JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum Grandpa said. (looking for feedback)

Verse
We don't burn books in America
In God we trust thats our way
Children don't go hungry in America
Is that just something I remember
My grandpa used to say
Verse2
We don't put tax on taxes
In America we don't do things that way
There's death before dishonor for an American
Is that just some thing I remember
My grandpa used to say
Bridge
He talked about a war that made heroes out of men
A thing called the depression you know he mentioned that Now and again
It wasn't the fever he was just a dying breed
He's resting in peace now in the land of the free
Verse 3
You know a man is worth his gold in America
As long as he can keep things his way
You never ride a fence always work for your pay
That's a few things I remember my grandpa used to say


You know old gramps he sure loved that good ole usa

Verse
We don't burn books in America
In God we trust thats our way
Children don't go hungry in America..... Children Shouldn't go hungry in America , They go hungry everyday , So your line is not true IMHO
Is that just something I remember
My grandpa used to say
Verse2
We don't put tax on taxes...... I'm not getting that .. We always pay our taxes , Makes sense to me
In America we don't do things that way
There's death before dishonor for an American
Is that just some thing I remember
My grandpa used to say
Bridge
He talked about a war that made heroes out of men
A thing called the depression you know he mentioned that Now and again
It wasn't the fever he was just a dying breed
He's resting in peace now in the land of the free
Verse 3
You know a man is worth his gold in America
As.lomg as he can keep things his way
You never ride a fence always work for your pay
That's a few things I remember my grandpa used to say


You know old gramps he sure loved that gold ole usa


Rest looks good

It's just people were taking better care of in my grandpa days and we pay taxes on taxes all over the place look at your phone bill it just has a thing says other taxes on it. I don't know. Thanks for the feed back

No doubt taxes on taxes , Don't get me started , Not sure it comes across . Maybe or it stops listeners in there tracks on trying to figure that out. Maybe not
You need more feedback if it works . it tripped me up, if you have to think to hard on what it means

Ya if it tripped you up you may not be alone so I appreciate it

I googled what does it mean when you say tax on taxes. There was nothing
Your probably going for their vibe



He's the cuurent guy on Grandpa songs

A virtue of a Lyric is that it stays on theme, doesn't just Rhyme for the sake of Rhyme, with Lines full of words that don't maintain a coherence of theme, just manage to 'land' on the Rhyme-word.
You stay on theme with this one.
It is difficult to write Song with a philosophical message. For me, they seldom 'work'. There's too much reality to have to account for. Almost every Line, if it rings true, also demands context, gets context from the reality we know, which sometimes contests the philosophical allegations.
I'm not sure you intended to question the grandfather's belief in the mythical allegations, or that the Singer-Character had begun to question them, after his grandfather passed away, as indicated in the Refrain-Type Chorus, the Line ending Verses I and II, and, with a variation, Verse III.
Note that the actual 'execution' of a Song, the singing of the Lyric to a Melody, can bring a Lyric up in entertainment value. If this Song could provoke a lot of discussion that could be another point of merit.
Presenting a Lyric on the written page, for a reader, can have a different effect than 'consuming' a Lyric by hearing the words sung.

TITLE: "Grandpa Used To Say"

Verse I:
We don't burn books in America! (Book-banning is in the news right now. We DO burn books. A meme says: The people who burn books are never the good guys.)
In God we trust; That's our way! (The Nazi Party, in command of the German Army, had 'God With Us' on their belt buckles.)
Children don't go hungry in America! (One in five or six American children goes to bed hungry, comes to school hungry, goes home, hungry.)
Is that just something I remember, (Yes, it was the mythical America we thought we lived in.)
my Grandpa Used To Say?

Verse II:
We don't put tax on taxes! (Social Security deductions from every paycheck earned in a working lifetime, deducted after Taxes, paid into the Federal Insurance Contributions Act (FICA) can be Taxed again, as it is paid back to you in retirement.)
In America we don't do things that way! (You mention the phonebill. Jeff Bezos made $10 billion dollars in 2018, net, not gross, and didn't pay a dime of Taxes. Only the poor and middle class still pay Taxes. Those rich people who own, those rich companies who got all those Tax Cuts, who are inflating the price of everything they sell, don't pay Taxes any more. They still get 'refunds', if that's the right word, and subsidies, and immediate loan forgiveness.)
There's death before dishonor for an American!
Is that just some thing I remember,
my Grandpa Used To Say?

