Thanks guys. Eddie, I always pictured the narrator as being a guy whose actions speak louder than his words, so the semi-stoic delivery fits his character, as if Clint Eastwood were telling the story.

Japov, you have to write to the hook. That's something internet writers rarely do. I have to describe the "roadside rest", do it with details that fit the mood and foreshadow the story later on, as well as put the narrator there. Memories of the girl don't do that and would only waste precious space. For another song, another story, fine. But in this song, every idea should point to the Roadside Rest, each vs developing it further, with new info being revealed in the bridge, then out.

I'm sorry you feel the song lacks punch.

Last edited by couchgrouch; 11/20/19 10:21 PM.
Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love