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Been having so much fun reading and commenting on other folks posts I haven't put one up myself in a few days. So I guess I'll correct that right now.
I started writing this a year or so ago when I was hanging out and jamming with some traditional Irish musicians (there's a lively Celtic music scene in New York these days). The idea came from a phrase I learned from a guitar player from Belfast. According to him
when someone says "He hangs his fiddle behind the door" it's a euphomism for someone who is likeable and gregarious in public but is mean or cruel to his own family. I adapted the phrase a little to fit the meter. The melody is original but has the sound of an Irish jig (I'm a little like "Zelig" sometimes).
This is in the rewriting process now, so any feedback is appreciated.

Fiddle on the Door

He was a music man
He won his lady's hand
Soon they were married with a family of their own
But when the sun went down
He headed into town
Leaving her there to tend the family all alone
She was a quiet type
She'd stay at home and scrub the floor
He'd come home late at night
And hang his fiddle on the door

She'd had a fantasy
Of what their life could be
He would never give her dreams a second thought
She would accommodate
When he came home late
And though she tried it wasn't long before they fought
She'd try to make it right
To make it better than before
He'd come home late at night
And hang his fiddle on the door

And as the years went past
She knew she couldn't last
Her heart was broken every time he knocked her down
He'd play and drink all night
Come home and start a fight
And she would swear one day she wouldn't be around
She'd look him in the eye
Say "I'm not takin' any more
So don't come home tonight
And hang your fiddle on my door"

(c)Tom Picard 2001



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Capt. Tom-Luc

WOW!! Cap'n, what a song! I don't even dare pick a nit on this one. Got it demoed yet? When or where can we hear this one? Best of luck with this one, Cap'n

Capt,
Real nicely done! Yes lets hear it!

Pam

Ditto. Where's the music?

Excellent song Tom!! Great job of story telling! Also a bit of "cultural education" for us too!! Thanks!!

Aye Cap'n and ye did it wi no dilithium crystals...darn fine song Tom.

dawg

Thanks to all. Glad you liked it. If you email me with your address I'll try to send a tape out to you ASAP. I have a slightly different version on tape but its pretty close to this one. I'm still playing catch up on the Tech stuff so I don't have anything on line yet. Thanks again. And greydog, this was strictly on impulse drive, I save the dilithium for when I'm going "warp".

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Capt. Tom-Luc

Tom...chimin in ....Really good job.....

Kaley

Hi Tom :Had to jump in and say well written
and goodjob!!

Normanrock

I like this a lot too-- there's almost nothing to nitpick-- but it feels incomplete. You end the lyric with her standing up to him once, but there's no indication that she was successful in getting him to leave! You need to add another verse-- or better yet, shift that third verse action into a bridge and then add a new third verse after it.

My only nit is that "she wouldn't be around" could be taken as her thinking he would end up killing her.

Nice lyric you have here, but it's not commercial at all, since the title phrase is so little known. But it look like it would go over huge in the Celtic scene. Good luck with it!

Anthony

Thanks Kaley and Norman. Good to hear from both of you. And thank you Anthony. I originally had two more verses written with plans to extend the story even further and I'm still considering this. In the original version she meets another guy who encourages her to stand up to the husband. When the new guy backs down from the confrontation she goes through with it anyway and does throw the husband out. At the end we see the husband living on the street playing the fiddle for beer money. I still kind of like the story line but found it was a little unwieldy keeping the characters straight (too many "he"s, even I was getting confused). And in the end I edited it down to this version, but I am considering revisiting the original plot in some way to bring closure to the story. Any thoughts on this?

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Capt. Tom-Luc

[This message has been edited by Tom Picard (edited 03-21-2001).]

Hi Tom,
I really like the way you wrapped this story together. It flows well and obviously took a while to construct. I have never heard the expression before but, with your explanation it does makes perfect sense. Your description of him verses her shows how two lives can become intangled yet be so different. Here is a guy that is outgoing "outside the house" with an introvert for a wife. Nice set up.

