I see some words in there that look like 'extras'. Extra words mean extra notes. Melodically, it might work better without them.

I Don’t Want You Anymore

Line 1 opens with 4 syllables/notes, then 6. There's a natural rhythm to it, implying some of the melody.

Verse 1:
Remember me, do you remember me?
The man you left behind
the one who loved you blind?

Line 4 could match Line 1 identically, note for note, and be very effective in supplying structure, by eliminating the 'And'. The singer doesn't have to pronounce 'And', which they often don't, omitting the 'A' and leaving 'nd' to slur into the next word.

And can you see, my darling can you see?
How torn I am inside
from waiting all this time?

Pre-chorus:
For you to find your way to me again

(Do you need 'Now' in line 5, below? Would 'what is' work better than 'what's'?)

Now you’re wondering what’s on my mind
well, let me fill you in

Chorus:
Were you gone so long? ('Gone so long' seems like a stronger hook than 'I don't want you'. It sums up what the Verses have set up for.)
that you couldn’t find your way back home (Cut 'that', and 'back'?)
back to the arms I held you in?
And did you go so far? (Cut 'And')
that you couldn’t feel me holding on (Cut 'that')
even after we came to an end?
I might have needed you then
but I don’t want you anymore

Verse 2:
Remember when, do you remember when?
We had our first long fight? ('long'? Not 'big'?)
we made up that next night.
And then again, did either of us win? (Cut 'And')
We never said goodbye
if only we had time

Pre-chorus:
But now the hourglass is out of sand (Cut 'But'. Cut 'now'?)
and I know you feel misunderstood (Cut 'and')
but I can’t understand (Cut 'but')

Chorus:
Were you gone so long?
you couldn’t find your way home
back to the arms I held you in?
Did you go so far?
you couldn’t feel me holding on
even after we came to an end?
I might have needed you then
but I don’t want you anymore

I don’t want you anymore

Pre-chorus:
Now every day is better than the last (Cut 'Now')
You’ll never know how good it feels
to leave you in the past

Chorus:
Were you gone so long?
you couldn’t find your way home
back to the arms I held you in?
Did you go so far?
you couldn’t feel me holding on
even after we came to an end?
I might have needed you then
but I don’t want you anymore

I don’t want you anymore

Remember me, do you remember me?

Words by Samantha Hawkins


Here's an alternative Chorus, using "Gone So Long" as THE hook.
Chorus:
Were you Gone So Long?
you couldn’t find your way home
back to the arms I held you in?
Did you go so far?
you couldn’t feel me holding on
even after we came to an end?
Were you Gone So Long?

There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com