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Any thoughts or ideas for this one will be gratefully accepted.

It Won't Be Long Now
© 2003 Lyrics by Bobbie Gallup ASCAP

He looked so handsome in his uniform
As they waited for his train
"I don't want to leave you but I must,
Though war's so hard to explain"
He kissed her trembling lips
In the softly falling rain
And he said...

CHORUS:
It won't be long now
It will only be awhile
It won't be long now
So think of me and smile
Because....it won't be long now

Each day dragged on forever
As she waited for some news
And as the weeks passed in silence
The fear inside her grew
One day the mailman rang her bell and said
"Here's a special one for you"
And it read....

CHORUS:
It won't be long now
It will only be awhile
It won't be long now
So think of me and smile
Because....it won't be long now

Two hearts overflowed with joy
On the day that they were wed
Asked the Lord to bless their love
As they climbed the stairs to bed
And a few short years later
She took his hand and softly said

CHORUS:
It won't be long now
It will only be awhile
It won't be long now
Please hold my hand and smile
Because....it won't be long now

BRIDGE:
The good Lord gives and He takes away
And sometimes He does both
Our turn on earth's but a finger snap
Before it's our time to go

The hill now takes her breath away
Her steps are hesitant and slow
But she comes to see him every Sunday
And puts a rose beside his stone
"You've waited for me a long time, dear
But there's something you should know"

CHORUS:
It won't be long now
It will only be awhile
It won't be long now
So think of me and smile
Because....it won't be long now



[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 03-23-2003).]

Hey bobbie!

Very nice. I like this. And really liked how it turned around at the end there. Only two things caught my eye:

Though war's so hard to explain" was thinking THOUGH should be THIS, even though you haven't mentioned the specific war...very minor.

and FINGER SNAP "sounded" odd to me for some reason, though probably better than the proverbial and cliched "blink of an eye!" If anything pops in my head, i'll come back.

I liked it!

Howdy Blake,

I will sure consider changing that THOUGH to THIS..but I think most wars are hard to explain. Because a lot of time had elapsed between the first and last verse, the guy was probably in WW2, not the current war, though by not being explicit, more folks may relate to this as being more current. I will certainly entertain any ideas for fixing up that bridge. I was struggling with that for some reason. I know pretty much what I want to say but so far it feels sorta blah to me. HELPPPP!!

Thanks for the read and thoughts.
Bobbie

Very well written, very timely message.

Hi Bobbie

You're just a fountain of lyrics lately.

I always read lyrics and create virtual reality scenes in my mind as I try to sing along to an imaginary musical flow. Sometimes I can go on quite a trip without ever leaving the farm so to speak.
I beg your forgiveness in light of the current world situation but this reads just like a 50's/60's soldier gone to war song and I even imagined the harmony styles that were used then. Just me you know. God I still listen to some good old Frankie Valli stuff.
I love the loyalty and strength in the picture painted at the end of this lyric.
One thing I'll mention is I have to agree with Blake on the finger snap thing but he's right, where do you go with that?

The other thing is I couldn't get a rythum going for is the threepeat of the hook in the chorus.......But you've got something in mind for that I know.
Nice classic American style story and as warm and familiar as Mom's home made apple pie.

JMHO as you know. Don't forget to pat your Dawg!

Eric

Mornin'Bobbie
Very nice lyric... I liked the way it takes you through time... I was expecting "bad news" and was relieved he made it home & they had many more years together... I guess we're all hoping for happy endings these days.
I with you on "though".
Nice Job
Joanne

Hi Bobby,

This is uncanny. Tink and I have a lyric under way right now that is really similar to this. It's an older lyric that we're finally getting around to finishing.

It similarities are uncanny, from the soldier gone to war, to the note, to the soldiers return.

We even had the soldier pass away at the end in an earlier version.

The difference is in the hook (Everything is Gonna Be Alright) and the concept is that the woman is pregnant, waiting for her husband to return from war.

I like the way your chorus ties in with every verse, and I like the way it ties in with the last verse now that they are old and he's already passed.

The line "The hill now takes her breath away" is a great line showing her age.

Sort of an unusual structure with four verses and a bridge.

The third verse takes quite a narratrive jump into the wedding. I wonder if you could fit in the soldiers return.

Some sort of , "And on the day that he returned, hearts jumped as they were wed", sort of thing.

The other thing I notice is that length and story wise, although I really like the last verse, it's not completely necessary. You could remove it completely and with a few modifications that bridge would still do it's job... I think... So, if it becomes a problem when this get's music, you might consider that.

One last thing, the line "Each day dragged on forever" seems a little clunky, how about, "Each day seemed an eternity".

Okay Bobby, that's it from my end. I think this is a good story with a solid beginning, middle, and end, with a solid, heartwarming resolution. The idea is quite good.

