JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 Whisper Softly In My Ear

I read a story on the Internet a little earlier that prompted me to write this. So, I cannot take credit for the story...just the way I put it together. This is very fresh ink...less than 30 minutes from the time I wrote the first word. Tried to post this a few minutes ago...but it didn't post. Oh well!! Thanks for looking.

Whisper Softly In My Ear

© 2007 Alan D. David, BMI
All Rights Reserved

(v1)
Won’t you come and lie with me, down here on the floor
Stretch out by the sofa, just beyond the door
Look into my dark brown eyes, you don’t have to say a word
For only fifteen minutes, if that’s all you can afford

(v2)
You and I the best of friends, for nearly all my life
Loyal and devoted, through the darkness and the light
I’ve always been beside you, I cherish all your love
You and I for all these years, a gift from up above

(Chorus)
Whisper softly in my ear
You know the things I like to hear
Whisper softly in my ear
As our hearts beat oh so near

(v3)
Sometimes you run right past me, so many things to do
But I love you anyway, just because you’re you
The years have gone too quickly, so many things I’d like to say
Hair once dark as midnight, now gently showing gray

(v4)
Just give me fifteen minutes, I won’t ask for any more
A moment of attention, will make my heartstrings soar
Not sure when I’ll be leaving, the future is a fog
It’s been my life-long pleasure, to be your faithful dog

Oh Alan,

This lyric made me cry. I TOTALLY relate to this one and when I hit the last two lines, I broke down. My faithful dog's name is Jasmine. She's part Cocker Spaniel, part poodle and part Pommeranian - Cockapomapoo. I've had her since she was 6 weeks old and she was pitch black, black as midnight. She was so tiny, she fit in my shirt pocket as a puppy.

On January 2nd, she turned 14 years old. Her once black face is slowly turning white. I know her time is limited and I think she is going blind. She used to know exactly where I was at all times, but now she has to slowly "sniff" my footsteps to find me. Every night she lies beside me on the couch and snuggles close to my heart. That's where she will be for the rest of time.

I refuse to nit anything in this lyric - it's difficult enough to reply through the mist in my eyes. For me, this is absolutely perfect!


Cindy

Sometimes you run right past me, so many things to do
But I KNOW YOU LOVE ME, just because you’re you
Years have gone TOO quickly, NEVER ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY
JUST TO HEAR THE WORDS I LOVE YOU IS ALL YOU NEED TO SAY

(v4)
Just give me fifteen minutes, I won’t ask for any more
A moment of attention, will make my heartstrings soar
Not sure when I’ll be leaving, the future is a BLUR
It’s been my life-long pleasure, to HAVE YOU AS MY GIRL

Or, something like that. I wouldn't go there with the gray hair cause it detracts rather than adds to, IMHO.

Hi Tricia,

Thanks for looking and for the suggestions. Hope you will forgive me, but I'm probably going to think a little more about your suggestions before making a final decision.

Although the story per se is from an article that I read, there is a lot of personal emotion in this one. We have a black with tan points cocker who has faithfully been by Helen's side since she got sick 8 years ago. These words describe Tizzi to a tee. The once coal black hair on her face is now 20% gray. I am certainly open to suggestions, but the particular parts you mentioned are the ones that are near and dear to Helen. But thank you for putting the time and thoughtfulness into your reply. I rarely bow out on your suggestions, but I might this time. Luv ya anyway, though! And, BTW, your new post is nothing shy of terrific....simplicity at its best!

Alan

Hi Alan

Guessed straight out it was about a dog, though the whisper thing is kinda like cheating to throw folks off, but I'll forgive you. Had pets all my life, around 20 years ago I lost three within a 2 month period, and I swore off pets, till Joyce insisted we have a pet, which has turned into two cats, they're 2 and 4, so my best guess is we'll age together!

Ritt,

Appreciate the forgiveness. But, is it cheating? Not so sure. Misleading by design, though!

We also have a 20 month old cocker who is black and white with TWO blue eyes. we got her from an abusive family situation. Still working hard to socilaize her. Steps are slow but steadily improving. We also have a Torty cat. She owns the house! She lets the rest of stay. Sorry to hear about your sad turn of events with your dogs in such a brief period. Take care!

Alan

AHHH!

