JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum Looking for title/hook

How about. Bury the Hatchet.

An indigeneous tradition
Mental ammunition

Really want to catch it?
Bury the hatchet

Interesting idea. Hatchet and catch it are probably the only two words that rhyme. lol

maybe in keeping with the theme (a divided country).........maybe we need to bury something else?

Like a hammer, or a keyboard? LOL

An inspiring condition
Engine of volition

Think it’s all just bat shite
Bury the hatchet

Hammer out those perfect chords
With lyrics wrote
On backlit keyboards

It will all go so much better
With much less baggage
And battling blunder

Just bury the axe
Six feet under!

I been swinging at shadows, losing ground
Every grudge makes a heavier sound
So I laid my anger in the dirt and thunder
Bury the axe—six feet under.

Perhaps redemption with yourself. or peace with your self

Verses = why the anger built
Chorus = the decision to end it
Bridge = the cost of not burying it

Pretty good angle

Bill, when I look at what you wrote in your first post, the first thing that comes to mind is how people in power — or even in relationships, families, and societies — often push for “peace” not to heal, but to avoid accountability.

In that sense, the hatchet feels like forgiveness being demanded before the truth is told.

To me, the lines read like this:
- Indigenous tradition: something sacred being misused
- Mental ammunition: words, narratives, even gaslighting
- Really want to catch it?: do you actually want the truth?
- Bury the hatchet: silence as control

Is that the direction you were imagining for this?

Chorus
Really want to catch it?
Bury the hatchet
Swallow every word you said
Really want to patch it?
Bury the hatchet
Dig the truth up later instead

Verse
Lessons unlearned, apologies thin
Forgiveness asked before admitting sin
We call it healing, we call it growth
But silence is the price of both

Bridge
Peace without truth is a loaded gun
Pointed inward when the damage is done

Outro
Bury the hatchet, not the knife
That’s still cutting through my life

sounds about right peace with yourself -

coupla minor amendments to consider

Chorus
You have to catch it
To bury the hatchet
Swallow every word that's said

forgiveness asked before admission of sin

peace without truth is a loaded gun
laying in wait for its moment to come

Dang impressed with all the rhymes with hatchet.. haha.....I'm watching you guys

LOL I would cheat and go shopping here...our AI from back in the day

https://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.c...rfect&org1=syl&org2=l&org3=y

https://www.rhymezone.com/r/rhyme.c...e=nry&org1=syl&org2=l&org3=y

Wait. This is interesting. I woke this morning and grabbed a pen....scribbled a lyric and got suno help. This:
https://suno.com/s/nBzJTYh2lTI0GoHD


I found my brain
came back around
When I dug a hole
six foot down

I discovered
A world of wander
When I buried my keyboard
Six foot under

Thats when I
Discovered my neighbour
who knew some of the world
Much to my favor


Across the fence
In greener yards
It really wasn't
Very hard


Discovered my neighbour
Down the Road
Gave me a hand
with a heavy load


Digging a hole for
For that computer keyboard

Hey Bill, you kind of changed the subject. I'll take a look at the new direction. This is what I jotted down but it's still based on what you initially posted. And I liked John's suggestions:

Bury The Hatchet

Verse 1
Bury the hatchet, smile and agree
Shake hands quick, don’t look at me
An indigenous tradition, borrowed and bent
Something once sacred, now cheaply spent
Mental ammunition, pick a side
Careful words with a blade inside
They say “it’s over,” say “let it rest”
But the ground still shifts in my chest

Pre-Chorus
They call it peace if no one speaks
Call it strength when the truth is weak
Every silence leaves its mark
Every lie still hits the dark

Chorus
You’ve got to catch it
Before you bury the hatchet
Words go down like lead
Forgiveness begged before the truth is said
Peace without truth is a loaded gun
Just waiting on a nervous thumb

Verse 2
Apologies thin as paper shields
Signed in ink but never sealed
They want closure, they want it clean
No fingerprints, no in-between
History edits what hurts the most
Cuts the crime, preserves the ghost
If “I’m sorry” skips the crime
It’s just another borrowed line

Pre-Chorus
They say “time heals everything”
While the open wound still stings
You don’t heal what you won’t face
You just hide it someplace

Chorus
You’ve got to catch it
Before you bury the hatchet
Words go down like lead
Forgiveness begged before the truth is said
Peace without truth is a loaded gun
Just waiting on a nervous thumb

Bridge
Peace isn’t quiet, it isn’t still
It isn’t fear dressed up as will
Call it mercy, call it grace
If it skips the truth, it’s just delay

Break (shout/chant)
Say it plain
Say it loud
Say it now

Final Chorus
You’ve got to catch it
Before you bury the hatchet
Don’t let the past stay dead
Forgiveness earned when the truth is said
Peace without truth is a loaded gun
And it always fires on someone

Outro
Bury the hatchet, not the blade
That’s still cutting what we never say

Rob, that's a lot of damn words buddy!!!

I still think you can say the same thing without the word "hatchet".. only because it's hard to sing and it's a visual I don't want to see when I'm singing it.

a small thought............. I know "bury the hatchet" but that's means you're just burying and hiding it, you can always dig it back up again so that's not really solving much. Maybe something more like you break the hatchet in half, you get half, I get half, and now even if we wanted to we can't hurt each other.

Mind you, I had to dig it up again to join in this Very good JPF discussion.

The above was prompted by Kay-lynn who suggested burying something else more rhyme friendly. A hammer. and more startling and challenging....The computer keyboard.

