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RY X
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/21/26 04:03 PM
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Soft Loft
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/21/26 11:52 AM
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,430
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,430 |
Neat lyric as always, Stefan. A bicoastal child of divorce-- now there's an lyric topic I've never seen. And it's well handled too. Why not take lines 5-8 of verse 1 and make that a chorus somehow? The only thing this lyric lacks right now is better structure. And that six-line bridge, if that's what it is, reads a little weird, but that could just be because of where you split your lines.
Nice job here! Lotta good lines.
Anthony
P.S.: What's a "pocket book"? Is that a little paperback he brought with him? Just wondering.
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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