The most important thing to remember here, is I'm no expert. These are just humble opinions, to help out if I can. What stands out to me is the lack of hard rhymes in "Movie", & the prevalence of hard rhymes in "Manic". Also in the phrasing. There was a flow
& freeness[don't think that's even a real word ]' I see it repeatedly in several of your pieces. For some reason, some way,
use of the rhymes affects how you structure your phrases,[ or
whatever the correct term is] the ones with the rhymes seem
contrived & ordinary, where the others stand out, to me at least.
I work hard in my lyrics to only use soft rhymes
[i.e.sassy=flashy=past me=nasty], & so on. Yak Soon, Gus