Hi Dave,
in both productions you used the prompt "slow". I would take that out and see what happens.
Here are a few additional prompts you might want to add/play around with:
male vocals
layered harmonies
vocal harmonies
powerful
catchy
anthemic
atmospheric
studio recording

You might also want to try adding a second or third genre like alternative rock, punk, etc.
or, adding individual instruments: acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass, drums, piano, synths, pads
that might get you closer to what you are hearing in your head.

I see more potential in your lyric than Suno is currently giving you.
I like version #2 better than the first one, but like I said, I think Suno can do even better.

All the best - Robert