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Oh my dear Vanessa...

I have been away from the computer for several days and just got a note from Kaley to look for your post. Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your brother. There are absolutely NO words that can ease such a tragic loss but please know that you have a true support network of folks who love and care about the pain that you and your family are experiencing right now. Even when we know someone is right with the Lord, it doesn't fill that aching hole they leave in the lives of those of us left here on Earth. My love and prayers are with you and your family...that our Savior will ease your pain and help you soon feel the joy that is still around you.

Loving hugs,
Bobbie


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Love, prayers, & hugs to your family at this time.

Charlann

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Vanessa,
So sorry things turned out like this. Be strong for your sis and remind her they shall meet again. Love and prayers to your family...lost my 58 year old cousin to cancer this week, so I'm in a dearly departed mode myself... Moker

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Vanessa, It doesn't take much imagination on my part to put myself in your place. My sister lost her husband a few years ago and it was such a tradgedy because he was so young, a really sweet guy, a very fine musician- and he left Judi to raise their three kids under age 6. Judi and I sang at the funeral and I was barely keeping it together. When they played Lenny's favorite song, "Free bird", also one of mine, I lost it completely. I cannot listen to that song today without tearing up.

We will always miss Lenny but Judi recommited her life to Christ, met a wonderful man a couple of years later and they have a very prosperous and happy family. Her email address tells it all- IBAfool4christ@aol.com

I'm sorry for you and I know your sister is going to need you- not just today but a month or even a year from now when the reality of it really starts to haunt her. Be strong. I wish you had happier reasons to visit Texas.



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May all his beloved find comfort in knowing he is with the Lord. May they find strength and solace as they gather together to celebrate his life.
Amen.


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Dear V.... I am so sorry to hear that the accident took Dale's life......I will continue praying for your sister, kids and your family...gal. I was gone for Sabbath services for the day yesterday and we were out last night too...so didn't know He had died. Big hugs your way...hon.....

Big Hugs....
Kaley smile smile

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Hi Kaley, I just posted a lengthy post and my new notebook PC just lost it for me. Something about the sensitivity of the mouse. I'll try again.

Vanessa

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Hello to you all. What a wonderfully supportive and tenderhearted group of writers you all are. I'm so proud to know you all.

I'm at the airport in Birmingham right now after missing my flight early this morning (saved 500.00 by booking such an early flight) but since I didn't arrive within 30 minutes of departure like I was supposed to---they made arrangements for me to board a later flight. I'll be waiting around airports all day but I'm just so thankful to have gotten a flight today---that will arrive at my destination within a reasonable time this evening.

Might be this afternoon if I get on the earlier flight out of Dallas. But, I trust God to put me on the right one. Traveling these days will continue to remind me of a mild form of Russian Roullete. I know----cynical me. But, I trust God to call the shots.

Today's my neice's birthday. I still need to get her a birthday present. What do you give the adolescent girl who will stand at her Father's graveside in two days? I don't know. I just don't know. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.

My brother will pick me up at the airport in Longview. My other sister will arrive in Shreeveport this evening. It will be the first time we will all be together at one time since----I can't remember when actually. A very long time, maybe 16 years. Too bad it's for such a sad occasion. But, I'll still be glad to see them.

Yes, my sister will need me for a long time. She's the type who doesn't stop to communicate much beyond her local life/friends/contacts. I've had a hard time connecting with her across the miles over the past several years but I'll work a lot harder to be the stronger one now. Too bad it took this to convince me to work harder at that.

Thanks for sharing your own personal story Samuel. I appreciate that. Especially the part about how your sister met someone else. I won't mention that to my sister but it is good for me to hear that right now. It encourages me to hope for a brighter future for her and her sweet children. They are truly some of the sweetest kids you'd ever meet. So is my sister.

Thanks everyone. I'll post this and then go back and see whose post I didn't respond to yet. With this fickle notebook, flipping between pages generally gets you a lost post. So, I'll post this now and come back.

Love,

Vanessa

Friday October 26, 2007

ADDENDUM-----I don't want to bump this to the top since I should have posted it on the general board to begin with. But, I did want to thank all those who have posted so far. I'd wanted to post to each person an individual response even before I left for Texas. Just wasn't able to do it since my children were in a special program at church the Saturday before I left.

