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How Many Heartbreaks


VERSE 1

You stopped givin' me the lovin' I need
started kissin' me on the cheek
That's when I had a clue that someone else,
had come between me and you

You got caught up in your lies
So it was useless to deny
Baby, I really didn't intend it
I began hearin' again and again

Pre-chorus

My heart's through and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out

Chorus

How many memories of their embrace
how many tears fallin' from my face
and just how many heartbreaks, could I take?

VERSE 2

Why didn't you just pack your bags and go,
instead of rippin' out my soul?
How would you have felt if the tables turned
and you were the one gettin' burned?

I've cried until I felt raw inside
time after time, after time
Now I'm puttin' all your games to an end
You won't be playin' my heart at your whim

Pre-chorus

My heart's through and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out

Chorus

How many memories of their embrace
how many tears fallin' from my face
and just how many heartbreaks, could I take?

Bridge

Mama said if the bad outweighs the good
be sure that man is no good

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out

Chorus

How many memories of their embrace
how many tears fallin' from my face
and just how many heartbreaks, could I take?

Coda

My heart's through and there's no doubt
I've had enough and now I'm out

(C) 2005 Joan Thompson


any suggestions on changing line 7 ,vs 1?-i don't think it's right

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 07-17-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 07-18-2005).]

Believe it or not, when men break up - they are more depressed than the woman even if it is their fault.

Stand back from the song. The only thing coming through is the heartbreak.

Not any of the LOVE that would make his heartbreak.

You ran away from some rhyming opportunities.

You stopped givin' me the lovin' I need
Lately you've been kissin' me on the cheek
That's when I had a clue
There's somebody new
Comin' between me and you . . .

Don't use the word "lies" too many times.

BigAppleLyricist

I would agree that the hearbreak dominates to much , but he's had several affairs so that's why I'm stressing the heartbreak

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-03-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-03-2005).]

Joan, you have too many confusing things going on.
FIRST a song gets ONE FOCUS ONLY. Put this on a piece of paper near your computer.
ONE FOCUS ONLY!
You talk to a [1] person.
Or you talk to us.
Or you talk to yourself.
Or you talk to God.

In your song you began talking to an individual about them.
"You stopped givin' me the lovin' I need
lately, you've been kissin' me on the cheek"

But in your song you SWITCHED and began talking to US about them.
"How many visions of their embrace"

You left out words:
"there's somebody new
commin' me and you"

Didn't you really want to say:
"there's somebody new
comin' BETWEEN me and you"

Then I figured out that you are quoting your errant lover but all we HEAR is what SOUNDS LIKE an apology from you"

"Baby, I'm so sorry-
it just happened
I soon heard again"

The "I soon heard again" tacked on after the quote is what I call "Pennsylvania Dutch" because it's ass backwards.

What lovers do is NOT abusing your soul.
They are abusing YOU the person.
Leave the soul to a more spiritual realm.


How Many Heartbreaks
Copyright by Joan Thompson

VERSE 1

You stopped givin' me the lovin' I need
lately, you've been kissin' me on the cheek
That's when I had a clue
there's somebody new
commin' me and you

You got caught up in your lies
So it was useless for you to deny
Baby, I'm so sorry-
it just happened
I soon heard again

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out

Chorus

How many visions of their embrace
how many tears fallin' from my face
and just how many heartbreaks, could I take?

VERSE 2

Why didn't you just pack your bags and go?
instead you used and abused my soul
How would you have felt
if the tables turned
and you had got burned?

I've cried until I felt raw deep inside
time after time, after time, after time
Your games come to an end
You won't be playin'
my heart at your whim

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out

Chorus

How many visions of their embrace
how many tears fallin' from my face
and just how many heartbreaks, could I take?

Bridge

Mama said if the bad outweighs the good
be sure that man is no good

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out

Chorus

How many visions of their embrace
how many tears fallin' from my face
and just how many heartbreaks, could I take?

My heart's through and there's no doubt
I've had enough and now I'm out

(C) 2005 Joan Thompson

BigAppleLyricist

I didn't get what you are saying about the "How many visions of their embrace" line?, i see her at times envisioning another woman holding her man, i did leave out 'between', here's another rewrite-I think line 8, first vs is weak,so i'm trying to think of a better one

How Many Heartbreaks


VERSE 1

You stopped givin' me the lovin' I need
lately, you've been kissin' me on the cheek
That's when I had a clue
there's somebody new
commin' between me and you

You got caught up in your lies
So it was useless for you to deny
you said, "I'm sorry-
it just happened"
You used that line time after time

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many visions of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

VERSE 2

Why didn't you just pack your bags and go?
You used my soul until it took it's toll
How would you have felt
if the tables turned
and you had got burned?

