Hey Lisa,
I'd like stronger opening lines, keep or sweep smile

***maybe***


When I was a kid
I watched a terrifying show

Which would be even better if you could start with:

I watched a terrifying show
When I was only five
King's wife lost her head
Which slowed when it rolled by

The camera zoomed in
Did I see her (adjective) eyes?
I ran up to my room
But to my great surprise



“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard

Co-writing = Compromise!