Other than that little narrative jump to the wedding which is an easy fix with a little thought, I think this is well on it's way.

Curtis

Howdy Lyric Finder,

Thank you so much for your read and remarks. Feedback, especially on a really new one makes a lot of difference to me.

Bobbie

Howdy Eric,

Dawg is all patted for the day. LOL I have to ration him, ya know! Otherwise he starts writing really badddd children's songs!!!
Glad this one gave you some imagery. I was actually thinking that the guy was going off to fight WW2..so you weren't far off on the 50's music thing there. In my mind, that was the only way the timing thing worked well for her to be such an old woman today. I love some of that old Frankie Valli stuff too...so you won't get any complaints from me on that part. Such a distinctive voice! I love your picture of loyalty and strength...because that was precisely what I was going for here!! Yeah, I do have a head tune for that 5 line chorus, but things can always change there.

I was hoping for heartwarming here but not altogether predictable. Don't want this to feel overdone.

Thanks SO much for the read and comments here!

Bobbie

Hi Joanne,

I totally agree with you..I think we are all in need of some happy endings these days. Just knowing that some folks have long and happy lives together is something I wanted to portray here. Thanks for your kind comments here. Much appreciated.

Bobbie

HI NashvilLady!

Maybe "Our Turn on Earth's a Busy Spin
& Soon, It's Time to Go"...perhaps?

Gets me All Misted Up...Great Job!

"KUDOS" while I go get another Hankey!
Great Job!

BPH
Stan

Bobbie,

What a super song you have here! Like Blake, I agree the "finger snap" line somehow seems awkward. The only thing that comes to mind is:

...."Our turn on earth passes by so fast
Before it's our time to go"

It's not particularly "catchy" or anything like that, but it might be something to consider. It's the best I can come up with at the moment.

The flow works for me as is. And, I like the way you used "Though war's so hard to explain." I really don't like to differ with Blake very much because he's so darned good, but this time I will...sorry buddy!

Other than the finger snap phrase, I don't see where you need to change anything at all. Really nice!

Alan

------------------
When you talk, you say something you already know...
If you listen, you might learn something new.

[This message has been edited by sideman66 (edited 03-23-2003).]

Love the storytelling here... B.G.,
don't laugh but i thought it read
GINGERSNAPs.. and i said...WHAT????????
darn..eyes.....they's going...i tell you...
they's going.......
only thing I saw were spots..i would prune some extra words..(IF INDEED, they are extra)
but if you got a tune going.., then promptly
ignore me.......

do you have a pat the dawg song...i FURget!

nice visitin here tonight..B.G.,
you'ins take caredown nashville way,

Kaley

Hi Cameron,

I am actually surprised that more of this doesn't happen on here. There are just so many ideas, and it is amazing that more folks don't end up writing the same or similar stories more often, certainly not from any attempt at copying but just because the same thoughts come to us at different times. I look forward to reading you & Tink's song when it is ready.

I do understand your concern about the wedding happening without any preliminary statement that he came home...but I was actually hoping to avoid having to state the obvious after she got his note saying he was coming home soon. They couldn't very well have had a wedding if he hadn't, so...sorta like the line about the hill in the last verse, I was endeavoring to get the idea across without having to come right out and say it. May have to rethink that if the timeline gives more folks trouble there. I realize that one of the verses could be cut out, but if that is necessary for time, I think I would take out the 3rd verse rather than the last one. Folks could assume they were already married when he left that way.

I will see what I can do for that clunky line you mentioned. Will see if others have suggestions before I hit the rewrite button on this machine. Darn...wouldn't one of those be nice to have? Just click a button and magically, your rewrites were done.

Thank you so much for the analysis and insights here. ALWAYS appreciate your thoughts.

Bobbie

Howdy Tampa,

Thanks so much for dropping by to share a few moments on this one. Sorry about the need for hankies. I will buy the next box of kleenex. Have been pondering that fingersnap line. Am sorta leaning towards..Our turn on earth is all too brief, though that isn't real exciting...so am still open to suggestions.

Appreciate the suggestions and the kudos.

Bobbie

Hi Alan,

Yeah, that finger snap line needs work. Just can't seem to come up with something that really rattles my cage yet. Am trying to come up with some image that seems to happen in an instant like a falling star, shooting star, comet blaze...etc. Thanks for weighing in on the word THOUGH. Helps me decide whether it goes or stays. Sure appreciate the feedback and suggestions here.

Bobbie

Bobbie,
Nice stuff here....Though/This - you could do without either word if you choose just leave it at-War's or war is so hard to explain.
The jump to the wedding didn't stump me I thought it was an obvious thing --but i can see why some might have said that - since the whole start is about him going off and her worrying.
Could possibly say
Two hearts reunited with joy
Overflowing as they wed ???

