JPF Home Page Forums General Messages General Message Forum The noise

So last night I walk through the great room on my way from the music room to the bedroom. And I hear a bunch of crickets chirping. Didn't think a thing of it...

Except this morning the noise was still there. And I know it can't be crickets anymore. So I check every electric device in the room and none of them is making the noise.

Had an appointment this morning so I had to leave it hanging...

I get home from work tonight and the noise is still there. Now it's starting to get to me. Sometimes floodlights in the ceiling will make a similar (though much softer) noise when one of the filaments is about to go. So I haul the ladder in from the garage - move it beneath every light, climb up and listen. None of them are making the noise.

In desperation, I go out to the garage and throw the main breaker - now there is no electricity in the house. But the noise is still there. By now, I'm going nuts. I think to myself, "The cats are involved somehow - I know this". But that doesn't get me anywhere.

It sounds like it's coming from the ceiling. So I haul the other ladder in from the garage, climb up into the attic, do my contortionist act to only climb on the two by fours, and make my way over to the ceiling above the great room. Nothing - it's quiet as a tomb up there. I make my way back to the access and climb down and move both ladders back out to the garage. I'm starting to get tired now - but the noise is still there.

So now I start to think. If it's not coming from a device that's plugged in, maybe it's coming from something on batteries. I check my wife's laptop. That's not it either.

I go back out to the garage, haul one of the ladders back in and move it next to every smoke detector. I climb up and put my head next to each one. Nothing....

My wife starts humming the Twilight Zone theme song. I'm only mildly amused. She heads off to bed, leaving me alone with the noise.

For the 100th time, I walk across the great room, looking up at the ceiling. Now I'm not convinced it's coming from there - it seems to be coming from everywhere.

While looking up, I trip over an exposed edge of carpet and fall to the floor. My head comes to rest near a little rubber mouse that my wife bought for the cats. It makes a noise when you pounce on it. Except now, it's emitting a continuous noise. THE noise.

I calmly cut it open, pullout the electronics, and tear them to pieces. It feels good. The house is quiet again.

True story - you can't make this stuff up.

Scott

Sounds like one of my adventures Scott. Funny stuff.

Stevie

I bet the cats were watching all the time. Trying to make sense of the actions of a their crazy guardian

Well,
WHERE is Rod Sterling when we need him!

Sorry to be laughing at your expense, but this was SO funny! Oh, to be a fly on that wall!

Ricki

That's a wonderful story (and event), Scott.

One question: In the US, does "great room" = "living room"?

Donna

ha ha Scott ! Was it Tom or Jerry ?

here I was expecting it to be tinnitus.
Ha
Great story Scott. Don't fix the carpet.

Great story Scott! You ought to submit it to Readers Digest.

John

...and just when is your novel being released?... LOL!

Well written short story, Scott. Enjoyed alot. Those conniving cats! Anything to attract attention.

Seriously, this was an interesting read. Maybe you should write songs and novels?

Dave

LOL - I feel bad for you then Stevie

Nice you got a chuckle out of this - might as well make all that wasted time pay off somehow

Scott

There was some of that, Nige. Until I tore the mouse open - they got that part.

Scott

LOL - that's great, Lynn

I doubt they were much bothered though - I didn't do anything they wouldn't do

I should have mentioned that the mouse wasn't entirely rubber - it was cloth covered in places. And it was soaking wet too - I think one of the cats (Oliver no doubt) took it outside onto the screened porch when it was raining. That's probably what shorted it out and made it chirp constantly. They probably had quite a lot of fun watching me...

I shall read your poem (the one from my perspective of course) to the kitties!

Scott

He's in my attic, Ray. Did I forget to mention that

Scott

Ha! At one point I would have been desperate enough to think it was the fly making the noise.

As I told my wife, it's just Karma. I once laughed pretty hard at a friend in a similar situation. He was working in our darkroom and started hearing a buzzing sound. Only this one kept following him around. After several hours, he determined it was his watch

Glad you got a laugh though, Ricki

Scott

It was better for me in retrospect, Donna

Many homes in the U.S. have separate a separate living room, family room and dining room. A great room kind of eliminates all the walls between these three and makes one big room. I like it because it has a nice wide open feeling to it.

Scott

Hey Herbie:

Most likely, it was Oliver - it all fits his modus operandi.

Scott

Actually, I was too, Bill. Until my wife said she heard it too.

The carpet is loose because, and this fits somehow, a cat tore it up.

Scott

Hmmmm. Maybe I'll write it in the third person, John. And make the main character a woman. Nah, no one would believe it then.

Scott

I dunno, Dave. Takes me a month to write a song. Hate to think how long it would take to write a novel

Glad you found it interesting though. Perhaps I should have put it in the creative writing forum though. Didn't seem creative though - I was just reporting

Thanks,
Scott

I was gonna suggest it was your smoke alarm device, until you cut the poor little mouse toy open! NOW what will your cats play with??? They'll prolly retaliate by urinating on your gig bag or something!

Great story.

Here's mine.

I am brought awake in the middle of the night ( it is always the middle isn't it)by what sounds like a ghostly whisper say my wife's name, "D I A N N A" (Subtle but distinct.) I get up and listen intently but of course I do not here it right away so lay my head back down.

"D I A N N A" I hear it again so I now get up completly to check it out.

I make it to the bedroom door, my wife askes out sleeply what I am doing and then she hears it too.

"What is that?" she askes frightened.

"I don't know." I answer and head down the hall.

"D I A N N A" I hear it again but I cannot pinpoint where it is coming from. I go into each room, the kids are asleep and nothing there. "D I A N N A" I hear it again.

I go downstairs via the kitchen, but do not turn on any lights, (I do nor know why but I do not.) check out the garage and basement. Nothing.

Come back up, Dianna, my wife says she whispers from the room that she heard it again.

Frustrated I go outside, front of the house, outside, back of the house and NOTHING! (Believe me all I really want to do is go back to bed and that I am not the bravest man in the world BUT when you interrupt my sleep...)

Head back down the hall and hear it again. "It is coming from the bathroom. (Of course the first room next to our bedroom.)

"Did you hear that?" my wife asks again. "What is that?"

I go into the bathroom, nothing at first, but then I hear it as clear as day (in the dark of night. Good hook there!!)and pinpoint the source of the sound.

The bathtub faucet is not completly closed and air is moving in and out of the pipe. "D I A N N A" it is really saying.

I turn the tap, close it up and go back to bed.

Also a true story AND maybe I will start another thread where we can share others like it. I have a few more that besides pipes makes me and my family believe that we arew not along in our home. (Another good hook!!) BOO!!

Douglas

You could definitely write it from the cat’s point of view. Here’s a song I wrote a while back about my friend’s cat (Tommy) who was a bit of a scaredy cat. He used to shoot up the stairs at the slightest sign of danger. It’s sung from the cat’s point of view, I always wanted it to have a Dylanesque whine when I sang it. Hope you like

Better Get Up Them Stairs

You are lucky you are still sane.

Tom

Scott that was just hilarious

I myself had my own jackass of the month experience one time....I had lost my reading glasses and had looked all over my living room/bedroom and even kitchen for them.....I even called some places I had been to earlier to see if anyone had found them and turned them in.....3 stores......I then finally accepted that they were hopelessly lost and I would have to replace them...

just before going out to Dollar General to get some new ones-I went to the bathroom and saw myself in the mirror-I was wearing them.

as you say-you cant make this stuff up.

I installed SKYPE on my computer so that I can now use my friends on JPF as an international hotline to turn to for when I have such dumbass dilemmas.

hang in there buddy

Tom

Hey Scott

My fave bit of this story is your wife's amused disinterest in what bugging you...seems familiar!

Dan

Ha Polly! I'd almost prefer that to what they are more likely to do - which is to be even more relentless in their attempts to wake me up at 4:00 in the morning.

I dunno - I ruined one of their toys, but that leaves them with about 300. Maybe they will forget about it.

Scott

Good one, Doug. I totally believe it. I have a printer that I swear says the word "monkey" over and over as it prints out.

Haven't told my wife about that one - yet

Scott

I did indeed, Nige

Mommy Monster - great description

This song resonates with me. I used to let my cats Jackson and Poly out to play when we lived in an apartment. They would make a big show out of chasing squirrels. Until one day Jackson chased one into a dead end. When it became clear to Jackson that he was actually going to catch the thing, he very obviously pulled up short and let it get away. He gave me a look like, "You know I coulda had him, right?"

Was almost as funny as when Poly came face to face with an Armadillo

Thanks for sharing that song

Scott

Thank you for recognizing that I still am, Tom. I knew I could count on you

Scott

That's a great idea, Tom. Assuming of course that they have your best interests at heart

LOL on the glasses story - have done that myself so I can sympathize

Scott

I think it was payback, Dan

Earlier I had said, "Don't you hear that noise?". She listened for a moment and said, "Well I didn't before. But I do now thank-you very much!"

Scott