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IRAN
by Fdemetrio - 04/15/26 12:27 PM
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PETE
by Fdemetrio - 04/14/26 06:57 AM
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Top 10 Poster
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OP
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Posts: 10,690 |
from the moment i was born i was sentenced to life bleeding at the end of a rope waiting for the knife to slice can anyone deny can anyone defy can anyone see the victim is me from the moment i was born i was sentenced to life can anyone see the victim is me war is good business or so they believe is there anyone left who reaches for peace are all the signatures only a tease does anyone care anyone at all can anyone stop the tears can anyone hear the morning doves call i am no one i am anyone one one one one one one---------------------------------------------fade © by ritt 2003 ® 2003 random noise productions ------------------ http://www.random-noise.com/
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
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HI Spidey!
Hmmm..got a Similar Lament ("I DIDN'T ASK TO BE SENT HERE") languishin' over at Board 2...heh!
This'n' starts Off as a Good "Victim's Song"..but, JMO, segues too rapidly into an Anti-War Rant. It's like 2 Songs in One.
Outro's a bit Disconnected, too...ya started out in "I/Me" Mode---Remember?
Havin' Nitted the way these Pieces are Stacked, I'll admit Hollywood does FINE with "Stream-of-Consciousness" Flicks, and with the Proper Music, most of these Nits are blowin' in the Wind.
Good Luck with it..There IS some Powerful Writin' takin' place here!
Big Hugs,
Stan
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Joined: Aug 2003
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actually there are three folks from around the world writing this one, but mostly me, well here's the latest update a we version now---see we agreed with you b4 you posted,---prolly more disjointed, but the idea is for one of those----mind isn't working, one of those--------max movies hmmmm mad max. anyone from the moment we are born we are sentenced to life bleeding at the end of a rope waiting for the knife to slice can anyone deny can anyone defy can anyone concieve the truth is in the seed from the moment we are born we are sentenced to life can anyone concieve the truth is in the seed We´re flying forces across international airways We´re telling mothers, you can´t feed your child We know our body by milimeter slices Yet causing harm seems to give us pride we're on an unmerciful crusade to free the world of any pain listen as our bombs make a thud who would of thought, they had so much blood sonic booms across the sky aren't babies supposed to cry Does anyone care Does anyone know Does anyone care to know the distance between life-------here and there war is good business or so they believe is there anyone left who cares about peace are all the signatures only a tease does anyone care anyone at all can anyone stop the tears can anyone hear the morning doves call i am no one i am anyone one one one one one one-----fade © by ritt 2003 ® 2003 random noise productions ------------------ http://www.random-noise.com/ [This message has been edited by spiderlady (edited 06-08-2003).]
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,899
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spider.. not sure what to say about this one.. not quite my kind of song, but the rewrite does flow better. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) scotty
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Joined: Jan 2003
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Hey "Riot" er....Ritt! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/biggrin.gif) As usual this one's dreamy and poetic, but I'm not sure the title fits it even though the word "anyone" is used throughout. Maybe "Can Anyone?" because that's actually more the gist of this. I also like version one more than version two. There's something more picturesque about the first one with the mourning doves at the end. Oh, also I'd use the "I am no one, I am anyone, one, one, one" one more time in the song for flavor. It's kinda neat! L, "Cynth"
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
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cynth as is the second verse, is way too long, but right b4 production, i like to over write; paring down is easier than, damn, what do we write now. when done, i'll send you the mp3's url wrinkle to wrinkle smooch LOL ------------------ http://www.random-noise.com/
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 334
Serious Contributor
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Posts: 334 |
I agree with Scotty, that this is not usually my type of song, and I was going to say that the second verse seems a little long in context with the first, but, you've already pointed that out.
The first verse is some of the best writing I've seen lately. Good phrasing here.
I like it,
RickW
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thanks rickw interestingly enough, the first verse wasn't used in the final cut, but i worry not, another song another time, the words won't disappear. here's the url for anyone http://www.random-noise.com/anyone.mp3 ------------------ http://www.random-noise.com/
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 268
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OK, now I'll reveal just how computer literate I really am! How do you go from posting a lyric 2 days ago, to having it on MP3 on the url? Just share a little of how you do all of this with me!! It's very different sounding, I like it. ------------------ Keeping the faith, Jen
Keeping the faith,
Jen
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hi jen it's like this, jonathan who composes music to my lyrics, got a ready made musical piece from a friend who needed lyrics for the piece. Between jonathan, his friend rob, and me (mostly me) we came up with "anyone". Jonathan then embelished the music to fit the words, which he sang, and walla a song. ------------------ http://www.random-noise.com/ [This message has been edited by spiderlady (edited 06-09-2003).]
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