Our turn on earth is all too brief - works better for me on that line.
Pam

LOL Heck Mz Kaley, I kin sure relate to them eye prollems!! LOL I think it comes from strainin' ta read Dawg's handwritin'. That is enuff talk about prunes too, my dear. The eyesight is bad enough, but I don't need no prunes too. Oh, you are talking about getting rid of some words, waaalll, that is a beast of a different color fur. Though I do have a head tune that makes this meter ok, am always willing to let a composer have some latitude to cut or add as need be to fit the music.

I actually have two songs about dawgs. LOL One is I'VE GOT MY DAWG...and the other is OLD DAWG. The first one is from a male POV, however, so not exactly what you might be thinking. Second one, however is more about the Dawg you are prolly talking about.

Spring is truly happening here. Our daffodils and crocuses are in full bloom and it hit 70 degrees today. I can handle that.

Sure is nice to have you drop by.

Bobbie

Howdy Pam,

I will certainly consider taking out that word entirely, but it sorta feels like it needs a transition word there to me. I really do appreciate all the excellent suggestions for this. It still has a few spots that aren't all that smooth to me, and I appreciate the feedback so much. One vote in favor of the all too brief line. Thanks again!

Bobbie

Hi Bobbie,

You wrote:
" I will certainly entertain any ideas for fixing up that bridge. I was struggling with that for some reason. I know pretty much what I want to say but so far it feels sorta blah to me. HELPPPP!!"

How can I not try

The good Lord gives and He takes away,
For reasons men have longed to know;
Our stay on earth, sadness and rebirth,
But a finger snap before we go.

TT

Howdy Tall One,

Well, that is a lot better than what I had but folks are saying the 'fingersnap' thing has to go...so am still looking for something to resolve that image..of how brief our time is here. Any further thoughts will be appreciated!! This suggestion is going in the save file, however. Thanks so much!

Bobbie

Hi Bobbie,

I did see the questioning about snap's workability
but it seemed to me that you were reluctant to let it go — at least at the outset.
As you know (I think) I always do all I can to make someone's choice of imagey work— even if
I'm thinkin', "if it was me I'd take a new tack".

Dylan sang:
"God knows it could SNAP apart right now
Just like puttin' scissors to a string"

Here I know that your meaning will change from the snap being the duration of our stay but try this — I've used "linger" to soften the approach:

We linger a short while,
enduring sadness sharing smiles
In a finger snap. . . It's time to go.

A'course there's always old faithful
where "linger" still helps with internal rhyme:

In the wink of an eye, it's time to go.


------------------
Terry

[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 03-26-2003).]

Hi Bobby,

Yeah, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often too. And I agree, I think it's just a natural extension of the way a story develops. You send a guy off to war with his grilfriend left at home and... Your gonna get certain things that are likey to happen...

I'll try to get Tink and I's song posted one of these days.

Curtis

P.S. I like Terry's suggestion on the "wink of an eye" or "blink of an eye"... I like "blink".

"The good Lord gives and He takes away,
For reasons men have longed to know;
Our stay on earth, sadness and rebirth,
It's just a blink before we go."

or maybe,

"It's all a blink before we go"



[This message has been edited by Curtis Cameron (edited 03-26-2003).]

Howdy Tall One,

I wasn't stuck on the fingersnap thing, just looking for some image that was innovative for saying that we aren't around very long when compared to eternity...or something like that. Don't recall those lines from Dylan..but they are good ones IMO. Talk about a guy who saw things a bit differently. I will sure consider the linger line. Not bad, though it has connotations of hanging around a bit too long. Do like the sadness/smiles line a lot. The wink/blink of an eye is what I was trying to avoid cause it is just too predictable IMO. Still thinking though..and I DO appreciate these nudges towards a new tack here.

Bobbie

Hi Bobbie,
You wrote:
Don't recall those lines from Dylan..but they are good ones IMO.
"Under the Red Sky" song: "God Knows"

"Talk about a guy who saw things a bit differently."

I love that he said in "Songtalk": "What else can we do for anyone but inspire them."
Would that we all had that attitude — goodby subtle competitiveness.

"The wink/blink of an eye is what I was trying to avoid cause it is just too predictable IMO."

I guess so. . . that's what I implied by, "there's always 'old faithful' ".

Tallus Katerrius

P.S. Send Words of Love to the servicemen

http://anyservicemember.navy.mil/MessageProc.asp


[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 03-26-2003).]

Howdy Curtis,

I will be looking forward to the song you and Tink are writing soon!! Right now, I think we are all in need of some good heartwarming things to listen to. JMO of course, but I daresay that dark and desolate isn't going to get much attention at the moment...though moments DO change, as we all know. As I mentioned to TT, I had started the bridge thought initially with the blink of an eye concept and then decided it was just too cliche for me and wanted to go somewhere else more imaginative with that. Think some of the suggestions are getting closer though. It is still up for grabs, however.

