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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Lamb.wavv
by Gary E. Andrews - 06/05/26 04:07 PM
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,776 Likes: 24
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,776 Likes: 24 |
Hi Beth, I'll come back with a little bit of a critique, but I just want to say I saw the title "Gotta Look Before I Leap" (NOT orthopedically-driven....)" in the "What's Goin' On" box, and I said to myself, "that's GOT to be Beth, LOL..." Glad you're back!  ********************************************************** This is pretty funny and clever. I like it...I loved those Ray Steven's novelty tunes so i can appreciate the kinda dumb singer who lets "hormone's rule his roost." I think your writing is a tad too eloquent, especially the bridge, though, and he needs to be made a little less intelligent sounding, imo, or it's hard for me to fathom him mistaking a man for a girl, and buying a blow up doll. V1 is past tense, but the build is in the present...not an impossible scenerio, that the singer is singing while on the man-date, but then seems to beg for the music video to make this believable. Mike
Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 06/28/09 09:00 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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