Bridge
He talked about a war that made heroes out of men, (How men behave in war is often not heroic.)
a thing called The Depression; you know he mentioned that now and again. (October 1929; banking practices, Predatory Lending, collapsed the global economy. 1933 Glass-Steagall Act prohibits Professional Lenders from writing Mortgage Documents with built in Foreclosure clauses, and getting Amateur Borrowers to sign them, legally committing to cooperate when the Foreclosure happened. 1993, Glass-Steagall is repealed. Bankers become banksters, again, and by 2008, Predatory Lending collapses the global economy again. A Great Recession, the media and politicians call it, to keep from panicking the public, but it is, as gauged by financial losses and economic disruption, a Great Depression, on a global scale.)
It wasn't the fever! He was just a dying breed! (For most of that generation, called America's Greatest Generation, it was never revealed to them that their mythical America was not real. They are a dying breed, taking their memories of realities with them. Talk to them if you know them. See what they tell you of what they knew or believed.)
He's resting in peace now in the land of the free. (There's a report out on loss of Freedom around the world, country by country. America is listed as losing 18%, I think, of its Freedom since 2011, or some recent date.)

Verse 3
You know a man is worth his gold in America,
as.long as he can keep things his way. (lomg - long) ('worth his gold'? 'as long as...' As long as he believes in the myth? I'm not sure what this Line hopes to say.)
You never ride a fence; always work for your pay!
That's (just) a few things I remember my Grandpa Used To Say. (Singer-Character says 'just' in VI and VII. Leaving it out in VIII could indicate the Singer-Character hasn't decided about whether Grandpa's America was mythical. Having it in the Line doesn't necessarily mean he's (or she's; a female singer for this Lyric might have a powerful effect) made that decision yet, or, depending on the listener's point of view, that he/she has.

You know old gramps, he sure loved that gold ole usa. (gold or good? Gold could have meaning so I'm not assuming you meant good.)

Id kill the tax line Everybody hates them , freedom isn't free , Or some line. I highly doubt Grandpa like taxes, Nobody does
My assumtion its going back to World War 2 on grandpa 90 years old , They'd be great grandpas , When really its Viet Nam Vets are grandpa now 1965 or so .There not like World War 2 generation by any means.

The passing of the WWII generation
They are dying quickly—according to US Department of Veterans Affairs statistics, 167,284 of the 16 million Americans who served in World War II are alive in 2022

I wouldn't change a thing. I can understand immediately you're writing with a melody or cadence in mind. Many lyricists don't appear to work with an interesting melody. Stay with it, it's good, and believe me, I DO know the difference...

This is a very interesting lyric and I wouldn't make any changes...(just fix lomg)

You're just making some statements without commenting on their validity....every one of them has probably been said before...

It's irrelevant if they are correct or truthful because you are bringing your grandpa into the conversation in a questioning way...very cool
and it is easy to assume that your grandpa may have said them in a different era when those statements would be believable

They could also be considered statements of hope and with the right melody/phrasing can take on a different meaning...

Excellent writing


Steve

its just a discussion , The audience is 23 year olds in 2023 on targetting , I guess it works on grandpas now at say 60 years old and born in 1963, or say what I'm getting on this lyric World War 2 Grandpas at 90 year old. The depression years was the 90 year olds. Would kids get it ? I don't know on Roosevelt back then. Has there been a new grandpaw song since Riley Green did I wish Granpas never died ? I'm not sure . 2019 it was done , pretty new . He don't focus on Grandpa really .

Thanks for spending that kind of time on my song I appreciate it. My grandpa was sold on the American way that may have never been. WW2 vet. Thanks again I appreciate it

I appreciate all the time you took and really analyzing the song really more than I ever did to be honest. I just tried to paint a picture of my grandpa's memories and how going through a war and living the American life in the 50 he just couldn't believe the turn for the worse it all took. Thank you again.

I get the song on world War 2 , I'm just thinking kids today , Who knows Hitler movies are all over Net Flix , they might Richard

If kids don't know about WW2 and they're great grandfather's we are all doing them a disservice of not passing down they're memories. I guess I wasn't trying to write a 2023 hit just trying to pass it on. I don't know it's definitely song you have to me in the mood to take in but I listen to a lot of Willie and Waylon.

Their

if we keep going down the roads were on they'll know World War 3 and 4
Ok I get it ole Willie and Waylon