Thanks again!
Bobbie

Howdy TT,

Thanks for the origin of the Dylan words. Will have to check that one out. He certainly had an impact on a lotta folks thinking. I'd love to be able to look back someday and be able to think that something I had written might have inspired someone else. That would be a worthy tribute. We can all at least aspire to that. Thanks SO much.

Bobbie

Hi Bobbie,

"Don't Look Back"

You ARE an inspiration
When your intent is to inspire.

The context that he said it in implied that unselfish giving in ANY exchange, not only song.

He wrote:
"Wish I'd a been a doctor,
Maybe I'da saved some lives that've bin lost
Maybe I'da done some good in the world
Stead of burnin' every bridge I crossed."

Name that tune

Check out Charlie Daniels giving Hollywood pride the old one-two!!
http://www.talltexian.com/AmericaForever/id34.htm


------------------
Terry

Hi, Bobbie. Yup, this is a sweet one. I have to agree with Curtis, though, on the transition to that 3rd verse. I think it needs a line or something that shows his return before the wedding. That really threw me the first time I read this. I think the bridge still needs some work. I don't have an idea for you, but it's just not there yet, IMO. In V4, the "hill" line was a little confusing to me. My first thought was "what hill?!". It kind of came out of nowhere to me. Not a big deal, but I thought I'd mention it. Bottom line? I think this is really good. Just needs a little bit of smoothing out.

Erica

[This message has been edited by rickigirl (edited 03-26-2003).]

Howdy Tall One,

Thanks..I will try to be inspirational. You got me on the Dylan words again. I never used to pay attention to who was singing or had written what until I started writing lyrics myself..so anything from that era is a loss to me. I have no idea what song that is from.
My brain isn't functioning up to par tonite either.

Bobbie

Hi Bobbie,

"Don't Fall Apart on Me Tonight"
from INFIDELS (Mark Knopfler on lead guitar)

In a moment we share
Each of us has it within
To become great
Or to inspire greatness;
One being the creative
The other the receptive
As the water of Life ebbs and flows.

Terry

Howdy Erica,

Thanks for taking time to check this one out. I haven't had time to do a thorough rework on it..so will save your thoughts fof that. I am still working on that bridge..though a few folks have sent me some excellent ideas for it.

As I mentioned to Curtis about that transition line, I'm still not totally convinced it is essential to put all the details actually IN a song. Sometimes I like to leave a few things for the listeners to figure out. My thinking here is that if she got a letter saying he would be home soon..and the next thing in the song is about them getting married...then most folks will eventually figure out he must have actually come home. I will certainly consider smoothing that out, however.

As for the troublesome hill...that was a bit deliberate there...because I wanted folks to wonder, as you did...what hill? Then you get to figure out that it is a hill at the cemetery but not til you get to that place in the storyline. So, I have to admit that if it did make you wonder...what hill..then it served the purpose for which it was intended. (That line is actually there also to let you know that time has passed and she is now an old woman.) I will consider if there is a better way to accomplish that, but since others have specifically said they really like that line, so am not sure it is a good one to change.

Thank you so much for the thoughts! Always appreciated!

Bobbie

Hey TT,

Do you know if Mark Knopfler is also a song WRITER or is he just a guitarist? Is he from Canada also? A couple of years ago, someone by that name (I think) sent me a cd and asked if I was interested in writing lyricx for his melodies. The style of music on the cd was not very close to what I was doing at the time, so I never wrote for him...but now am wondering if it was the same guy. I will have to find that cd and check. Thanks for the mental trigger there.

I like those words of inspiration a lot. Thanks for sharing them.

Bobbie

Hi Bobbie,

Probably a different guy cause this Knopfler is the
leader of Dire Straits. He is the main writer and I think his first biggest hit was "The Sultans of Swing". He's on Slow Train and Infidels (1983).

I just wrote that last verse cause your receptivity inspires me Thanks!

Terry

LOL then he MUST be a different guy. The one who sent me the cd was no Dire Straits kinda guy, that is for sure! Thanks for straightening that one out for me.

Bobbie

Hey Bobba-needle,

Its the JPF bump
Pick your axe up off the stump
Tune it up, give it a thump
Here's an 8-bar Bridge, no trump:

BRIDGE
The good Lord gives and He takes away
Sometimes we have to let go
What brought us joy one day;
A flash across the heavens
Shooting stars you and me
We are, then we are not. . . then we will be.

TT

[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 03-29-2003).]

Hi TT,

Now THAT is different...and a very interesting direction. Will put that in my pondering pouch! It sorta grows on me.

Thanks MUCH,
Bobbie