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#457536 12/23/06 10:32 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
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The Wrong Side Of Goodbye
GJ Shades 2001

Without you
I've found a new place to stay
Where brightest rays of sunshine
Can't stop the rain
And there's a pool too deep to measure
Reflecting angry sky
Where the promise of forever
Is drowned in endless lies

It's just a little south of heartbreak
Along the road to lonely nights
Beyond the pool of tears
You'll find me living here
On the wrong side of goodbye

Without you
There's a place where flowers won't grow
And the warmest August evenings
Never felt so cold
Where memories bring the lightning
And thunder shakes the walls
But the people here don't worry
They don't seem to feel at all

It's just a little south of heartbreak
Along the road to lonely nights
Beyond the pool of tears
You'll find me living here
On the wrong side of goodbye

But don't you worry about me
Don't you think I won't be strong
I'll get by
Don't you worry about me
Don't you think I can't go on
I'll be fine

Just a little south of heartbreak
Along the road to lonely nights
Beyond the pool of tears
I'll be waiting for you here
On the wrong side of goodbye

Last edited by GJShades; 12/26/06 12:30 AM.
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Hi GL,

Nice job on a well worn subject.

Personally I'd rather hear the guy address the listener. Addressing her and ending with "I'll be waiting here" makes him look kinda hopeless to me?????

Enjoyed the read and good luck smile
Bill


Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.
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Hello GL. Liked the flow of this one and the 'familiar' ring of a sad country melody. Tried and true.

Good Job!

Douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

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Hi G J, welcome back. It's been a while. I remember you write a good deal like I do sometimes, only better.
I like your song . The C is really good IMO. 'Bout the only nit I can see is this line ----------
"There's a place where flowers won't grow"
It seems a bit long to fit and then it has "place" in it again.
You may have wanted it to reinforce the place thing. It seems to be the same place. Possibility of "In my new home" or something instead of "There's a place"
Possibility that "where" could be cut out
Well, had to find "something" to nit <G>.
Good job as usual
Wy

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Fields once flush with flowers won't grow

Good writing, though it's hard to be fresh on this, you knocked out some good lines.
Ben

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Hey GJ,
Enjoyed the read.

Favorite lines:

I've found a new place to stay
Where brightest rays of sunshine
Can't stop the rain
And there's a pool to deep to measure
Reflecting angry sky



Along the road to lonely nights
Beyond the pool of tears

There's a place where flowers won't grow

Where memories bring the lightning
And thunder shakes the walls







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Hi GJ... Very nice seeing you here again.. smile
I thought this excellent. The lyric was very expressive..and I love how it was broken up so well from verse, chorus..and bridge.

I heard skies rather than sky...,
but just a personal preference thing. & typo (too) deep.

best to you....
Kaley

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Hi Bill,
Actually that changed line in the last chorus is meant to suggest that the singer wants the subject of the song to experience what it feels like to get dumped and find his/herself on the wrong side of goodbye.

Your comment will make me re-think if it works...so thanks.
GJ




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Thanks Doug,
I appreciate your comment....But this is actually a Rap song...(I'm teasin' grin)

GJ

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Hi Wy,
It was nice to see you still hanging out here. I was hoping you might find some time to take a look at this.
You're right about the one line...it is a tight squeeze.
And I will indeed consider your other comment...I see exactly what you mean. Thanks.

GJ

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Hi Ben,
Thanks alot for your comment and suggestion for that line.
My first thought was that your change might make the line a bit too flowery (yeah...pun intended grin ), but I'll give it a try and see how it sounds.

GJ smile

Last edited by GJShades; 12/26/06 12:56 AM.
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Thanks for the reply shayne.
It's nice to get some confirmation of specific lines that work.
GJ

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Nice to see you too Kaley. Hope you're having a nice Christmas.
I did actually bounce back and forth on the sky/skies thing.
Skies is the better rhyme. I think I must have been feeling more poetic when I settled on sky... I'm not sure crazy.
Thanks for Commenting. And thanks for pointing out that presentation flaw too.

GJ smile


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