I'm back home now and have internet access again. The services were outstanding. My sister is going back to work Monday. She finds work comforting and it was just recently that she'd switched from the night shift in the ER (where she's spent most of her career) to a day shift job in the same hospital working as their Nurse Educator. She works primarily with patients who have diabetes (and their families) but will soon be working with woundcare families as well. It was perfect timing for her to have switched. I can't imagine working in the ER after having lost your husband to traumatic injuries.

He was an organ donor but they were only able to harvest such organs as skin and possibly corneas. His organs had all suffered from lack of oxygen too.



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Thank you Bobbie, Charlann, Kaley and Jean. Your kind and thoughtful words are greatly appreciated today.

Moker, I'm sorry you had to say goodbye to your cousin at such a young age. Cancer doesn't care how young its prey is. And it's such a viscious enemy. Thanks for sharing with me. And hugs/prayers for your family as they continue to heal and find comfort.

Love,
Vanessa

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Vanessa, I intended to post yesterday, but lost my connection.
I've been away from the board for a while and came back to read
your devastating news and the news about Alan's wife Helen. I'm so sorry to hear of your family's loss. I will keep you in my prayers. I know you will be a wonderful support for your sister and her family.

Diane


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I'm so sorry to hear the news. frown

Shelia


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A little late here, Vanessa, but my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family! I will pray that you will find peace and comfort in God's love.

Mary Lou

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Vanessa, you and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you got there safely and I am sorry you missed your flight. Glad to know they were accomodating to you, though.


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Dear Vanessa,

I'm so sorry I hadn't read about the dire turn of events until just now. What a terrible shame and heartache for your family. May the memories of the happy times you spent together offer you some comfort during the days ahead...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you...

Beth


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HI Li'l Sis! Sorry I got here late, but just wanted to know I share Your Sorrow.

There are times when death is More Merciful than Life, & we just gotta leave that Decision up to The Deity.

Sounds like he was a pretty Special Person in This Life..so he should have a Fine Time of it in The Next...JMO.

All I can add are My Sympathies to You & Your Family.
BB Hugs,
Stan

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Vanessa,

Healing starts with greving and being strong for your sister in her tragic time of need is a must. But don't forget to shed your tears as well for it is the Lords way of cleasing the pain from the soul. In doing so it allows you both to continue on, remembering the best and knowing he is now in the best of hands as are both of you. May the good Lords look down up you both and forever bless you!

Love & Sunshine,

Teddie & Robin Cochran

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http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=552677&page=1#Post552677

The above link is where I had moved this thread. At the time it seemed like a good idea. Now I wonder if it came across as rude. Wasn't sure what to do since I had been reminded there are some who feel these type posts dilute the purpose of this board.

Since it's Sunday and there's usually less traffic here, I want to thank each poster personally for their kindness.

It will be easier to complete that here on the original thread. Also, those who posted will be most likely to see a response here. Please forgive me for not knowing exactly what to do at the time that concern was brought to my attention.

Vanessa

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Thanks Janice, Herbie and Calvin. smile

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Thank you John, Beth and rittman.

Vanessa

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Thank you Lynn, TampaStan, and Tricia.

Vanessa

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Thank you Moker, Derek and Mike.

Vanessa

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Thank you Emily, Sheila, and Tony.

Vanessa

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Thank you Charlann and Skip.


Thank you Elizabeth. I tried to get internet access on my trip. But DFW is a strange place. You have to use TMobile. It took me all day (I had a long layover) to finally get internet access with the help of a little shop there. Then it was so late that I ended up missing my flight. I had wanted to download yours and Bobbie's song as well as John's song for my sister. I'll do that now that I've combed back through and reminded myself of your very thoughtful gift.

Thanks again,
Vanessa

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Thank you Linda, Lynn and Alan.

Vanessa

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Thank you Scott, John Selleck, and Joice Marie.

Vanessa

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Thank you Bobbie, Samuel and Jean B.

