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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 10
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 10 |
I found the image of yellow mama in the 2nd verse very very strong, almost haunting. I want to hear more of it, maybe treat it as a chorus. While I like the story, I don't think you need all of it. You could cut out some of the verses to repeat the 2nd one. Not sure how this suggestion works musically, though. That said, I like this a lot.
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