So I went with the keyboard, still on my brain after a nights sleep.


Carry on.
Now I want to take all of your suggestions above, and write another version, with as many of these lyric ideas as I can. And do the music.

Bill

Woops . I'm falling behind here. Fantastic stuff Kay and Rob.

Some things are dead but not buried

Some things should stay buried

Some days we dig them back up<<<

if you sweep something under the rug, someone will eventually trip over it.

These are not lines... just thoughts.

Dead and buried, some would say
Sometimes it don't stay that way
Try and sweep it under rugs
Comes back talking loud and tough

John, this is great!

Dead and buried, some would say
Sometimes it don't stay that way
we Try and sweep it under rugs
but walking over it day by day
when is enough , enough?




Comes back talking loud and tough<<<< good line but should be stronger (?)

easy when you're channeling K

Did you want this to be a song about ppl fighting on line, or fighting in person, or being passive aggressive...............and how they resolve differences?

Apologies thin as paper shields
Signed in ink but never sealed
They want closure, they want it clean
No fingerprints, no in-between
History edits what hurts the most
Cuts the crime, preserves the ghost
If “I’m sorry” skips the crime
It’s just another borrowed line


Sorry's are as thin as paper shields
signed in ink but never sealed
I want closure, I want it clean
no fingerprints, no in-between <<<(necessary?)
memories edit what hurts the most



MmMmmMm thinking.....................................

Bill, you created a great song. I love it. Is the song done or what exactly are we looking for? Sorry, but I'm lost.

thought this was the heart of what the (Rob) lyric was trying to say

History edits what hurts the most
Cuts the crime, preserves the ghost

the ghost of unresolved differences that comes back to haunt us

True John, but Bill started the thread and posted a finished song. I'm not sure what he's still looking for.

Oh crap, my fault, didn't listen to the musical version. ok I get it now!


V1
I found my brain
came back around
When I dug a hole
six foot down

I discovered a world
A world of wander (wonder?)
When I buried my keyboard
Six foot under


Thats when I
Discovered my neighbour
who knew some of the world
Much to my favor

Across the fence
In greener yards
It really wasn't
Very hard

CHORUS GOES HERE??<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


Discovered my neighbour
Down the Road
Gave me a hand
with a heavy load


Digging a hole for
For that computer keyboard



********************************

kinda vague what the neighbor helped you with. I was hoping so some visuals but hey, not my song.

Thats when I
Found my neighbour
who knew some of the world
and did me a favor

Said we've both got our own grass
mine is greener but the fence is crap
I'll build your's if you water mine
just shake my hand we won't have to climb

CHORUS GOES HERE??<<<<<<<<<<<<<<


Discovered my neighbour
Down the Road
Gave me a hand
with a heavy load


Digging a hole for
For that computer keyboard

Perhaps they had a fight online and the were slugging it out over lawns and fences (metaphors)..........and the listener doesn't realize til the end it's about putting away the damn keyboard....................... ???

No! Rob, John, and Kay-lynn.....Please pick up the flow with Rob's lyric and ideas flowing from this.

Bill

Kay-lynn:
Thanks so much for your three posts....I will work w those, much appreciated.

Rob, Kay-lynn, John.....you are exploring rich territory.....please continue!!

Bill

Continue from here. This is the place the creative flow was interrupted. Pick it up again.

include this as well

not sure I like the ghost reference, it's a little too artsy?

Maybe you should just call it "get of my lawn?........ LOL love that movie.

They';re fighting over something trivial, the fence, the yard, but they never took the time to actually leave their house and meet at the fence.
When they do they realize how stupid they were and I'll bury mine if you bury yours (keyboard)

wheww makes my brain hurt.

I like the line "history edits, what hurts the most"

That could be it's very own song

sure describes my life ... hahha

Ok, I just generated music for the lines I wrote. The one's that were based on Bill's very first post in this thread. I'm not sure this is good but maybe it's ok. It's kind of catchy.

https://suno.com/s/KmwV66CBJmQ3sbmA

Well Rob has proved me wrong again!!.... In this case, hatchet actually works. Well done my friend.

sounds a little like my favorite tictock song.........."you gotta walk that walk, not just talk that talk" song

Your feedback put a big smile on my face. That word "whoa" makes a huge difference in Suno. i love to use it together with the prompt "catchy". You almost always get something like this.

Thanks Rob! Good story creation from title hook...amazing work. Very fast off the mark. Good illustration of all the components of a lyric and how it all fits to bring out a clear storyline. Taking notes, me. Really encouraging to see the workshop aspect of the lyric forum happening....so many different ways to interpret things....and then having a music tool like suno to give it a spin. Liking all this.
Thanks bennash, John , Rob and Kay-lynn for jumping in and spinning things out...nice.
Bill

Hey Bill, don't call it quits here. This was just my interpretation. I have a feeling others here are going in a slightly different direction with this. Maybe my rough demo helps with the brainstorming process.

Thanks Rob. There is a lot of content here. And you are right....not done yet. Can let it settle. More to come....yes.
Bill

.

Sorry Japov, i saw your lines, but didn’t fully absorb them, came back to read them again, but now gone. Was part of it. Bury the hatchet in my chest?

That’s darned powerful. Like betrayal big time. Like bury the hatchet, fine you are forgiven….and whomp…you are dead!

I like Rob B. music....... but it sounds really close to "lightening and the thunder" blah blah whatever that song is.

Gonna have to decide if this is a pop song, a country song, a story song, or just a bunch of kewl lines..............