Chris, I'm an old gray haired man of 40...
Trust me, do math in math class.
However, don't give up writing either!
I like what you are saying, but do think the repition has got to go. As far as rhymes, you seem to have a good vocabulary to work with, but I think you would do well to read the post by Bobbie on rymes. I know I found it very educational. Good luck Chris, both with writing and the math test. *GRIN*
Robert