Several days back I was listening to a song posted by John Paragreen (A ladder with a million rungs) and I was reading the comments, John and Bill Draper was chatting and Bill made the statement (the image that popped into my head). I thought The image in my head and asked if they would be OK with me using that and both of them was OK with it.
I know right off the angle I had in mind. this isn't an autobiography, but my wife does have stage 3 Ovarian cancer so that may have had something to do with the angle. She's going through chemo now then will have to have a major surgery and more chemo. If all goes well she'll have a 40% chance of making it 4 to 5 more years.
I have spent two days in a hospital waiting room, I took a pen and a notebook with me and jotted down thoughts for this one. It is a bit longer than I had in mind but when I listen it doesn't feel too long to me.
https://soundclick.com/track/15344802The Image In My Head
I was eighteen with Grandpas old six-string
Two dollars and a pocket full of dreams
Thought I'd take on the whole world
And become the man I thought I'd be
Had my Dad's old rusty Ford pickup
Had a girl I swore I'd wed
Had a thousand roads ahead of me
And a picture in my head
Some roads I thought would lead me home
Some dreams never came true
I lost a few along the way
And found some I never knew
I came home to little voices calling, "Dad"
I let some moments slip away
And left some "I love yous" unsaid
Now I'm thinking 'bout that kid
'Cause when you hear that doctor say
You've got more days behind than ahead
You start looking at your whole life
Through a different kind of lens
Did I live up to the image in my head?
That young man I was back then
Did I love like I said I'd love?
Did I become a better man?
Did I give more than I took?
Did I leave something good behind?
If that boy could see me standing here
Would he recognize my life?
I've got no more years to borrow
No more words left unsaid
So I'm asking that young man one last time---
Did I live up to
The image in my head?
I see my wife across the room
She's trying hard not to cry
I wanna tell her I'm not scared
But we both know that's a lie
I see my children as they were
With their little hands in mine
Funny how the years can disappear
In the blink of an eye
I thought I'd have forever
To get everything right
But forever is just a word
When you're staring down goodbye
Did I live up to the image in my head?
That young man I was back then
Did I love like I said I'd love?
Did I become a better man?
Did I give more than I took?
Did I leave something good behind?
If that boy could see me standing here
Would he recognize my life?
I've got no more years to borrow
No more words left unsaid
So I'm asking that young man one last time---
Did I live up to
The image in my head?
Maybe he didn't need a mansion
Maybe he didn't need to be somebody
Maybe all he ever wanted
Was a hand to hold when he got old
Maybe being someone's shelter
Maybe being the man someone can trust
Was the picture he was chasing
Without knowing it back then
Sometimes I wish I could go back
And find that boy still living in me
Put my hand upon his shoulder
And tell him, "You're gonna see...
Life ain't always gonna give you
Everything you thought you'd get
But don't be afraid to love it---
You'll learn what matters in the end."
Did I live up to the image in my head?
Yeah, I think I finally know
I wasn't always who I wanted
But I never quit the road
I loved a woman with my whole heart
I watched my children grow
I took the good along with the bad
And gave more than I owed
And if that young man could see me now
I think he'd understand---
You don't have to live a perfect life
To become a better man
So when they lay me down tomorrow
And the last thing I see is him
That eighteen-year-old boy
I'll tell him
"You made it farther than you knew..."
Then I'll close my eyes
And let that image
Carry me through
