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Inside
by ckiphen - 09/17/24 09:45 AM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/12/24 09:36 AM
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Still working on this one. Please excuse the poor media recording, at this point my STUDIO is battery operated. Im new to song writing, so please be bruatl, yet helpful.I did a little rewrite on the Chorus, phrasing stayed the same just havent rerecorded it yet, Thanks http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10617674© 2009 Words and Music Paul Gaines Heal Billy She comes struttin' cross the floor a sexy neon nurse And grabs Billy off of his barstool hearse Leads him by the hand out to the dance floor And says tonight your broken heart aint gonna hurt you nomore (chorus) Tonight you're gonna heal Billy Yeah tonight you're gonna heal Billy Just a broken hearted country boy from out in the sticks Her tender lovin' hand would really do the trick They just might seal the deal Billy Tonight you're gonna heal Billy (verse) Like a honky tonk Bar room Cardiologist She checks his vital signs with a little bitty kiss Does the Candy Striper twist and the code blue strut Billy saying man I cant believe my luck Then she strikes a sexy pose looks Billy in the eye And does a little dance called the E.R. Slide Billy's heart beating like an ole kick drum Thinking to himself she just might be the one (chorus) Tonight you're gonna heal Billy Yeah tonight you're gonna heal Billy Just a broken hearted country boy from out in the sticks Her tender lovin' hand would really do the trick They just might seal the deal Billy Tonight you're gonna heal Billy (bridge) Then she leads him to her room where the healing takes place Says slow down country bumpkin you aint in a race A little bed rest and a shared cigarette Its gonna be a night you never will forget (chorus)
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hey Paul this is cute, I like it, being a medical person myself, I enjoyed it alot..thanks for sharing it with us..glyn
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Clever lyric, Paul. I'd love to hear this, but the link requires that I'm on Facebook (which I'm not) so perhaps if you put it up a place where you don't have to sign up, you'd get more housecalls :-)
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Hi Paul, Nice to meet ya & welcome to JPF. Fun song. Lots of clever parts here, but THIS LINE ROCKS...... Does the Candy Striper twist and the code blue strut Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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It is clever writing. MAB once pointed out a good trick: Compare each couple of lines or so and see if they point to the hook. All of your medical stuff continuously leads the listener/reader right to the hook. I couldn't hear the tune. I would suggest getting an account at www.soundclick.com. It makes for the easiest listening experience of songs, demos and worktapes. This link here should get you right to the signup page: https://www.soundclick.com/community/NewSignup_AdFree.cfm?Band=YesKevin
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Clever lyric, Paul. I'd love to hear this, but the link requires that I'm on Facebook (which I'm not) so perhaps if you put it up a place where you don't have to sign up, you'd get more housecalls :-) Hey happy you pointed out that the link was a bit of a dud heres a link to the tune everyone should be able to use. http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1016904
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Howdy Calvin,
pleasure to meet you also. Thanks for the good words about my tune happy ya dig it, this hook sat for years on the back burner of my brain.
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There is something wrong with the MP3 file. It is wobbling a lot. That can mean that you encoded it as 48khz. It needs to be encoded at 44.1khz and 16 bit before it is converted to an MP3. Vocals sound good, from what I can tell.
Kevin
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Thanks Kevin,
I followed your advise and opened an account soundclick.com
Thanks also for the kinds word regarding the write on this tune.
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Thanks Kevin, I reformated the file to 44.1, hopefully it will sound better. Please keep in mind I recorded this with a camera phone. The starving artist thing aint about persona, its just a fact of life in my camp 
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Much better sound -- that's pretty good for a camera phone. Good singing and playing. The busted string thing was pretty funny. I was wondering what that "clap" sound was.
Kevin
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Howdy Paul!
Welcome to JPF. Good to have with us!
My wife is from your part of the world. She's from Bakersfield.
If you're new to songwriting, you're leaps and bounds ahead of most newbies! This is very good. You stay focused on your hook and write intersting descriptions. Your word choices work well and are very descriptive. That's a great start any way you look at it!
