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For Dom
by JAPOV - 04/30/26 09:52 PM
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Nothing
by JAPOV - 04/27/26 10:49 AM
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WHEN?
by JAPOV - 04/23/26 11:28 PM
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Joined: Jul 2002
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Thinking Game of Thrones type landscape: You can handle fair craft I need breach the far shore Together we’ll weather the wild guile Possibly even the score, of The Wild River Boar Any love or scrape it? https://jumpshare.com/share/AAXn9T9WSnIJizbE6ust
Last edited by Bill Draper; 01/09/26 03:56 AM.
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Too abstract, obscure.
Unless you're writing to synchronize with specific video content I don't think a listener would find it meaningful.
Maybe not then.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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1 member likes this:
Bill Draper |
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Hi Gary,
Thanks for quick response.
Bill
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Joined: Jul 2002
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The king he battles on sand
His castle shaken and cracked
The queen's magic ring has been stolen
People's homes have all been sacked.
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Joined: Aug 2006
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Hey Bill!
There's certainly potential here. It reads to me like childhood imagination.
I see children on the beach, creating and acting out stories while digging and building on the wet, sandy shoreline.
I see a "river" and a small leaf as a boat for "Wild River Boar"
I see a sand castle for "The Queen's stolen ring"
What other stories ya got?
Peace,
Dave
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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1 member likes this:
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Joined: Dec 2000
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Where are you looking to go with this Bill? Kinda small snippet to work with
a medieval scene
some medieval elements
who what when where why how if, then etc....
ie...what is the big picture canvas you are looking to paint?
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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1 member likes this:
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Joined: Oct 2001
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Hey Bill.......... I"m confused... (not unusual for me)......but what are you talking about??? LOL
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Actually it’s kinda cool with that hook Finish, it give to to suno
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.
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Thanks Gary, David, John V, Kay-Lynn and Elvis.
Your comments all indicate very well what needs doing next : more storyline, more details, more structure…thanks so much!
Talking with Kay-Lynn (The Secret thread), it occurred to me, I need to start my own thread! Jeez, what a concept lol.
The lyric forum looks active these days, so had to post something there.
I wanted to test the freeby player Jump share. Excited to find that! Did it work ok??
I had a suno instrumental, that I wanted to sing over, and play guitar.
I was hoping my vocal and guitar would mesh well with the suno band. Didn’t. Needs work. May need to take Elvis’s suggest.
The story.
I’m on the bank of a river. I need to get across. There is a person with a boat. (that from one of Kay-Lynn’s threads)
I wanted to make it different, I wanted to create danger, I needed someone skilled and courageous to help.
It’s stormy weather. Evil sorcery in the storm. The boar is product of some nasty evil magician, who has attacked the kings castle and land. The river is also under the control of evil, and has boiled up to prevent me, a skilled knight, getting across to help the king.
Finally and most terribly is a monstrous beast, that swims the river, and is truly our most treacherous obstacle.
The boat person is wearing a loose cape with a large hood, that wraps and protects her.
I need to make eye contact, to establish a strong connection in our peril, and discover a strickingly beauty, strong willed, female….that adds to my problems in immediate attraction. Just then there is vicious roar and thunderous crash as the Boar makes its presence known
I got stuff to write.
But also, I was disappointed with my incorporation and use of the suno back band, and the lyric sing.
Put together anyway. Got to test the player, play my guitar, write a little bit, And post in lyric forum… not bad.
Really impressed with all responses! Helpful too.
Bill
Last edited by Bill Draper; 01/10/26 03:25 AM.
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With that hook , its needs to be some kinda outlaw. His a wild man on the loose , Probably in the Louisiana delta
Last edited by bennash; 01/10/26 07:28 AM.
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.
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With that hook , its needs to be some kinda outlaw. His a wild man on the loose , Probably in the Louisiana delta Yes. You are right. The hook is the quickest draw in a gun fight. The focus. Thanks Frank. Bill
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We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,426 Likes: 82
Top 200 Poster
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Joined: Jan 2017
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We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,426 Likes: 82
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2002
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Joined: Jul 2002
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Like a wild river boar, I don’t scare easy or stall
Head down, tusks out, crashin’ straight through it all
I been cut by the rocks, I been soaked in the storm
Yeah I live and I love like a wild river boar
that work for ya , yup torn tendon hurts grumpy
You write the verses
Last edited by bennash; 01/10/26 03:42 PM.
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.
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Joined: Jul 2002
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You put two bullets in me, caught me by surprise.
I got three bullets off but graze wounds
That’s not the direction I want to go.
But gunfights bring clarity.
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ahhh storyline
the wild boar is a pirate in league with the ferryman...pirate threatens the ferry....ferryman demands more $ in the middle of the river and rowing help ?? to make it to safety
they pay, and later the wild boar and ferryman have a drink together to celebrate their profitable business
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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That’s bringing it around, mister. What’s the charge?
Thanks John V ! I like the narrative. I'll think on it. takes me awhile. kinda slooow.
Bill
Last edited by Bill Draper; 01/10/26 05:52 PM.
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You put two bullets in me, caught me by surprise.
I got three bullets off but graze wounds
That’s not the direction I want to go.
But gunfights bring clarity. ha ha ha , You want gun fights so early ?
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.
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Burying this post until you guys stop
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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"I have dreamed a lot of things that have come true for other people, because I didn't take the action to make them come true for me." –Brian Austin Whitney
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