Originally Posted by Michael Zaneski
The Jumping Rope Of Life

Bobby had a moment
back in grade school I recall
The young girls they were cheerin
somehow he stumbled didnt fall

Now, I was the better athlete
with a tendency to choke
i stood and watched them smile
yeah bobby was no Joke

--storytelling with an easy going Midwestern tone and style...I like

seems like yesterday....

I'm starin at the sidewalk lookin at the sky
seekin out the spaces thinking maybe i could fly
how my gettin in there, how will I survive?
standin on the outskirts of the jumping rope of life
standin on the outskirts of the jumping rope of life

--tag line is a really cool metaphor cuz it makes you have to visualize that this is official "jump rope" where there's two kids doing cross ropes and participants literally have to JUMP IN when the last kid exits the crosshairs. I saw the visuals in my head no problem. I am really liking this.

I fin'ly joined the Facebook
After years of saying no
It's exactly what I thought it was
It's a life achievement show

Everybody's got a photograph
A little story they tell
My life is more than half over now
Where'd it go pray tell? --this line feels a little low on the syllable count and forced rhyme --maybe the contrast works in the singer's favor? he gets to hold a note or two


I still do it...

I'm starin at the sidewalk lookin at the sky
seekin out the spaces thinking maybe i could fly
how my gettin in there, how will I survive?
standin on the outskirts of the jumping rope of life
standin on the outskirts of the jumping rope of life


I wanna be a part of this big blue world,
of this big blue world
I hope y'all understand, I fought to be a man--consider re-wording this line cuz it might be too ambiguous in this day and age and be taken to mean he was a woman who had a sex change operation...maybe focus on "fought" you want to get the idea that growing up was hard for the singer
I miss her voice, "fella you can", she said "fella you can", she said "fella you can".....

I love a bridge that is kinda dong the detective work (and offering psychological insight into the singer) for the rest of the song--the singer is looking back, probably, at adolescence and either a girl friend or relation (would the singer's "mom" call him "fella" --sure...nickname) anyway, whoever it is saying "fella you can" I think this works great. Another glimpse into the singer's head. He has flashbacks to those who were helpful. A good thing, and good for the listener, and good placement, in the bridge.

I'm starin at the sidewalk lookin at the sky
seekin out the spaces thinking maybe i could fly
how my gettin in there, how will I survive?
standin on the outskirts of the jumping rope of life
standin on the outskirts of the jumping rope of life

--I've got to run but those are the things that jumped out at me. I like this overall very much. Great title hook and follow through...just my two cents

Thanks Mike, you nailed the bridge, that IS my mom, she was my biggest fan, in everything I did.

I don't think talking about being a man, makes fir a transgender reference lol, not when you hear it anyway.

Now imagine a jump rope drum beat with a snap snare and spinning feel.

I think I'm gonna crush this ....

So many things to do too

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 10/24/23 01:29 PM.