JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 I Go Spiral

mind over material or some such. I read in a how to book that its a good idea, you get an idea for a lyric.....write it....the whole thing. get the idea out. and done and edit later.

Go viral rhymes w Go spiral...big whoop! lol

Verse 1
I tell stories
To who will listen
I want to write a good book one day
I abhor, them that say I am boring
I'll never go viral that way.

Verse 2
But lately I find
Words escape me
Could it be what they say is true
I adore the mirage of world touring
My dream of go viral in play

Prechorus
What is this scheme
this repetitious dream
Down and down I'm towed

Chorus
Falling failing falling failing falling failing
I go, I go.
I go spiral.


Bridge
In parallel magical halls
A voice of vision calls
Never go viral
Neither go spiral
Be who you are
Thats all.

If you're saying you just wrote all of this down basically non stop, pretty good start, Bill

Steve

Thanks for the read and comment Steve. The theory is grab the idea and its parts, and craft in lyric form, if it fits or not. then one can revisit after it sits a bit, which this one did for me. Thinking I might try the bridge as a chorus, for example. Thanks!
Bill

I spent a couple hours getting AI music for this. meh...so so. It exposes the things I like and dislike about the lyric and possible music. Which is a start. I'll keep working at it. And then sing a version of my own hopefully.

https://www.udio.com/songs/mkyKV1v1dEf3kNotfqvfvW

Just copied to suno. took 1 minute. I like it!
https://suno.com/song/d24fbfbf-0f35-47b5-bbb8-c4f0779e14e5

I think it's about too many things at once

I think the verses tell a decent story, somebody who would like to be heard, be counted, but realizes that's probably impossible. Can all relate to that

The spiraling part, other than a clever rhyme scheme doesn't support it

I think why your not hearing what you want is because it's about too many things.

Sometimes hearing it back you realize there's a disconnect there , when you might not see it or hear it going in

There's plenty of songs where the lyrics don't matter or make sense, but your working with a device that the lyric is your only contribution

Pick one idea and follow it all the way through, I think when you listen back you'll get it

Thanks Fd ! That puts it in perspective. So true. And Ai...it needs the direction...its intelligence is afterall, artificial...lol.

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