Vanessa

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Vannessa,

I am sorry for your loss. You mentioned organ donations. My family knows (and it is on my license) that this is the use I wish made of my remains, if I were to die suddenly. Take everything anybody can be helped with directly, then cremate the rest.

In a church I pastored in Oildale, California, I had a 20 year old who ended up having to have a heart transplant. His old organ was the size of a basketball by the time they finally got him a doner heart--the worst case in Cedar/Siani Medical Center's transplant history where someone actually survived. I learned that they had helped up to 42 people either retain life, or increase its quality through organ donations of a single individual in the past. So I'm on the list. Hope they can part me out properly, should it come to that. That seems to me to make some practical use and provide a level of meaning and comfort at the time of sudden death.

A while back, Judi came home and told me something she had seen on a tabloid at the grocery store. The title blared that some woman had parted out her deceased husband's remains for cash on the Internet. I told her I thought that was a brilliant idea, and that she should do the same with me, if I were to die, of course! I even wrote a tongue in cheek piece with the hook/title "She Wants to Sell My Body on the Internet". I've lost it, along with a good many hundreds of other lyrics, in all the moves and computer crashes, etc, since. Probably this was no great loss to the human race or lyric writing in general. Still, if she could, I would not object. Free is okay, too.

Skip

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Vannessa,

I am sorry for your loss. You mentioned organ donations. My family knows (and it is on my license) that this is the use I wish made of my remains, if I were to die suddenly. Take everything anybody can be helped with directly, then cremate the rest.

In a church I pastored in Oildale, California, I had a 20 year old who ended up having to have a heart transplant. His old organ was the size of a basketball by the time they finally got him a doner heart--the worst case in Cedar/Siani Medical Center's transplant history where someone actually survived. I learned that they had helped up to 42 people either retain life, or increase its quality through organ donations of a single individual in the past. So I'm on the list. Hope they can part me out properly, should it come to that. That seems to me to make some practical use and provide a level of meaning and comfort at the time of sudden death. (Be careful who you give my brain to, however. That could be dangerous.)

A while back, Judi came home and told me something she had seen on a tabloid at the grocery store. The title blared that some woman had parted out her deceased husband's remains for cash on the Internet. I told her I thought that was a brilliant idea, and that she should do the same with me--if I were to die, of course! I even wrote a tongue in cheek piece with the hook/title "She Wants to Sell My Body on the Internet". I've lost it, along with a good many hundreds of other lyrics, in all the moves and computer crashes, etc, since. Probably this was no great loss to the human race or lyric writing in general. Still, if she could, I would not object. Parting me out for free is okay, too.

Skip

Last edited by Skip Johnson; 11/04/07 09:08 AM.
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Thank you Kaley, Diane, and Sheila.

Vanessa

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Thank you Mary Lou, Tricia and Beth.

Vanessa

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Thanks TampaStan and Teddie.

Teddie I'm sorry to hear of your recent loss. I tried to post on your thread over on the general board and my computer malfunctioned losing my post when I entered it. I'll look for your thread again today.

Vanessa

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Hi Pastor Skip.

My own dear grandfather received a cornea transplant from a young man who'd died in a motorcycle crash (if I'm remembering correctly). My grandfather was so proud of that donation he'd received. Unfortunately, he suffered a mild stroke following the procedure which caused blindness to the very eye which had been restored. What troubled me was the reason he even required a cornea transplant to begin with was the fact he had developed a condition where the lashes turn inward (lower lashes in the corner). That irritated his cornea to the point it began to break down with an 'ulcer'.

I was living with them at the time and finally convinced him to go to the doctor. He stayed away from them as a rule. By the time he went it was too late. Have always wished I'd done more to get him to go sooner---even been more observant myself. We all thought he had a piece of steel shaving in his eye since that was his usual ailment. I guess he'd always gotten those out on his own.

Back to organ donation. Yes, I'm an organ donor too. Good thing they don't transplant brains.

Vanessa

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Vanessa,

I am actually already a long time organ donor. Blood is one of those "renewable resource" organs. Before I was four years old, I had already gone through five major surgeries for a rare congenital kidney condition. They used over 20 units of blood to keep me alive.

