simple? Too Repetitious? (Too Bad...it's a CLASSIC!)

Nice Post, Bro Sam, Glad ya did so!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

HiDee Derek!

I enjoyed this Jones song when it was Airplayin' regularly.

(Tho MY fave Jones-Song is "Hotter than a $3 Pistol"..heh-heh)

This Lyric's got FUN Goin' for it, & the "Love is like a Horse Race" Angle's not-a-baddie. BUT..it kinda Trivializes Love a wee-bit, compared to Willie's "More-Sincere" "Voicing" of "What's Important Here"...

IF you were a Gal, WHICH Lyric do ya think you'd Prefer?

Yours is pretty obviously-aimed more at the Guy-Audience. Keep in-mind that supposedly 75-85% of CDs-bought is reportedly by Gals these days...

Not to say that a "Guy-Aimed" Song isn't wise..but if you're reachin' for Sales, Willie's certainly No Fool.

I'll add One Lyric's aimed at "A Winner"..The Other summarizes "& The Winner..Loses..All"... It pays to be An Optimist, JMO.

But..I, too, write lotsa "Guy Songs" & I been wrong before..heh-heh!

Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hey amigo

Yup I getcha on that your right most gals would like willy's song over George's. That said I still like a good guy song . I think the other song you mentioned was actually called "The corvette song" Tho I could be wrong
Big Guy Hugs
Derek

Hey Sam

are you aware of this Tom Paxton's The Last Thing On My Mind, seems to me Willie did a nice job of eluding the ripp off label

[Cho:]
Are you going away with no word of farewell?
Will there be not a trace left behind?
Well, I could have loved you better,
Didn't mean to be unkind.
You know that was the last thing on my mind.

You've got reasons a-plenty for goin'.
This I know, this I know.
For the weeds have been steadily growin'.
Please don't go, please don't go.

[Cho:]

As we walk on, my thoughts are a-tumblin',
Round and round, round and round.
Underneath our feet the subways rumblin',
Underground, underground.

[Cho:]

As I lie in my bed in the mornin',
Without you, without you.
Every song in my breast dies a bornin',
Without you, without you.

[Cho:]

John H,

I think you see rigth to the heart of this song. That it came up at all was because I was looking over some lyric sheets that I used to study when I was a singer in a country band in Oregon. I picked up my son's 3/4 size guitar in the den and started playing. I was struck with the simple honestly of the song and it took me to the exact emotional place I was in the relationship I have with my wife. When I read (and sang) the lines, "If I made you feel second best, Girl I'm so sorry I was blind" I was singing my own heart. When I finished, I walked into the kitchen and my wife was very quite and clearly she had been listening. We spoke the first kind words to each other that we have had in days. It is not that we are hostile- it is that in a busy life (we have 5 kids) it is too easy to let the clutter of life distract us from saying those "little things" that need to be said to let the ones we love know that they are not second best. If a song can do that for us, that is a great song. The fact is, I don't know what I would do without my wife. It is because music is emotional magic, that we listen, play and write.

Vanessa, my wife, to this day, dislikes country music but she does like Willie Nelson and in fact when we were dating 24 years ago, the two concerts I remember going to, were both Willie Nelson concerts. Her favorite singer is James Taylor and she tells me, "The only reason I married you is because you look like James Taylor". As the hair goes, she is more right every day.

Derek, "the race is on" is one of the songs we played frequently and it is a masterpiece of nailing the "hook". I admire that song for different reasons and I put it in a completely different category. It is unique in that it not completely devoid of serious meaning in spite of it's playfulness. It is the only song I know of that sings about "heartache" and "pride" so upbeat. Songs cover the whole range of human nature- from zany playfullness to heart wrenching anguish. I wouldn't try to compare "The Rose" to "Wollie Bullie" or "Louie Louie" to "Starry Starry night" but they are all wonderful songs.

You are probably right, a perfect song cannot be defined but I have a top 25 list of what I think are perfect songs in a technical sense- in other words they are crafted so exquisitely, that they are breath-taking- not a line out of place- not a better way to say it. On this list you will find songs I don't even care for; but here are five "perfect songs" I do like:

The Rose
The Gambler
Both Sides now
City of New Orleans
Hallelujah (Lenard Cohen)

Weird, Sam!...had to jump in before I even read this thread because I've been marveling about this very song all week. I've been trying to write some country songs, and in doing random research on YouTube and lyrics sites I've come to realize that Willie Nelson is the best of them all, at least to me. (I'm purposely leaving out Hank Williams and the greats from 50 years back.) "You Were Always On My Mind" kept coming back to me with it's perfect structure and simplicity. I fully agree. "Crazy" is another obvious zinger, but so are his seemingly less serious songs, like "Hello Walls" with perfect, lean , mean imagery and a musicality that goes hand in hand with the words. Just a genius writer, and now I'll stop gabbing and read this excellent thread.

Tampa, that is a good observation. Willie does pose a question for the listener. He never addresses the listener but there is no way to hear this song without putting the "Maybe" to yourself to consider. It is just another one of those genius inspired crafts that the masters have- or it could be that honesty is inself "genius"

Richard, I wasn't aware of the Paxton song. Which one was written first?