I've cried until I felt raw deep inside
time after time, after time, after time
Your games come to an end
You won't be playin'
my heart at your whim

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many visions of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

Bridge

Mama said if the bad outweighs the good
be sure that man is no good

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many visions of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

My heart's through and there's no doubt
I've had enough and now I'm out








[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 07-20-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 07-21-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 07-21-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-03-2005).]

BigApplelyricist
-thinking about using the line " you used that line time again' in vs 1, line 8, but is that Penn dutch too?

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 07-20-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 07-20-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 07-21-2005).]

REWRITE


How Many Heartbreaks


Verse 1

You stopped givin' me the lovin' I need
and started kissin' me on the cheek
That's when I had a clue
there was someone new
commin' between me and you

The night you got caught in all your lies
I cried until I felt raw deep inside
and time after time
you were two-timing me
now I'm drawin' the line

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

Verse 2

I always thought that our love was so strong
Never thought I would see this day come
How would you have felt
if the tables turned
and you had gotten burned?

Tried to take what was wrong and make it right
because I loved you more than my own life
Now it's come to an end
You won't be playin'
my heart at your whim

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

My heart's through and there's no doubt
I've had enough and now I'm out




[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 07-31-2005).]

THIS TIME read this carefully.

A song gets ONE FOCUS. In your song you are talking to an individual who broke your heart. So you use the word "YOU."

You obviously SWITCHED THE FOCUS to US with the next line:
"How many thoughts of their embrace?"

It must be instead:
"How many thoughts of YOUR embrace."

Do you get it now?

Pick a FOCUS and stick with it.



[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 08-01-2005).]

Changing the words from "How many thoughts of their embrace" to "How many thoughts of your embrace" does not actually change the focus, it changes the meaning. Instead of thoughts about the other two embracing, it changes it to thoughts simply about the embrace of the one person, as if they are longing for that again.

Personally I can see a change in focus between the verse and the pre-chorus/chorus. The verse clearly speaks to the ex, where as the pre-chorus/chorus seems to be personal thoughts about the situation

I also dont see the need for the love leading to the heartbreak to be expressed in the song. A song can simply just be about heartbreak, who says it needs to show through? The love simply has no need to be there if the author hasn't added it, still has enough and suggests enough on its own and I think its evident of the loss the person feels, which is itself a testament to the love.

I like the song as it is and think the slight changes so far have improved it.

From the few posts I've read on this board so far I think you need to open your mind a bit more to the possibilities of lyrics and songs outside of your strict structured comfort zone BigAppleLyricist. Thats how innovation occurs.

A song gets ONE FOCUS. You pick a FOCUS. You talk to US or HIM but not BOTH.

If you say "Their Embrace" you are no longer talking to the cheater. You are talking to us, or God, or yourself.

The purpose of the focus is to prevent confusion.

It's not a matter of a strict structured comfort zone. It's a matter of professionalism.

bIGAPPLELYRICIST
When I wrote -'Thoughts of their embrace'- the woman is talking to the cheater-asking him , how many thoughts could she take of other woman embracing him - how that came across her mind-the whole chorus is about the heartbreak she's experienced.I'm not good at using imagery when writing I hope to improve on this. I did another rewrite.

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-01-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-01-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-01-2005).]

How Many Heartbreaks


Verse 1

You stopped givin' me the lovin' I need
kisses went from the lips to the cheek
That's when I had a clue
there was someone new
commin' between me and you

Finally, you got caught in all your lies
I cried until I felt raw inside
and time after time
you were two-timin' me
now I'm drawin' the line

Pre-chorus

My heart's through , and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?


Verse 2

Tried to hold on to you and make it right
because I had loved you more than life
How would you have felt
if the tables turned
and you had gotten burned?

I never thought I would see this day come
Now I know that I have to move on
This is how it ends
You won't be playin'
my heart at your whim

Pre-chorus

My heart's through and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

Pre-chorus

My heart's through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

My heart's through and there's no doubt
I've had enough and now I'm out

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-01-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-03-2005).]

How many thoughts of their embrace?

You still don't get it! In the English language the word their embrace means TWO people embracing.
If you MEAN:
How many thoughtS of HER embraceS. [plural]

You can say:
And every thought of HER embrace.
SEE it is a plural thought expressed as a singular for "agreement."
Thoughts - Embraces.

[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 08-02-2005).]

How Many Heartbreaks

[Verse 1]
You stopped givin' me the lovin' I need,
And started kissin' me on the cheek
That's when I had a clue
There was someone new
Comin' between . . . me and you.

You've been finally caught
In all of your lies
I cried until I felt raw inside
And night after night
You were two-timin' me
Now I'm drawin' the line

[Pre-chorus]
My love for you is through,
And there is no doubt,
I've had enough, and now I'm out.

[Chorus]
How many tears . . . fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts . . . of her warm embrace?
How many heartbreaks . . .
How many heartbreaks . . .
Overlookin' . . . your mistakes?!

Verse 2
Tried to hold on to you and make it right
Because I had loved you more than my life
How would you have felt
If the tables were turned
And it was you who had gotten burned?

I never thought I would see this day come
Now I know I just gotta move on
This is how it ends
You won't be playin' again.

[Too many heart references]

[Pre-chorus]
My love for you is through,
And there is no doubt
I've had enough and now I'm out.

Chorus
How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of her warm embrace?
How many heartbreaks . . .
How many heartbreaks . . .
Overlookin' . . . your mistakes?!

[Pre-chorus]
My love is through,
And there is no doubt,
I've had enough and now I'm out.

Chorus
How many tears . . . fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of her warm embrace?
How many heartbreaks . . .
How many heartbreaks . . .
Overlookin' . . . your mistakes!?

My love is through
And there is no doubt,
I've had enough and now I'm out.



[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 08-02-2005).]

I dont think you get it, yes you're quite right in the fact that their embrace would mean two people embracing in the english language. You really are stubborn and immune to actually listening to someone explaining. I mean the writer of the song explained the specific line and the thoughts behind it to you, which was obvious at any rate. Yet you still cant get it.

How many thoughts of their embrace?

The song is all about a guy/girl being cheated on, therefore they're thinking of the embrace of their lover and the person thats cheating on them with them. I think if you dont get this very simple lyric which is made abundantly clear from the songs previous lyrics you should be giving out less advice and working on your own understanding.


To rewrite a song of someone elses without even understanding a simple lyric like that and therefore the meaning of the song just shouldn't be done. It shouldn't really be done at all, surely this is for help with a persons songwriting, not someone else rewriting it all for them to suit their own desires. Personally I think JTHOMPs version is pretty good and has been getting progressively better as she rewrites it on her own. Your version bigapple totally changes a lot of the song, poor.

[This message has been edited by Duncann (edited 08-02-2005).]

Duncann said: "The song is all about a guy/girl being cheated on, therefore they're thinking of the embrace of their lover and the person thats cheating on them with them."

Well, I don’t get the “their embrace”, either.

Perhaps if it were staged – in the Verse and Pre-Chorus the spotlight is on Joan singing directly to Mr. Cheat – and then, in the Chorus, we get two spotlights – Joan in one spotlight singing directly to the audience about “them” and “their” relationship (Mr. Cheat and Ms. Bimbo Buxom, who are now standing in a separate spotlight).

Is this the way you see it?

Thanks.

Greg Paul

Duncann, I am not an idiot. I know what she means, but what we HEAR sounds like a change in focus from singing to him ---to singing ABOUT him and his lover.
Everybody has a choice to keep or sweep suggested rewrites.
If you [6 contributions] ever get around to posting a song, I'll be sure not to EDIT it.

[This message has been edited by BigAppleLyricist (edited 08-02-2005).]

I think this reads well. The rhyme scheme doesn't seem to be consistent across verses.

Verse 1a:
need/cheek
clue/new/you

Which is AABBB

Verse 1b:
lies/inside
time/me/line

Which is AABxB

Verse 2a:
right/life
felt/turned/burned

Which is AAxBB

Verse 2b:
come/on
ends/playin'/whim

Which is AAxxx? I'm not sure...

There's no hard rule about rhyme schemes, but if you're looking for sing-a-long quality, you might want to make those all the same.

I was also a bit confused by the "their" in the chorus, mostly because of all the "you" in the verses. Here's a possible solution:

How many tears have fallen from my face?
How many times have I missed your embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

Always up to you!


[This message has been edited by DungBeetle (edited 08-02-2005).]

[This message has been edited by DungBeetle (edited 08-02-2005).]

...Bigapple you still don't GET IT, IT'S VERY SIMPLE A--the woman has been cheated on not ONCE, But MULTIPLE times by DIFFERENT woman , B--the thought crosses her mind at times about how she sees her husband in the arms of these OTHER women - one at a time- during the time of their marriage - so this does not negate the meaning of the word embrace,because she imagines them one at a time.Thanks for reading.
Thanks Duncann for comming to my rescue.

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-02-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-02-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-02-2005).]

Wouldn't that be "embraces" then?

Dungbeetle, you may be right, maybe it should be embraces, I'll find out, I changed verse 1, line 2 to 'kisses went from the lips to the cheeks'-and I thought it was clear from verse 1 It started with one, then their were multiple lovers- maybe I didn't make this clear.

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-02-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-02-2005).]

Bigapplelyricist
You may have caught something-I don't think I made it clear he cheated with other women ine the first verse-I think this is where the confusion lies.

