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Why Is A Lemon?
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To find why is a lemon
Rhetorically I ask
Will seedless cantaloupe
Slide through an hour glass

While chicken cacciatore
Was Chicken Little's bane
Van Gogh snacked on pig ears
More oily than his paint

Apple cores in Baltimore
Chicagoans at night
Little Orphan Annie
With Toto by her side

A cherry topped the sundae
With chopped nuts all around
Fig Newton pondered gravity
An apple hit the the ground

Destined to be banished
Napoleon ate baby llamas
Not part of French cuisine today
But neither is Osama

JFK liked Cracker Jack
And fresh Cuban cigars
While Theodore loved Baby Ruth
Produced somewhere on Mars

Pineapple rings were rolling
Around the castle moat
The tangerine took ten days off
Content to lounge and float

Of bread sliced into equal halves
To feed the hungry mass
Three fish converted to Islam
Unequal to the task

The kernels turned to popping corn
When Elvis' agent died
Fortune cookies spread the news
On papers wrapped inside

The coconutty salad
With yogurt in the cream
Came from a hidden valley
Where the giant wasn't green

The fly was in the parlor
While the spider weaved its web
The scarecrows ate the maize
While the zombies ate the dead

Robert had some Frosty Flakes
One snowy evening in the woods
When Poe walked in and spoke to him
On ravens killed by Robin Hood

Foreclosure on a peanut farm
Frightened Peter Pan
Wendy promised Tinkerbell
She'd repossess the land

Bananas grew for dinosaurs
Ten thousand to a bunch
Jack Kellogg threw his life away
Re-inventing lunch

Turnips, squash and sweet snow peas
In Lucy's vita-vegamin
You ask "Why is a lemon?"
Because it cannot swim

"Aha," you say, "but lemons float"
The same as tangerines
But bobbing with no rudder
Will lead to endless seas
And lemonade needs sugar
Not salt and tangled weeds
The answer once again, my friend
Because a lemon cannot swim


(If you made it this far, some men in white coats will be paying you a visit momentarily)

Hi Ben,

Well, I don't hear a knock on the door, but if they do show up, I hope they bring me one of those white coats with the really long sleeves. Such a fashion statement.

Are you saying the question, "Why?" is a lemon?

Free falling thoughts. Reminds me of Alice in Wonderland.

Fun poem I seem to recall that Little Orphan Annie was a girl though. :o Still I like it a lot.

Hey, what fun.. I love it- the beginning seemed a little rough but I am sure I didn't get the flow at first, I love the whimsy..oh, I didn't hear a knock either, but I many in my life, when asked "what colors for "the coat"? They automatically answer, "forest green with eggplant purple straps" - I am prepared! Thanks, anne

Brilliant!

Vondelle,

I first heard the joke ("Why is a lemon? Coz it can't swim.) when I was 7 or 8. Since it was told by one of my older brother's friends, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I happened to think of it after all those years and proceeded to extemporize what you see here. Thanks.

Tobias,
Sure, Annie was a dirl...and TYoto belonged to Dorothy, but such is the world through the looking glass.
Thanks.


Anne,
"They automatically answer, "forest green with eggplant purple straps"...as they say on Family Feuid, Great answer! Thanks.

Lyrical one,
You sure we're looking at the same piece, my dear. Brilliant??? Well, what the hey, sounds dang good to me.

Thanks all,
Ben

Hi Ben

I really did like this one I just wasn't sure of one thing. I heard you say this is a joke. I must be tired or blonde cause i'm not getting it. Why is a lemon cause it cannot swim I think I am missing something. Throw me line here? for I sink!

Ben,
You have Way Too Much Time On Your Hands!

"The fly was in the parlor
While the spider weaved its web
The scarecrows ate the maize
While the zombies ate the dead"

Sounds a lot like this excerpt from a nursery rhyme or children's poem that my Mom used to quote often,

"Welcome to my parlor, said the spider to the fly"

This one is quite cool.....

Derek,
It's one of those deals that if ya gots to 'splain it...it don't work. Thanks

Alas, not any more, Ray.


Good timing, Snake. I can use that verse as a quick example for Derek.
U R right, it is a take-off on that childhood rhyme, as are most of the verses (not necessarily nursery rhymes, but take-offs).
The second part is simple irony...
The scarecrows (who are meant to protect corn...or maize) are eating it.
Thanks all
Ben
PS Green Giant & Hidden Valley are 2 different brands, etcetera etcetera

Ben,
Quite a good piece here. I think you should submit it somewhere!
Try Poet's Market. It'll only cost you a few stamps to send it places and see what happens.

There are a few spots where, if you read it aloud, a syllable here and there could be tweaked a little, but it's a pretty neat poem.

I had to come read it because my oldest son asked me THE craziest little-kid question EVER when he was 3 years old. "Why is a squirrel?"

I could never answer that one. Now that he's 16 he still can't explain what he wanted to know. He *may* have wanted to say "why is a squirrel's tail bushy?" and not had the words--he was a late speaker.

Anyway, it's one of our family jokes. Only it has no punchline.

Linda

Cute story, Linda.

I might try that, though right now, I'm busy trying to get an ear for that long story I wrote.
Thanks...ben

PS Why is a squirrel cute and a rat repulsive might be the ? (tail & short forelegs....)

Tis quite cute and well written, Ben Burton.....and good to see you about!!...

very much enjoyed the read....

hugs...and take good care,
Kaley

Hi Ben.
This was either very well thought out...
Or another of Alice's dreams.
In any case, it kept you busy for a bit, didn't it?

Hi Kaley, thanks. (I try to kept a pace as steady as this board, thus the slow response! Nice to see your smiling face.

Thanks, Ben


Hey Marl,

It was as well thought out as one could hope for in an hour...so it's likely another of Alice's dreams.

Thanks, hon. Ben