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TEN
by JAPOV - 11/11/24 10:25 PM
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10 of 12
by David Gill - 11/11/24 07:51 AM
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Joined: Feb 2007
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This is an old one and well past it's sell by date but I always wanted to give it another go, I wrote the lyric after watching news footage of troops walking past flaming oil wells in the desert, I thought that's got to be surreal situation to be in, the first time out it was all screaming guitars and the general consensus was that it was too busy, so this time I've gone totally the other direction and striped it back almost to the bone, foolishly I erased version one so can't compare the two but any comments of any kind on this would be gratefully received, thanks, Tony. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=5710096 Title Fire on the sand Verse 1 Its a strange place to be On a beach without a sea Thought hell was just a dream But I can feel its heat The wellheads weep RPGs scream I know what that means Chorus Tank tracks roll leaving Scars across the land Tap your hat with The clip in your hand The skys ablaze Raining fire on the sand Its raining fire on the sand Verse 2 Left home at eighteen Private no first name They call me green Wont go back the same Because of what Ive seen I hear distant screams I know what that means Repeat Chorus Verse 3 See fire all day If night comes Ill pray Take this war away Lift this curse Where flame drops burst And everybody screams I know what that means Repeat Chorus Outro Its raining fire on the sand Raining fire on the sand Raining fire on the sand Words/Music by Tony Atkinson copyright
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Hi Tony
well I like the piano and effects --- I guess if it were mine -- I'd add more vocal build behind the chorus with ooohs then ahhhs culminating and growing as it goes.....
jm
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Hey Tony, I was trying to imagine what the other version would have sounded like but I think you've got the perfect sound here. I like the voice driven arrangement. The somber piano with the deep voice gives the song just the right gravitas for the subject matter in my opinion. I lean heavily to the dark side and minor keys so I enjoyed this very much.
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Well, I've never been there but the song put me there - Has a nice atmospheric sound that supports the imagery in the lyric. Nice work on this, Tony - was surprised to hear it start off with keys rather than guitar and it worked! Scott
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It worked well for me also Tony ... I enjoyed this song a lot. Moody and driven. very cool
Dan
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Hey Joice, maybe more backing vocals could work, no harm in trying it out, thanks for you input,
Tony.
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Hey Kim, I had the subject matter very much in mind when I was recording this and I believed it had to be somber, the fact you agree takes a weight off, appreciate your comments,
Tony.
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Scott, those particular images were both stunning and terifying I tried to put myself in the shoes of someone who was there and describe it from their point of view, I went with keys as opposed to guitars only because I had used them in the first demo, thanks for giving it a spin and commenting,
Ton.
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Dan, I'm glad you enjoyed it and appreciate your comments very much,
tony.
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Very good lyrics. Love the chorus, very moving...maybe as Joice suggested, some background vocals to add more somberness to it, but this is good.
Good luck-- Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Kimberly, thanks for giving this a spin, appreciate your kind comments.
Tony.
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I think it reads pretty well and the musical treatment complements it just fine.
Kevin
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What an interesting song, Tony. The lyric is simple but vivid, right from the first lines: Its a strange place to be On a beach without a sea
I think your vocals and musical treatment suit the theme well.
Donna
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Kevin, thanks for dropping by to listen and comment, appreciate it,
Tony.
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Donna, It's interesting and was something different to do, I don't think I can do much more with it, yours and the other comments here seem to suggest that, so I think I call this one done, appreciate your comments very much,
Tony.
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Hi Tony,
Fire on the Sand. What an eerie and horrifying image! Your music and vocal supports that feeling very well. I visualize a scene from a war movie, an aerial sequence with no sound except for the music droning in the background, maybe a helicopter view of exploding bombs, etc. With that title in mind, that's what I was seeing. How awful! But in a good way, of course!
Ricki
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