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"She Strikes Me Right"

© DANOLYRICS(BMI) 2002

There ain`t no angel in waiting,
Lyin next to me in this bed,
A tattoo across her shoulder,
Her blonde hair with wild streaks of red,

An attitude to match her looks,
And my diamond on her left hand,
Mama mighta warned me `bout her,
But Mama learned to understand.

She strikes me right,
She`s all I need and more,
Like nothing I`ve felt before,
I look into her eyes,
She strikes me right,
Yeah, she strikes me right.

Truth is, I`ve had my wilder days,
The closing bars and running round,
But one look from her kiss me greens,
Was all I`d need to settle down.

She strikes me right,
She`s all I need and more,
Like nothing I`ve felt before,
I look into her eyes,
She strikes me right,
Yeah, she strikes me right.

All I know is she has the magic,
I have searched for all my life...

She strikes me right,
She`s all I need and more,
Like nothing I`ve felt before,
I look into her eyes,
She strikes me right,
Yeah, she......strikes me right.



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Hello Dano,

Nice job. Understand and appreciate the sentiment here. For some reason, I wanted the fourth line in the chorus to rhyme with "right", but that's prolly just me.

Enjoyed the read.

dawg

Howdy Danomite!

Really like this one a lot. Of course I had to have a few ideas for you too, however. In your first verse, you might consider:
There ain`t no angel in waiting,
Lyin next to me in this bed,
Rose tattoo 'cross her shoulder,
WILD blonde hair with streaks of red
That last line just seemed to need one less syllable 'cause the stresses fell awkwardly IMO. Same thing in this line:
And my diamond on her (left/delete) hand.

This line in the chorus seemed like it could be improved with a rhyme also:
When she comes to me at night (when I hold her at nght..etc)
She strikes me right

Also...seems to need a tense change in that third verse. Could just be the way I am reading it, however.
Knew I had to settle down. The way I am reading your existing lyric, (was all I'd -I would- need to settle down) he hasn't settled down yet..and they are engaged. If you used was all I needED..that adds a syllable and the stress doesn't fall right. You COULD redo the line above it to:
Took one look from her kiss me greens
All I needed to settle down

Just a few thoughts to ponder. I thought this was gonna be about some gal named "flint". LOL

Bobbie

hey there Dan. with a Lyn Skyn arrangement this could be pretty rockin but to just read it...it seems like it needs a punchier hook than She Strikes Me Right. it also feels like it could use one good line, description, play on words...something for the mind's eye to latch onto. the tattoo and wild hair and pretty are run of the mill. what kind of a tattoo is it? (don't say "rose"...that's seriously cliched) what's her hair look like besides the colors? paint a picture of just one item and bring the lyric to life. just my opinion natch...

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[This message has been edited by couchgrouch (edited 07-13-2002).]

Hey Danorama,

Well bud...i gotta go with Couch on this. I kept thinking the chorus wasn't as strong as I'd like it to be and more specifically i thought it was because of the hook. Bobbie had some good ideas for sure, and i agree that some unique type of tattoo would be cool. I really liked the verses.

Dawg and Bobbie,

Thanks for stopping by y`all. Ya picked out all the stuff I wrestled over.

The third verse was him thinking back...hence the alleged tense offense. I thought it would come across as him thinking back with the way it`s worded, and it seemed to be okay to me. Now I`z thinking on it.

I meant for them to be married, so I might have to change the diamond to a wedding ring. Wouldn`t want ya thinkin they were sinnin or nothin. Flint was her maiden name, by the way.

Thanks again for the ideas and thoughts...I`ll be tweakin it a bit. Dano.

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Hi Couchster,

Good thoughts on the tattoo idea. She`ll have a serpent or skull or something like that and maybe spiked hair. Lyn Skyn would be cool by me. Thanks for stoppin in Rob. Dano.

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Blakester,

Thanks for the thoughts bro. Y`all are on the ball tonight! I`ll definitely spruce her up a bit to make her stick in yer head, like she did in mine. Thanks again bud. Dano.

