Not bad, Heidi, for a twelve year old...not bad at all. Matter of fact, it's pretty good to be written by someone so young. Would you care to divulge whose "gentle breath" you're referring to in the first line?
My first poem was a limerick and I don't remember how old I was when I wrote it, probably in my twenties, but I remember borrowing the punch line from an old joke(that was before I started making up my own puns) and I think it was this one:
When I buy gifts for my wife Dee,
I do the same for my other, Bea.
I try to be fair,
Give each her share,
Now ain't that awful bigamy?