Very well done. (Knew it was a dog almost from the start.)

Thanks for sharing.

Douglas

Hey Alan,
Very nice, moving. However I have to nit one line:

"Hair once dark as midnight, shows evidence of gray"

It reads like a coroner's report, "evidence". Maybe you could say:
Hair once dark as midnight, 'highlighted' now with gray.
It just seemed a little cold to use the word evidence.
Great one,
Rick

Rick,

Hi! Thanks for looking in and commenting. Glad ya liked it. That is one of the few words I wasn't real sure about when I posted it. My thought was it sounded too "sterile"...pretty much what you said. How about this:

"Hair once dark as midnight, now gently showing gray"

Work any better? Let me know! Thanks

Alan

Hi TINK!

Wow, some strange things happening here at JPF from my side of the puter. I had replied to you reply and it was up. When I came back a few minutes later...it's gone! Also, been having some real strnage things happening over int he Shout Box as well.

No apolgies for making you cry. It warms my heart that it did. Sounds like your Jasmine is much like our Tizzi. Since Helken has been sick, over 8 years now, Tizzi ia always at her side when Helen is not doing well. She sits next to Helen on the couch and puts her left front paw on top of Helen's right thigh and looks up at her with those big brown eyes as thought to say..."It's okay, Mom. I'm right here. I love you."

I am so delighted that this touched you as it did. Here's hoping the very best for Jasmine...and her "Mom". Thanks so much for your heart-felt reply. That's one reason I luv ya...you're such a sweet and caring person. It may soiund silly to some, but I'll put a request for Jasmine's well-being in a prayer tonight. Later,

Alan

Doug,

Went right past ya...sorry! Appreciate the kind words...even though it was obvious from the start, for you. Thanks!

Alan

Hi, Alan,

I LOVE this

Dogs are amazingly sensitive to the needs of their owners - it seems only fitting to honor them in this way.

My 6 year old Beagle, Cleo, is always willing to give love and affection. Sounds like you have an awesome dog...How lucky Helen is to have that companionship and comfort

I agree that the word "evidence" should be changed. Other than that...I have no other nits.

lovely lyric!

Emily

Emily,

Thank you so much for your sweet and kind words. Glad you like this. Sounds like Cleo is quite a pooch, too!

I have changed that line. It now reads:

"Hair once dark as midnight, now gently showing gray"

Like that any better? Thanks again for the visit, kind words, and keen observation.

Alan

Hi Alan,
I was trying to think of a word that would fit with "(blank) now with gray.". I thought of 'peppered', 'shot through', 'sprinkled', 'tinted', I was trying to 'express sad but noble' but not connecting anything with that sentiment. We lost 'Blackie' last year at 16. My son, 17, grew up with him. So I'm relating.
" gently showing " is better than "evidence" which was too sterile a term.
Rick

Rick,

Really sorry to hear about Blackie. But 16 years is a long tinme with a dog. I am happy you had that much time with him. Hope your son has come to terms with his loss.

If you, I, or anybodey else, finds something better than "gently showing", I'm open to it. thanks so much for coming back and giving it another look. I always appreciate your keen observations in your critiques.

Alan

Hi Alan,

Well ! . . . definitely put together well and well worth putting together.
Brought back memories of lying with my head on my dog!

Cheers,
Terry

Hi ALan,

Good work.
I happen to like this line a lot...
But I love you anyway, just because you’re you


Have a good day.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

I like the lyric...except for the Chorus. Something about whispering in a dog's ear sounds..well...weird. I've never done that so maybe it's just me.

In any case, good luck with it.

Alan,
nicely done, there are not many broader audience scopes than people who appreciate dogs...good luck with it, the tag at the end is actually my favorite line...Moker

Hey Mr. Alan! I'm amazed with anyone who can write a song in 15 minutes and it flow as nicely as this one.

There were two cd's as I recall that compiled various songs about dogs. I believe it was a posting on JPF. Well, A friend of mine has a very nice song too and I was hoping that a third cd was being developed but I found that it is not. Just food for thought!

