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Wendy I just read through this post and thought and add a few thoughts on the matter.

Firstly everyone practices, even the ones that say they don't, if you get what I mean. To say that you don't practice and don't strive to get better is the wrong attitude to take. These are players that are just happy to stay in there comfort zones and not try to improve there playing. Anyway rant over on with the practice.

I would forget about scales for while and really focus on chords. You need to learn the CAGED system. Get that under your belt and you will not only have a great tool to help with your writing but also a great warm up/practice workout. Here's a link that will explain it loads better than I could.

http://www.guitar-music-theory.com/caged-chords/

It might look a bit mad at the start but it's well worth it. I practice it every day and it really helps me with improvising solos and writing songs.

You're right about it being a slow process but that half the fun.

If you're learning a new song and you make a mistake don't carry on playing the song. Just stop take a deep breath and start again. Sometimes if you don't stop you end up learning bad habits that will be very hard to get rid off in the future. Remember you're aiming to be able to play as clean as you can with no dead notes and zero mistakes.
Playing with a metronome is dull but it just has to be done sometimes.

Anyway hope this little note helps. I practice a lot

Andy