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Hello Dano,
I think the ideas you have from the others, already, will spruce this up nicely. I have one other, ok...two places that I want to ask about. 1st word 1st line...I kept thinking "This ain't no angel" instead of "there." The other was "But one look from her kiss me greens." I think it'd be a little smoother if you dropped the "but" and added "eyes" at the end. JMO.
Tony

Hi ya Bro,
Good one. I have some suggestions. Keep or sweep.


A tattoo (etched) across her shoulder,
of a devil dressed in red

and my gold band on her left hand

(of) closing bars and running round,

Was all (I needed)to settle down

Take care Bro!!!
Ria


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Aw Dano, You sentimental sap,
This is just so pr......... well maybe not
But the idea is great.
Your chorus is wonderful.
The only place that really tripped me up and made me re-read a couple of times was that third verse line
"kiss me greens"
I admit my eyes jumped forward and saw that and did a "what-tha?" . when I read it slower I figured out you meant eyes. But maybe I just don't know that expression. probably just my bias.
Love the devil tattoo suggestion from Ria.


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Harriet

Not bad, Dan. The hook is a phrase that doesn't make the rounds in these parts, though. The same goes for "kiss me greens." I understand what both things mean, though, of course.

The chorus strikes me (heh heh) as kinda short. I dunno how well it would sound with music. And I wanted to hear more about how, on the surface, she doesn't seem like the right woman for you.

Nice job overall! The whole thing seems kinda thin, though, I dunno.

Anthony

hi dan...all this story needs is some kickin music...it's lean but with right music it could sing...what is "kiss me green" ? never heard that before...good little ditty...terry

Trush,

kiss me greens refers to her bedroom green eyes....

Danomyte!!

I like this one quite a bit and maybe it's cause I relate to the girl in this one. I have definitely always had a wild side, and it seems the singer's wife has, too.

Just wantin to "tinker" with the chorus just a tad...

She strikes me right,
She`s all I need and more,
Like noONE EVER HAS BEFORE,
ONE look into her eyes,
I'M DAMN NEAR HYPNOTIZED,
MERCY... she strikes me right.

Keep it or sweep it, I like this lyric, LOTS! Nice work, now I'm gonna go see what else I missed while I was gone...

Cin

Tony, Ria, and Harriet,

Tony,
Good catch on that this instead of there. I`ll change that. The kiss me greens line is one of my faves, and I feel it needs the "but" to start that line to signify his turning point. Thanks for the peek and teek.

SistaRia,
Yeppers, I`m definitely gonna do some tweakin on it. Thanks for stopping in and offering ideas.

Harriet,
You`ve never heard of kiss me green eyes? Where the heck do you live girl...Washington or something? Thanks for the visit and the kind words.

Thanks again you 3. Dano.

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Anthony and Trush,

Anthony,
Heh-heh...I got ya bud. You my friend, were the source of this hook in the first place. And now you`re saying the phrase doesn`t make it rounds in your parts!! LOL You said in a comment on someone else`s lyric..."that line doesn`t strike me right". You are so busted pal. And the kiss me green eyes idea has already seen airplay in a country song a while back, so I`m not worried bout that one either.

Thanks for stopping in and making my day...and for your thoughts.

Terry,
Kickin music sounds great to me! I`m gonna tweak it a bit for more flavor. I see Tink offered an explaination for the kiss me greens. Thanks for visiting friend.

Thanks again fellas. Dano.


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Tink,

Thanks for stoppin by Ultimate Cin. Glad ya liked this one. I`m gonna tinker and play around with it a bit to make it a tad better. Thanks again for the visit and suggestions HarlanDarlin. Dano.

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I've never heard that phrase used in reference to a *person*, ya see. But yeah, I use it in reference to other stuff.

Anthony

G'day Dan windowman. Gee mate, you write bonzer songs. I wish I could write songs good as you. best wishes, Ray in Australia.

Anth,

So what you`re sayin is...yes Dano, you caught my hand in the cookie jar, but I never eat them, I just get rid of the broken ones.

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G`Day Ray,

Well thank you sir for the very kind words. Don`t worry mate, I write plenty of crappy, "not-so-bonzer" ones too. Best wishes to you too Ray. Dano.

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