I've had a dog and cat that I was close too. I sure wish that I took the last 15 minutes to do what this song urges us to do! This is beautiful! Good Day, Linda

p.s. "now I'm brushing black with gray"? I understand the concerns with whispering in your dogs ear but before I knew you were talking about a dog, I found it to be okay of course. Now that I know it's a dying dog, I can still relate that the whispering is to soothe the suffering dear dog that we painfully love.


p.s. I guess I musta got lost on this lyric. Now I see the dog is singing to it's master(so to speak). So brushing hair is not okay. But "now with wisdom showing gray" might work better! Sorry I misinterpreted it. L

Terry,

Thank you for the most ikind words. Glad it brought back a pleasant memory for you. As the old saying goes...and it is so true...you can steal everything I own, but you can't take memories.

Alan

Calvin,

Always appreciate it when you drop in. You are one of my favorite visitors. And glad you like that line...I kinda like it, too! Thanks, Calvin. Hope the rest of your weekend goes nicely.

Alan

Shayne,

Good morning! Hope all is well with you. My ex-wife is from KY...Owensboro.

Glad you liked what I had to say. Regarding the chorus, this is what Ihave concluded...could be wrong though, it's not a scientific study with an established margin of error! If the dog in question is an outside dog, hunting/working dog, the owners probably would not be whispering in the dogs' ears. However, if it is a companion dog, house dog, loveable pet dog, there's a good chance that its owner will whisper in its ear. My wife constantly whispers in Tizzi's ear. Tizzi seems to enjoy it, as does Helen. Same holds true with my neighbor and her dog.

But, glad you liked it overall, anyway. Appreciate you dropping in for a visit. It's always a big pleasure.

Alan

Moker,

Thanks so much for stopping in to look and read. Appreciate your very kind comments. And you are right...the dog lovers are a huge constituency of readers/listeners.

The song was written about a stroy I rfead on the Internet yesterday. An elderly woman was realizing that her long time companion was wiuld soon be passing on. She was refelcting on the years she had had with him and regretting that she had not taken more time to simply give him more attention from time to time. She began whispoering in his ear as his hearing was fading. that was the only way she could get a response from him talking to him. That was the genesis of the song. I lightly embellished with observations of mine and my wife's interactions with iur 2 dogs.

Thanks so much for the kind review!

Alan

Alan, this is just so sweet and well done.
If we had a dog, I'd probably be in tears right
now! Perfect as is!!!

Diane

Made me cry too......and once I got past my tears...
LOVED IT.... I'm wondering... about the 3rd line running into the 4th...( content/thought wise ).... Seems like the follow up line would be more like... (just an idea...not a good line)
but..the dog's thinking.."but now I'm content remembering
all the times we played" ...I love the line hair once dark as midnight, now gently showing gray.... cause that's so true...
but does it follow the thought process there?..

The years have gone too quickly, so many things I’d like to say
Hair once dark as midnight, now gently showing gray

Also wondered if it would make it more endearing to put...in
a # to the years...In one of those 2 spots...? Alan.

I love these pet songs... Alan...Good writing.

hugs...
Kaley.....

That's alright Alan. A lot pass me by (Place Tear Drop Here).

Quote Eeyore. "Thanks for noticing me.:

Douglas

Alan,

I'll be the one to admit...I didn't see the doggie twist coming. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that one of my best friends is a guy and I could have easily seen the scenario being between two friends...so...there...i have an excuse.

Regardless of my inability to predict the twist...this is beautiful. I recall you mentioning the other day that you hadn't written anything in a while and I must say....must be like riding a bike. You wrote this splendidly!!!


Bree

Linda,

Thanks for the visit. Glad ya liked it. Actually, I have written several songs (6 or 8 maybe?) in 30 minutes or less. All but two of them have turned out okay.

And you got it figured out...the dog is "talking/singing" to his owner. Really glad you like it. I'm a bit partial to it, myself! I'm still thinking about that "gray" line. We'll see what happens! Thanks again. Have a really good evening.

Alan

Diane,

Well now...aren't you sweet! So pleased that you've taken a liking to this one. Thanks so much for looking and then giving me your much too kind thoughts. Good night!

Alan

Bree,

No excuses needed! I'm happy as heck that you like the doggone thing! And thank you for your very generous and kind words. I'm going to post another either late tonight or tomorrow. But, it's need of a lot of help...more so than this one. Knowing you, you will probably have every suggestion I need to bring it around. I'll be waiting to hear from you!

Alan