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"Already Broken" by Dave Gill (c) 2024 (rough draft)

[V1]
There's a bunch of trouble
there are problems galore
and somehow it seems to find me
when I walk out the door
even though I duck and weave
and keep a smile on my face
there is always that one person
trying to shadow my space

Oh no. Oh yeah. It's true

[V2]
I plan to keep it civil
I don't mean to offend
but I gotta tell ya buddy
this is finally the end
take your vitriol and poison
and get out of my view
I got plenty of my own
and I don't need none from you!


[CH]
'cause
You can't break
what's already broken
Try as you may
and as hard as you might
You can't take
what's already stolen
I hope that what I'm sayin'
helps you to see the light
You can spit up all your venom
You can curse and you can shout
at the end of all your bitchin'
you're the one to lose out
I realize this prob'ly ain't
what you might be hopin'
But man, you can't break
what's already broken!

Hi Dave!

I like the way this builds....roaring by the end. yeah.

Add another-

Oh no. Oh yeah. It's true

after verse 2.

Thanks, Bill.

I debated whether or not to even post this one for fear of ruffling feathers or poking a bear but, honestly? this was inspired by many posts on this board, so I actually WANT feedback and collab on this to make it a viable song. I think it rings true for a lot of people out there and speaks to the "You don't know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes" mentality.

I dunno. I know there's many on here whose music is their bread and butter and I'm just out here playing in their sandbox. But I'm having a great time so, thanks for putting up with me. :-)

Anyways, I appreciate the listen and the sugg. I will certainly include that addition to the lyric.

Still a work in progress.

Peace,

Dave

Just some thoughts...


The pious and wealthy
Exploit the meek
Tyrants subdue
The worthless and weak
Inequitable fraud
Dares to be spoken
The fortunate few
Can't break the broken

Prospect, value, potential stolen
Beaten and broken... Beaten and broken
Can't break the broken

A newborn cries
Numbered at birth
Free will denied
Subdue the Earth
The vast majority
Without a voice
Would stand on their own
If given a choice

The Spirit aspires to discover
One without the other... One without the other

Liars and thieves, the privileged chosen
Prospect, value, potential stolen
Beaten and broken... Beaten and broken
Can't break the broken

Wow, JAPOV. That goes far deeper and darker than my original for sure but I can definitely work with this.

Thank you for your "thoughts". :-)

Peace,

Dave

Ok, JAPOV...

I tried to go with your theme and got this:

[V1]
The pious and the wealthy
Exploiting the meek
Tyrants steadily subdue
The worthless and the weak
Corrupted inequalities
but nothing outspoken
The fortunate few
can't break the broken

[CH]
Liars and thieves
the privileged chosen
Prospect, value
potential stolen
ashes to ashes
with embers still smokin'
They can't break
what's already broken

[V2]
A newborn cries
Neutered at birth
Free will denied
Subdue the Earth
The vast majority
Without a voice
Won't stand on their own
Even given the choice!

[BR]
The Spirit aspires
to discover
One goes on
without the other
a tearful cry
for one another
each goes on
without the other

[CH]
Liars and thieves
the privileged chosen
Prospect, value
potential stolen
ashes to ashes
with embers still smokin'
They can't break
what's already broken


Peace,

Dave