What a lovely concept, Susie. smile And for the most part, the lyric is well structured and has an easy flow. I've made a few suggestions below that might help you tighten it up a little. KOS. wink

Most important, though, the emotion clearly shines through.

Donna

If Only Heaven Had a Phone
Copyright 2012 - Susie Whiting

V1:
I hear The rain against my window.
It wakes Awakens me from a memory.
Remembering Of sitting close beneath the stars a starlit night To avoid mention of 'night', which you have in the next part of the verse.
as we listening to the music of the sea.

I wish I could hear your voice once more
Telling me I'll be alright.
Hear your footsteps cross the floor,
Feel you hold me in the night.

Pre Chorus:
I'm going crazy missing you.
and I don't know what to do.
I know I wouldn't feel alone I can hear a vocalist really soaring into the chorus after line 3. This way the hook/title remains fixed only in the chorus, and doesn't lose impact by having been mentioned earlier.
if only heaven had a phone.

Chorus: This is long, especially after an 8-line verse and a pre-chorus. Suggesting dropping two of the lines at least. For instance, 7 & 8 could easily go, I think.
If only heaven had a phone
I would call you one more time
to tell you just how much I love you
and how I'm glad that you are mine.
I would tell you I am sorry
for any words that caused you pain
and if I could I would move hell and earth
Just to have you back again.
No. I wouldn't feel so alone
if only heaven had a phone.

V2:
The clock tells me that it's morning.
Time to face another day.
I'll place one foot before the other
but first I'm gonna going to pray.

Ask God to tell you that I miss you.
That I'll try and make it on my own.
I would tell you this and more
if only heaven had a phone. Suggest writing a different line here so that the hook stays in the chorus. It might mean changing line 2. A rough example might be "And I'm trying to make it by myself/I would tell you this and more/Because in some small way it helps".

Chorus:
If only heaven had a phone
I would call you one more time
to tell you just how much I love you
and how I'm glad that you are mine.
I would tell you I am sorry
for any words that caused you pain
and if I could I would move hell and earth
Just to have you back again.
No. I wouldn't feel so alone
if only heaven had a phone.

Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.