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Joined: Aug 2007
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Denial © January 2006 A. MacMaster
I have a chunk in my gut.
Coal I think.
It burns when you least expect it, slowly cooking me from the inside out.
To the rest of the world, I appear normal, run of the mill wife and mom.
Inside it is dark, not cold though.
Moving, burning, gathering size as it goes.
It makes me sick.
I want to throw up...
but that would give it away.
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" Kathrine Hepburn
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,668 Likes: 42
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Ouch. That short, bitter hammer hits a thumb.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Gary, I appreciate your feedback as I am new to the written word as expression and/or observation of human nature. This forum has been a wonderfull experience (in my few days of access) and I treasure the feedback. I write but the technical pieces are always a struggle- again thank you! Anne
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" Kathrine Hepburn
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 227
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anne i think this is my favorite so far. i can picture that chunk of coal growing and seething...nicely done. thank you for sharing and i hope this finds you well
nick
p.s. sorry i didnt say it sooner but a big welcome to the boards. JPF is a friendly and safe place to share creative thoughts...so again, welcome!
Last edited by Nicholaus Billings; 08/08/07 02:06 PM.
If you give them the tools, you give them a chance. ngb
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Nick, thanks for the welcome and the help and feedback- you are right, I am finding that this is a friendly place to explore. hope this finds you well, anne
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" Kathrine Hepburn
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,867
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Anne, You express yourself very well. If I were able to see what lies beyond the burning coal, I would most likely perceive a blaze of creative fire much larger than the coal could ever hope to be. You have obvious talent. Take care.
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Heidi, Thanks so much for your feedback. This is a pretty new format for me and putting it out there has been somewhat of an opening of the flood gates. This site and all of the kind, wonderful people who have expertise to offer has made me more confident and willing to explore more. I am touched by the experience thus far. Thanks again, anne
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" Kathrine Hepburn
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 66
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Anne,
I know denial, all too well, and you've captured it's likeness perfectly. And I love the clever ending it's smart and dry... well done.
Keep the flood gates open,
Dog
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Dog, thank you for your kind words. I find that denial is something that we face daily but sometimes we can't regognize it right away. Again thanks, anne
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" Kathrine Hepburn
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 57
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Anne
Denial is the unwillingness to admit or see the truth. But refusal to acknowledge something will not make that something magically disappear. It remains and executes its power over us behind our backs as it were, till it burns us up like a coal of fire within our soul. I think this is what you are trying to express in your poem, correct me if I'm wrong.
Sometimes when we look inside ourselves, we come to acknowledge certain things about ourselves that we would rather not know. But to face the truth about ourselves is the essential step taken in freeing ourselves to be the person we really are.
Josh
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Josh, welcome and thanks for your words- right now my writing is an expression of aknowledgement of those things- you had it right. I am newer to this process and it has opened many doors- I can only encourage more people to do this. Thanks again - hope to see some of your work here. Take Care, anne
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" Kathrine Hepburn
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I rather liked it really. Perhaps you need a cup of "Instant Smile" sorry that is a Twilight Zone reference.
"There are no such things as coincidence or chance, everything happens for a reason, though we may not know why at the time it happens." Be sure to check out my new online store. http://www.zazzle.com/tbw_designs
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Thanks for the feedback- I used to watch the Twilight Zone and creep myself out! what a memory...thanks- I look forward to more of your writing as well. Take care, anne
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" Kathrine Hepburn
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,246
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Very eloquent little piece you have here.....
I still wonder exactly what it is that you're trying so hard to conceal, but I can see that it does require a major effort to do that....
I might ask of you.........Is it really worth all that?
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Snake, I think at the time I wanted to conceal my emotional unrest. I feel that I have been able to move beyond that single experience and am working on not letting the behavior re-surface. All is well for now and I am becoming more conscious of who and where I am and where I want to be. And, no- it never seems worth all that... Thanks, Snake, you rock..,Anne
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" Kathrine Hepburn
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