Whoops...wikipedia tells me this song's music and lyrics are by Johnny Christopher, Mark James and Wayne Carson Thompson. Recorded first by Brenda Lee...Willie's and Elvis's versions came later.

To quote Johnny Carson, "I did not know that." :O

Looks like Paxton's was released in 1964 and Brenda Lee's version of this one in 1972.

Until I looked it up, I didn't know Willie Neslon didn't write "Always on my mind". Apparently it was written by Wayne Thompson, Mark James, and Johnny Christopher.

PS, Brian for some reason my last post disappeared into the cyber forest.

Anyway, I was trying to respond to Lyle. I too thought only Willie could write that song but appparently Elvis recorded it first. I would vote for "Angel flying too close to the ground" as one of my favorite Willie penned songs. Also for one that is a lot like "Always on my mind", it is hard to beat "Until I gain control again".

Sam,
you missed one for your short list - "Behind Closed Doors". I'd like to hear Josh Turner cover that one.

Another one that ought to get covered soon is "Gypsies Tramps and Thieves".

Great songs stand the test of time. Millions of songs have been written and recorded in our lifetimes yet we only remember a fraction. Today you don't hear too many real well written ones on the radio but "I Loved Her First" will surely be a classic.

When you think about it you can make a pretty long list of great ones.

John

Hi Sam,

I just wanted to thank you for sharing this. I love how you pop on the scene every so often w/a lyric that made it as a "hit" to show the lyric in printed form to us so that we may study/learn from it. Of course the melody carries so much weight. You could have the most beautiful, eloquent words and if the melody flops, the lyrics lose their luster. In the case above, it is a simple but special lyric w/the right melody, hence a hit. We have to remember that sometimes, often times, less is more!!!

Best,
Lynn

I agree with the comments on how great a lyric this is. While Willie was not the writer, it does share the emotional power and raw simplicity of many of his songs. Willie has written a great book entitled:"The Facts of Life & Other Dirty Jokes"

You can get it at:
http://www.amazon.com/Facts-Life-Other-Dirty-Jokes/dp/0375758607

It's one part autobiography, 1 part travelogue (he wrote it on the road), 1 part dirty jokes, and 1 part compendium of some of the greatest lyrics you have ever pored over!!!

For all who aspire to be better writers, I heartily commend it to you.

BTW, if you want to become a better rhymer, check out my site, www.WikiRhymer.com . Also, while you are there, check out the "Big News!!!" paragraph on the home page and add the Rhyme Search widget to your browser toolbar!!!

I had to re-write a lyrics that I wrote, that was a tribute to lyrisist in general, because I was crediting Willy with writing "always on my mind" when a JPF member pointed out to me that he did not write it - I was shocked - But it is a beautiful lyric, regardless who wrote it.

Hi Sam,
I really love this song as well. I even did a cover of it for my wife on our honeymoon in Niagra Falls. Simple and elegant. I have a preference for uncomplicated lyrics, especially in the "love song" variety.
I am not ashamed to admit that I tried to emulate the feel and simplicity of this song with one of mine.(below)
Good discuss,
Rick

Why'd you run (c) Rick Goggin 2003
V1
I gave you all I had,
but it was not enough.
You broke my heart,you threw it all away.
You ran from love.
V2
Why'd you make me cry?
How could you be so rough?
After all, I begged you not to leave,
but you ran from love.
Ch
Oh baby,
why'd you leave me?
Why deceive me?
Why'd you run from love?
Br
When the nights get lonely,
I try to think of things that I should have done,
still, you run.
V3
I loved you honestly.
I never gave you up.
Loving you meant more to me than life,
but you ran from love.
Ch
Oh baby,
why'd you leave me?
Why deceive me?
Why'd you run from love?
Why'd you run from love?

Ever Heard this Willie Nelson song,

We got it as a Demo years back when I was at E.M.I. HAYES
MIDDLESEX

“ JUST ANOTHER D DAY MAN “


verse one:
THE DAY WAS JUST FOUR HUNDRED METRES OLD

MY FINGERTIPS WERE HIDING FROM THE COLD

I FUMBLED FOR A POCKET

TO DRIVE AWAY THE CHILL

AND AS THAT HAND GOT WARMER

I FOUND TO MY DELIGHT

A FOLDED CRISPY TWENTY DOLLAR BILL

Verse 2:
I BROKE MY STRIDE TO CELEBRATING DANCE
THEN I REMEMBERED THIS AINT HOME IT’S NORTHERN FRANCE
GOT MY DEGREE AT COLBY COLLEGE
ABOUT A YEAR BEFORE.
SO I THOUGHT I’ll WALK THE ROUTES
MEN HAD TAKEN FROM THESE SHORES
STARTING D DAY BACK IN 1944.

Words and Music Willie Nelson
(c)Copyright 1964
All rights Reserved


I'm not allowed to show any more of this, dont think it was ever recorded on a major label.

Typicl Wille evoking emotion , not just telling it.

Sincerely Matt Stoneham

I agree Sam,I think its the simplicity of these lytics and many other Willy tunes like Crasy,that the listener can relate to.His songs stand the test of time.

Anne.