Thanks
Ron

Hi Cap'n,
Essentially I like this, but you lost me on the last verse..my thoughts were the same as Anto's....give this woman some resolution, particularly if this song is for the 'celtic' scene...and to a light-hearted up tempo jig no less, we like our women to be strong, and most of our Ma's would have hung this guys fiddle over the back of his head 'stead of the door (hey, there's a thought for your last verse, lol)....always the odd exception to be sure, but the onus is then on the woman for being an awful eejit to put up with it. Hey, speaking of the trad. music scene up there....have you ever gone to 'An Beal Bocht' in the Bronx....tiny hole in the wall kind of place, but gets some great musicians in from time to time!

Thanks again for all the feedback. Anthony's comments got me thinking all day about how to close out this little fable. Here's what I've come up with so far. I'm going to leave the first two stanzas as is. So starting with a slightly altered third verse:

And as the years went past
She knew she couldn't last
Her heart was broken every time he knocked her down
He'd play and drink all night
Come home and start a fight
Until she couldn't stand to go another round
She looked him in the eye
Said "I'm not taking any more
So don't come home tonight
And hang your fiddle on the door"

In a couple years
He'd drunk too many beers
He'd lost his job and was surviving on the street
One day he caught her eye
As she was walking by
He grabbed his fiddle and scrambled to his feet
She said "Aren't you a sight
There in those same old clothes you wore
That night you lost the right
To hang your fiddle on my door"

So now you're asking me
What could the moral be
To this sad story, well it's hard for me to say
For I'm a famil;y man
Although I'm in a band
And sometimes at night I still go out to play
I have my fun alright, though not as reckless as before
And I stay home most nights and leave my fiddle on the door

(c)Tom Picard 2001

I guess it's still a little rough, but the idea's there. Please let me know what you think of this. And special thanks to Anthony. Your comments really got me thinking.

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Capt. Tom-Luc

Hi Tom,
Getting here a wee bit late. It seems I have less and less time available some weeks.
I'll ditto the above kudos, with the exception of the last verse. See, I knew there was an advantage to coming in late!.Your re-write corrects the problem I saw with the original. It seemed like it was still in the future.This time you brought it forward to a done deal. I'm not sure about the other two verses. I thought they seemed to add some confusion. Didn't seem to quite match your original definition of fiddle on the door. And is the guy in the last verse supposed to be the same one throughout?. That would add a completely different feel to it for me. JMO

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Harriet

Yes! Cap'n I like your resolution though last verse of the resolution still a little rough to read, I know you'll tighten it up as you get it going like you want. Someone said they didn't see commercialism in this ballad, but I don't know about that. These Celtic ballads are going like wildfire even here in the States. I think since country has gone mostly to pop crossover stuff that we'll see more and more of this Celtic ballad stuff. Anyway, I really like this song and I gave long thought to your hook and I pretty well figured it out to mean exactly what you explained. Maybe it's because my granpa was a fiddler, violinist or whatever when the need arose.

Thanks Harriet. Yes I think the wife comes across stronger in the new version of verse three and I probably should leave it right there, all neat and tidy. But I can't resist experimenting with the story a little so I'm really just having fun with the other two verses to see where I can take it. I kind of like the idea of the last verse raising the question of whether the singer is the reformed husband or not, but this is probably a little too conceptual. Thanks for the input.

Thanks Sharon for your kind encouragement. I don't worry too much about the "c word" (commercial) I just follow my muse and share with others when I can. It does seem that there's a growing interest in Celtic music, however.

Ron, thanks for the comments. I've known couples like this so I know these things can happen. Observation is a great source of inspiration.

Char, thanks for the spirited input. Trust me, I'm on her side. I hope the new version of verse three clears this up for you. I think I've heard of the place you mentioned, but I don't get up to the Bronx very often. Mostly I'm in midtown or lower Manhatten. New York is really full of wonderful Celtic (and other) musicians.

And thanks to all the others who chimed in on this post. All your comments are appreciated.

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Capt. Tom-Luc

Harriet already said everything I was gonna say. I like the frst two verses of this new version, but that ending needs to be ironed out. You're making the singer out to be not only the subject of the story, but also a wife-beating jerk! The first verses are very good, though. No need to change them.

Thanks for your thanks. I'm glad my instincts about that first version were correct. This one will turn out even better. Good luck with it!

Anthony