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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 29
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 29 |
Winter Woods
Whispers of ice fall upon my shoulders.
They speak of the heavens, then melt and run their liquid fingers down my back.
My breath leaves me in pillars of fog.
The solitude, the quiet.
I am humbled by this beauty that defies being captured by my net of words.
A sigh of sadness escapes me.
Who will miss this because they fail to take the time to truly live and see?
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,278
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,278 |
IM, I appreciate the overall tone of this, but am having trouble with the "whispers of ice" as well as it melting down his back. Jerks me out of the intended mood (appreciation of nature). Maybe it's just the global warming...34 degrees in Bama tonight!  (AND November is 5 degrees below average...)
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893 |
Hi Kim I think it was?
Sorry I didn't respond to this one earlier haven't been spending as much time on the creative writing section. This one ai totally get. The emotion in it is just raw and I really enjoyed that. doesn't require a lot of explanation in my opinion it captures what loneliness truly is. I sure hope your doing well and sorry I didn't comment on this one earlier hope to see you again and that you are well. It is Kim right?
Derek
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 29
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 29 |
IM, I appreciate the overall tone of this, but am having trouble with the "whispers of ice" as well as it melting down his back. Jerks me out of the intended mood (appreciation of nature). Maybe it's just the global warming...34 degrees in Bama tonight! (AND November is 5 degrees below average...) Hello Ben, I'm referring to snow flakes in this piece. They're so soft and gentle, as though they're cold whispers. Once they fall they melt. It is meant to be an appreciation of nature. I never intended to imply that the snow was unpleasant. I just love how the snow awakens the senses. Thank you both for reading.
If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
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