Nice tune Jay. It's got a fantastic lyrical hook (stormclouds rolling through).

Lyrically I'm not sure how loving strong leaves your eyes cold and hard.

-------------------------------------- g# - f# - e
Melodically on the last line you sing rolling through (those are the melody notes).


-------------------- g# - e - e
I'd suggest singing rolling through. This would create a tie-in with the rest of your chorus melody. As it is the g# - f# - e figure gets INTRODUCED at the end of the chorus. I'm not sure it's going to do much for your listeners.

Nice tune. The band sounds great. If I were producing this, I'd auto-tune your vocal, but I have a feeling you have feelings about that? Really good work overall.

Peace,

Ian

Last edited by Ian Ferrin; 02/06/12 01:36 PM.
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