Considering the line, "How many memories of their embrace". What I'm not getting is how the singer has memories of their embrace? I would have thought the affairs were clandistine...

I changed the word memories to the word thoughts, in a later rewrite, because I figured I was using the wrong word too.

Ok, I musta missed it... Makes sense this way... Thanks!

Rewrie


How Many Heartbreaks
Bigapple the line 'time after time' did not make it clear the guy had other affairs after he got caught the first time, it could have referred to time after time with the same WOMAN, or at different times with different WOMEN, I did another rewrite


Verse 1

You stopped givin' me the lovin' I need
Kisses went from the lips to the cheek
That's when I had a clue
there was someone new
commin' between me and you

Finally, you got caughtin all your lies
I cried until I felt raw inside
and you kept two-timing
with other women
now I'm drawin' the line

Pre-chorus

My love for you is through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

Verse 2

Tried to hold on to you and make it right
because I loved you more than life
How would you have felt
if the tables turned
and you had gotten burned?

I never thought I would see this day come
Now I know that I gotta move on
This is how it ends
You won't be playin'
my heart at your whim

Pre-chorus

My love for you is through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

Pre-chorus

My love for you is through, and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks
How many heartbreaks
could I take?

My love's through and there's no doubt
I've had enough and now I'm out


[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-03-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-03-2005).]

Hey! That works alot better! Might consider a slight amplification in that part:

Finally, you got caught in all your lies
I cried until I felt raw inside
and you kept on two-timing
with woman after woman
now I'm drawin' the line


[This message has been edited by DungBeetle (edited 08-03-2005).]

Thanks dungbeetle, I like your idea for lines 8 and 9.

Joan,

Just a thought about the Pre-Chorus and Chorus.

The Chorus consists of rhetorical questions and the Pre-Chorus consists of straightforward declarative sentences. How would it all sound if those two sections were switched?

So: The Verse explains the history and the predicament, the tension builds as the Pre-Chorus asks the rhetorical questions (will she or won’t she?), and it is all resolved in the Chorus which shows the resolution that the woman arrives at.

Well, give the lyric a few read-throughs that way. See if it works.

If not, give it the toss.

Thanks.

Greg Paul

Since I still HATE the CHORUS . . .

pardon my re-write, but will this help a bit?
annie

---
1.)
You stopped givin' me --the lovin' I need
you've lately been kissin' --me on the cheek
That's when I felt--you chose someone new
Now she's between us-- between me and you


I've caught your lies don't try to deny
Baby, I never thought youd try it again!

Pre-chorus
My heart is through
Now there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out --

Chorus
How can I think-- of her embrace
how many tears will fall from my face
how many more heartbreaks, c-an I take?

VERSE 2
Why didn't you just --pack up and go,
instead of rippin'-- into my soul?
How would you have felt --if the tables were turned
and you were the one--who had gotten burned?

I've cried until --I felt raw inside
time after time, time after time
Now I'm puttin' -- your games to an end
You won't be playin' --with my heart at your whim

Pre-chorus
My heart is through
Now there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out--

Chorus
How can I think-- of her embrace
how many tears will fall from my face
how many more heartbreaks, c-an I take?

Bridge)
Momma had said, "If it's too good to be true
Then likely it is"
Now I have sense, about what she meant--

Pre-chorus
My heart is through,
Now there's no doubt
I've had enough
and I want out --

Chorus
How can I think-- of those you've embraced
how many tears will fall from my face
how many more heartbreaks, c-an I take?

Coda
My heart is through
Now there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I bow out --

(C) 2005 Joan Thompson---

OOPs think i missed something in V1
annie

Bigapplelyricist

What do you mean by- Since I still HATE the CHORUs...

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-04-2005).]

REWRITE

How Many Heartbreaks


Verse 1

Turned your back to me underneath the sheets
Kisses went from the lips to the cheek
That's when I had a clue
there was someone new
commin' between me and you

When I finally caught you in a lie
I cried a river throughout the night
and you kept two-timin'
with other women
now I'm gonna draw the line

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

Verse 2

Tried to hold on to you and make it right
because I had loved you more than life
How would you have felt if
the tables were turned
and you had gotten burned?

I never thought I would see this day come
Now I know that I have to move on
Your games come to an end
You won't be playin'
me again and again

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks, could I take?

Bridge

My love for you is through
and there's no doubt
I've had enough
and now I'm out

Chorus

How many tears fallin' from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks could I take?

How many tears fallin from my face?
How many thoughts of their embrace?
How many heartbreaks?
How many heartbreaks?
-could I take?


[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-04-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-04-2005).]

[This message has been edited by JTHOMP (edited 08-04-2005).]