Once I became an adult, I began giving blood at every opportunity from my early college years onward. As I am, and always have been, entirely monogamous, with an equally monogamous wife, my blood is a great deal safer than that of many in the general population who need it. Right now, I've got a lingering cough from too many 16 hour days in a row in all temperatures with hands on work with hundreds at Topsfield Fair with the health van. So I may have to call and cancel the platelet donation I had intended to go in for at the Red Cross in Boston this coming Monday. Don't want to make anyone sick trying to help them.

Blood, and its component parts, is an organ that there is an ongoing need for in most places. It can actually be healthy to give it, if you don't give too much all at once. Particularly if you have good health practices and diet to support this. It is a stress the body can bounce back from--like a ten mile run.

Skip

Last edited by Skip Johnson; 11/04/07 09:36 AM.
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,192
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Joined: Nov 2005
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Hi Pastor Skip,

Wow! I'm glad they were able to save you. Twenty units of blood is serious business. Especially considering you weren't four yet. Also, it's good that you weren't born any later in your generation. Soon after those days blood was NOT safe on a large scale. When I had to have back surgery back in 1985, my surgeon, being the brilliant, informed preventive doctor that he was (Dr. Evans from Mississippi) would NOT give me any blood even though I really could have used some. He told me right after I'd fainted twice (after the surgery) that my hemoglobin was quite low but he'd rather my own body build up my blood. I didn't have to ask since we'd learned about AIDS in nursing school. At the time there was no way to test for it as I recall.

I have a friend from back in Birmingham. She's married and moved to Florida now. But she and her fiance' at the time were involved in a car accident which her fiance didn't survive. She had to have a blood transfusion for her non-fatal injuries. Many years later, with her first baby it was discovered her blood was trying to destroy her baby. It wasn't the classic situation where they can give the injection to prevent the "blue-baby" syndrome (can't remember all the medical terms right now). It had nothing to do with her RH factor. It's some new factor. Anyway, she had to have a lot of medical supervision and bedrest. I can't remember what they did to help her. But, in the end her baby DID survive and is healthy today. Of course several churches were joining together to lift them both up in prayer.

I used to give blood when I was in college. Then I developed mitral valve prolapse due to the polycystic ovaries (didn't know the connection back then, but PCOS is a systemic, endocrine disorder which causes a host of junk). When the donor program learned of the MVP, they stopped accepting my blood. Now, I've recovered from MVP, by God's grace through the use of natural remedies. I've learned to treat polycystic ovaries through herbs and diet. Well, I had always been on the best diet it turns out (vegetarian). In fact it was my vegetarian diet that always kept the doctors confused. See they just knew that noone could have the diagnosis and be slender. Now, they realize that a few patients actually are and they label them skinny pcos patients. Some treat them with the same medications they treat insulin resistance (metformin and such). I'm not convinced. Neither was my endocrinologist back in Birmingham. She said "I can look at you and tell you aren't insulin resistant!" I wasn't.

She nor any other doctor knew how to treat someone like me (who has some of the symptoms but not the obesity). I'm learning after years of study. It's herbs like Vitex and Milk Thistle. They help heal the diseased organ so that it can function reasonably well on its own. And recently, I'd run out of these herbs. It's not recommended that you take them continuously so I just put myself on a break from them. There's no doctor around here who understands the treatment modality I use, though it's well documented in probably hundreds of books by reputable medical leaders. Ha! What a state the medical doctors are in these days.

Used to I didn't have the confidence to do what the Naturalists recommended. But, after cross-referencing numerous publications authored by all sorts of disciplines ranging from Medical doctors, Naturopaths, Chiropractors, Physical Therapists, Chinese Herbalists, and orthopedic surgeons/neurologists----I've come to the conclusion my prayerfully researched plan of action far exceeds the pharmaceutical propaganda being pushed by the average doctor on the corner.

Thankfully, I've found one woman doctor here who believes in the use of herbs and natural progesterone. She is treating me now for a GI situation that has me going through a setback. I'd been taking ibuprophen (an-over-the counter medicine---yes) because it was the only anti-anflammatory I knew to take. Doctors, even those leaning toward alternative medicine, know that chronic inflammation is NOT good for you. For years, I just sucked it up and went on but recent disc degeneration (due to the stress and strain of having had a fusion for so long) has brought on almost more pain than I can tolerate to drive a car sometimes.

