JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Bluelitenin/Gerry Collab - Another Story For Another Day

Ceri wrote the lyrics and they inspired me to write the music. We worked hard on this one, like rewrite, replay and again, again and again. Special thanks to Cookbeaux for giving us his help, advice and encouragement.
Anyway please crit as we are both dead set on getting it right!!! your help is and will be appreciated.
Ceri and Gerry

Lo-Fi Play
http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamM3U.m3u?ID=92601&q=Lo

Hi-Fi Play
http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamM3U.m3u?ID=92601&q=Hi

Download
http://www.stationmp3.com/stationMP3/publicuser/downloadform.cfm?strlo=18844

ANOTHER STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY

I’m sending you this letter, just to say hello
And fill you in on all the latest news.
Just small talk, to keep in touch,
Maybe a story, that will amuse.
Since you’ve you been away, I’ve been busy,
Thinking ‘bout the words I couldn’t say.
And wondrin why, I never told you.
But, That’s another story, for another day.

<chorus>
Yes, Another story for another day
Another chapter ‘bout the one who got away
Just a minor detail, a footnote on a page….
Just another story, for another day

<verse>
I saw Jim in town. He said tell ya hello
And to call him, when you had some time
Joe at the bar asked, where we’ve been.
Said he’s still savin’ up, our favorite wine.
I told him that, it would be a while
Before you be headed back this way
I couldn’t tell him you’d found someone new.
Cus That’s another story, for another day.

Yes, I should have said I wish the best for you
And that I hope you’re both happy too

And yes I should have told you how much I loved you,
But……..

That’s another story for another day
Another chapter ‘bout the one who got away
Just a minor detail, A footnote on the page
Just another story, for another day.

©2002CLT/GWC

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http://www.stationmp3.com/GWCooper

[This message has been edited by Gerry (edited 07-04-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Gerry (edited 07-04-2002).]

G'day Guys. Finally got here.
As promised Gerry I had a good listen when it downloaded and as the stream listen mid buffering suggested, i think i would pick this up a bit. Think Sinatra type stuff me thinks.
believe there is a little trimming to do on the words to do that but all up is pretty solid.
Looking at it broadly I see the say hello and the keep in touch as the same thing and would see what I could do with that section.
Ssaving up our favourite wine, seems a bit oddly put. Still has a stock of would maybe be better.
Hope that helped some Guys.
Graham

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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/grahamhenderson_music.htm

Hi Gerry,
I agree with graham that it's got a Sinatra thing going on. I think you should go with it though. Maybe tone down the 'new ageiness ' a bit. It does take me to another place though. I like it when a song takes me 'out of my own head'.
Great job,
Rick

Thanks Graham and Nick. I am afraid my vocal limitations mean however I croak people say I sound just a little like Mr Sinatra. Honestly not intentional although to even be mentioned in the same breath as the great man is for me a great honour.
Ceri and I just both hope this one will travel and perhaps can be performed in a variety of different ways, including Country.
If the melody and lyrics stack up then my singing really is only secondary.
Thank you both for listening and your valued comments.

Gerry

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http://www.stationmp3.com/GWCooper

gerry. I was in no way having a crack at your singing. After all. You have haeard me wo know i ain't gunna do that.
I have head blokes like Irving Berlin both sing and play, and that is the only reason I am hapy to do my own rough demos. Most of the old time greats were no artists. Presentation was in the hands of the artists them days. And the A&R folks earned their keep too.
I wsa suggesting you swing the music up some Gerry. The vocal will follow suit no matter how you croak it. It is more the feeling than the quality of a voice anyway in my book.
REgards
Graham

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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/grahamhenderson_music.htm

I never thought that for a moment Graham and I apologise if my comments implied that. You and I Graham have the voices we have full stop. It would be just great to be gifted with a good singing voice but I have not been. I just use it get across the melody and idea of song. I only hope someone else will like it enough to do a cover.
I can change tempo etc and the lyrics can always be changed. Unfortunately the old vocal chords are what they are.
Take care Graham and I appreciate your concern. Anybody that takes the time to listen to one of my tracks, has only my gratitude. Any crits/suggestions are always welcomed and appreciated by me.
Thanks Graham,

Gerry

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http://www.stationmp3.com/GWCooper

[This message has been edited by Gerry (edited 07-15-2002).]

Hi, you two!

Gerry, I thought your voice was fine. I liked it because it was warm, rich and real sounding.

The following critique and suggestions are just my opinion and what I would personally like to hear and relate to, so please keep that in mind as you read it.

At first I found the melody of the chorus kind of interesting but then later it didn't feel right to me. It doesn't seem to fit with the melody of the verses. It really seems more suitable for a bridge that is heard once because of the different feeling.
A good chorus that sticks in your mind is the backbone of any song. So maybe rethink the melody of the chorus.

In the first 6 lines of each verse, there are notes and "spaces" that seem held out too long. It makes it sound hesitant as if the melody is not quite fitting the lyrics.

The last 2 lines of the verses sound right though, so maybe quicken the tempo on those first 6, (or adjust the lyrics by adding some "helping words" or some other kind of editing )and add just a brief pause or rest happen at the end of each couplet to kind of punctuate the melodic phrase.

Lyrically, the content of the verses and chorus seem pretty solid. The weakest part is the bridge. I would like to hear the lyrics tell a little more about the relationship, about not saying how much he loved her etc, looking back there are things he should have done etc.

I would leave out what he should have told the bartender. IMO It's what he should have done that is the important part of the song, not that he couldn't bear to tell people about it.

String ensemble sounds are my favorite but I would leave them out really. I would like to hear acoustic guitar with a maybe a solo string instrument coming in toward the end of each verse, providing a harmony for the melody in those lines. That would help create the plaintive, moody feeling that I think you are going for in this song. The string ensemble sound that is there is just "filler" and sounds like it. If you do keep it in, use it sparingly and only as an accent.

My first reaction towards tempo is that it should be picked up a little. But then I thought about the song "Please Come To Boston." Loggins I think. Anyway his song is fairly slow in tempo but he picks up ever so slightly in the chorus and changes the meter and rhythm there and it's very effective. I don't usually like bringing up another artist's songs, but what he does in that song is kind of what I mean so I mentioned it.

Anyway, I've gone on and on so long it's like reading the morning paper. Good luck with this.


JeanB

Hmmm, Gerry.......think we oughtta speed it up just a bit? That seems to be the consensus of all these great critiques....and THANKS to all of you for takin' the time to listen. Really appreciate all of the comments!
As far as the lyrics go.....we sent about a gazillion e-mails back and forth, tryin' to get the lyrics right.....first there were too many syllables (sillyballs, as Gerry calls 'em), then there weren't enough, and now? Who knows, lol....
Will take all comments into consideration....thanks again, y'all.
Bluelitenin

Firstly thank you Jean B for not only listening but taking the time to write down some valued points. Looks like you have hit the nail on the head.

OK Blue you are right we cannot ignore so much informed opinion.I get the message so let's knock this one up a few BPM and spice it up just a little.

Many Thanks,

Gerry

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http://www.stationmp3.com/GWCooper

I'm all ears Guys.
Now ya know why I wear my hair long.
Graham

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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/grahamhenderson_music.htm