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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,608
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,608 |
It is a nice poem. Interesting thoughts and theme. Good work on the stanza breaks--I like them--I guess they weren't here before?
Two tiny thoughts to keep or sweep--in the second stanza, you have 2 "-ing" (gerund form) verbs. As an editor, I recommend "tosses" and "shuffles" here instead for a little more strength. Also you've used "it's" when the proper form here is "its."
Hope you don't mind my comments there, I do like the poem and it has something interesting and insightful to say. Thanks for sharing it!
Linda
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