Unfortunately, ibuprophen has several ugly side-effects. I've had to stop it entirely for now and will probably find something else to permanently replace the stuff. I've really not had THAT much of it to be honest. But, what I did take has gotten me in trouble. Yesterday, I learned that fresh grated ginger made into a tea can treat most inflammation very well. I'm experimenting with it right now. Not sure if your wife deals with inflammatory type pain but if she does, I thought you might want to hear about this. I'll let you know how it goes. Exercise helps too and I hadn't been getting enough of that either. So, it will be a multi-disciplinary approach I follow as usual. The body is a whole rather than separate components. When the Bible says the head suffers when the little finger suffers, that's exactly what it means. (Ok, I may have forgotten---is it the hand or little finger? <g>

You'd asked me about where I teach. I taught at a Baptist Christian School up until last week. But,I had to resign due to not being able to drive the distance two times a day plus carry all my books around (even in the pull/push cart I use). They didn't have enough classrooms so I had to load up all my textbooks and test key books and take them to the gymnasium coach's office while the computer teacher used 'my classroom'. The coach has her own classroom AND an office. But their science department operated out of the library (something the accrediting body said was not acceptable. I quickly learned where their priorities had been. And I was NOT in a position to bail them out of their dire situation. They've operated for some years WITHOUT even a gram scale to teach chemistry with. The stress of having to order enough supplies to teach labs out of the library (no running water or drain---let alone no exhaust hoods) sent my stress level soaring. The funeral was just the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.

They wanted me to recover and come back but I knew what was causing my back pain to worsen. I couldn't bring myself to say what someone needs to tell them. They had been desperate for a warm body to 'teach' science immdiately--that's why they practically dragged me off the street. See the accrediting body was coming to evaluate them for the first time ever and they had no science teacher even though it was five weeks into the school year. Hopefully, they have found someone with a lot more stamina than me (two college students had applied right after they hired me---they just knew I was their answer to prayer). I think God used the experience to teach me a lesson (see last week's Sabbath School lesson. Sometimes he asks us to do something he never expects us to complete for the purpose of teaching us something important.

If so---Lesson learned. Now, I'm going to find my next job with the help of Vocational Rehabilitation. I've already contacted them and they are setting up a meeting with me. They'll coach me and help me look at all my options. They may even help me get my state certification (for ELEMENTARY education since that's what my degree is in) I wasn't been able to get that due to the university's misinterpretation of the laws when I was teaching before. Although I'd been teaching in a fully accredited private school run by the Seventh-day-Adventists, the University (where I took night classes) told me the state had passed a law prohibiting student teaching being done in a private church school setting (they'd just told me the year before that it would be fine to accept the teaching position and they would work with me when it came time for my student teaching). THey now admit the then new law actually stated "no Non-acredited church school. The chairperson at the time had assumed that because "Catholic schools are not accredited, other church schools would not be either." That's what I was told during my last conversation a few months ago.

Because I didnt' quit my job (mid-year) when it was time for me to take my 'student teaching class' (which required availability to student teach every day for a full nine weeks in the public school), I didn't receive my degree or certification. My superintendent at the time offered to drive with me to Southern College of SDA's to see what could be done through our University. I was not able to make that trip at the time for some reason. And last year Gra.cie Cul.pepper from the Union office in Georgia sat across from me during a luncheon and offered to go over my transcript to see what could be done. She has the authority to override certain requirements. But, I didn't send her my transcript. (too bad---maybe I still could). It will still require a change in curriculum requirements no matter what I do. It's all changed since I entered the master's degree program for education back in 1998. But, who knows what God had in store. I should have followed up on that. I'm not employable by the Seventh-day Adventist School system until I'm certified though. But that's a good thing.

I'm very hopeful for the future. I may go to school in the evenings to work on something in the education field or pursue an entirely different field (according to the assistant attorney general who spoke with me on the hotline for Americans with disabilities). He said I was an excellent candidate for their services.

Oops, I think you asked about my job on another thread. Hope you see this. I'll try to put a note on the other thread directing you to this one.

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