Hi Lisa,

I like the story and how you tell it. I think it’s well-written. It all goes by so fast for me, but then again, it probably does for them too! lol There’s a lot of detailed description to set the scene and I think the more there is of plot would expand on the the mood of their romantic night. Specifically, V1, line 4 could offer, perhaps, more intriguing info...you could put something romantic in there, for example.

Love the bridge...though my mind backtracked on “he can’t wait for the night” as I read it...thinking he just had one....so maybe a mention of “another” or "next" night or something similar to refer to their time together and his hope for more.

Good writing!

Kristi

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist