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Real Deal
by Brian Austin Whitney - 05/07/26 01:38 AM
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Flyte
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/06/26 05:36 PM
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,901 Likes: 1
Top 100 Poster
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OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,901 Likes: 1 |
This is just a demo of a song that I'm not sure that I will ever re-record. I think that hook is decent, but aside from that, I don't know how much else of the tune is of any value. What do you think" "Come Around Again" 1.
Once I had myself a place
Where could I make myself a place
Where I could hang around with folks
Who liked to share my place
But then those folks who shared my place
Decided it was not my place
And I guess I won’t have a place
Until I (they)
Come around again
Hey
Come around again
Hey-
Come around again
2.
So now I’m looking for a home
That I can call my Home Sweet Home
And I know it will be so sweet
When I find myself a home
And if I ever get back home
I hope that I’ll be welcomed home
And maybe I can feel at home
When I
Come around again
Hey
Come around again
Hey-
Come around again
(solo)
Hey
Come around again
Hey-
Come around again
©2007 Todd Leiter-Weintraub
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 135
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 135 |
Hi Todd,
you're right, the hook is great! Like the solo part as well, but I'm not sure about the lyrics of verses... maybe a bit more variation of the rhyme words would do the song good... but maybe that's only my impression. Would like to know what the others think about that... But all in all a good job!
Keep on rockin'
Jimmy
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,236 Likes: 4 |
Todd,
This is really catchy. Wish I had something like this just sitting around. It sounds pretty good to me. I agree with Jimmy in that some of the verse lines seem to just kind of be "there." But how much work do the verse lines really need to do for something like this? The chorus and rhythm carry it along. Listening to this reminded me that I needed to download some tunes from Chicken on a Bicycle, so thanks for posting this.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,901 Likes: 1
Top 100 Poster
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OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 2,901 Likes: 1 |
Sorry to bump such an old thread, but do you all think that this thing would actually work better as a Ramones-style punk song, rather than with the country shuffle beat?
Hammering home that I-IV-V?
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427 |
Hi Todd,
I like the melody and music but I do believe it would sound better if you change the verses up a bit. I feel it's a bit too repetitive the way it is, definitely worth working on though.:)
Dottie
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 439
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 439 |
Todd! Hope all is well. I agree the hook is contagious! Beautiful. I worry what would happen to it if you reworked it Ramonesesque (as you suggest), though. The spot on shuffle beat and sweet harmonies of the hook would be compromised. I think your best bet is to give the verses another try. They're not bad, but they don't match the caliber of the chorus. Definitely worth the additional effort, though!
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911 Likes: 1 |
Once I had myself a slot
Where could I make myself a place
Where I could hang around with folks
Who liked to see my face
But then those folks who shared my spot
Decided it was not my place
And I guess I won’t show my face
Until I (they)
Come around again
Hey
Come around again
Hey-
Come around again
2.
So now I’m looking for a pad
That I can call my Home Sweet Home
And I know I won't be so sad
When I no longer roam
And if I join my old comrades
I hope that I’ll be welcomed home
And maybe I'll be in the zone
When I
Come around again
Hey
Come around again
Hey-
Come around again
(solo)
Hey
Come around again
Hey-
Come around again
©2007 Todd Leiter-Weintraub
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Hi Todd,
Definitely a toe tapper and catchy as all get out. Well produced too. I think I'm going to have this banging around in my head for a while and that's the point, right? Lyrically, it seems a bit weak but not all songs have to have deep lyrics in order for them to be entertaining. It depends on where you want it to go. Nicely done.
Ricki
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"I left my home, only to find a new home, full of heart, soul and dreams. Then, I left that new home, heart intact, but much stronger and energized from the experience" -Brian Austin Whitney
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