So, that noise was a broken string! I'm a lead guitarist by trade...been there, done that!
Sounds good. Good luck with the songs in your future.
Alan
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Howdy Al,
nice to meet you also.
Just like any other musician I have written my share of campfire tune, but I have never considered myself a writer, you know learn the rules follow the pack all that happy horsey stuff.
Thanks for listening happy you enjoyed it
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Hey Paul,
This is great stuff, man. You're a natural talent!
Love the lyric, music is kickin' too, but the busted string REALLY makes it rock'n roll :-)
Love this, you're a writer allright! Amazing recording quality on your phone.
Let's hear some more like this!
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Hey Paul,
This is great stuff, man. You're a natural talent!
Love the lyric, music is kickin' too, but the busted string REALLY makes it rock'n roll :-)
Love this, you're a writer allright! Amazing recording quality on your phone.
Let's hear some more like this! Wow thanks for the words of encouragement, glad you like the tune...
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Hey Paul, glad you went soundclick, I read your lyric yesterday
which are really good but could not listen and I had the
feeling I was missing something, this didn't disappoint the
music is as good as the lyric, good job,
Tony.
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Thanks Tony I really apreciate you giving a listen and feedback.
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Hey Paul....if you are a new writer, you are well on your way IMHO....that is a great little country/rocker. Has a great melody and groove, nice vocs as well.
If was to go over the lyric with a fine tooth comb, I could probably come up with a few little changes....but darned if you haven't just about nailed it right out of the gate...great to meet you...now let's hear some more.
Hey, the busted string....nice touch! Oh...that was real?? Well, whatever....cracked me up.
Way to carry a theme out all the way to the end....I loved it.
Jan (nice to meet ya') I am a country writer as well.
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Oh and Paul....didn't mention the play on words type of hook...just great!
Jan
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Hello Jan:
Hey thank you so much for the listen and critique. Everyone here has been very kind in their comments. My song writing has alway been about the gift song, what I mean by that is while playing my guitar the song just kind of flows out complete, not a lot of thinking or refining involved. The hook to this song came to me years ago and I sat down and wrote it (about a month ago) with intend and direction, really a first for me.
yeah the busted string during recording had to stay.... glad you enjoyed it
Paul Gaines
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Paul....pretty darn good....love the busted string deal...you strum that guitar pretty well, too....good vocal....very unique lyric....if you are just startin' out....I say wow...if you ain't just startin' out...wow anyway...vocal is tight too.....better recording makes this jam up....imho...Bob
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hello Robert:
Thanks for the listen happy you like the tune.
I have been playing music since childhood, I have written perhaps 6 tunes in that time, so the writing thing is really new to me but not completely foriegn, I really apreciate you taking the time to listen and give some feedback Thanks again.
Paul Gaines
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Hey Paul, sounds like a modern country song to me. Good word play with a little rock and roll. The kind of song that gets people on their feet.
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Hey Ben Thanks, I was actually surprised when I Googled the hook and found nothing, I was sure someone would have used this twist on words.
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This is a great country song! Good job! I like the whole thing, the imagery, the melody, it was clever. 
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Polly: Thanks for the listen, happy you like the tune. Looking forward to hearing more of your songs....
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oh and Polly I like that you said the imagery, means I am showing the listener not telling ...
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Paul,
clever lyric and good sound coming from a cell phone recording.
thanks for sharing
Steve
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Steve: Thanks for listening and Taking the time to comment I appreciate it. Yeah Im surprised at the sound quaility from the phone too.
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Howdy Paul, Gus here. this hot for over your phone,cant wait to here more...............Thanks for sharing...........Gus
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Thanks Gus....Im going to post more in the next few days......appreciate your support...
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Paul,
my favorite style. Great song. Beautifully written lyric. AND you busted a string!
Have fun,
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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John,
Thanks for the listen happy you like the tune
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Hi Paul, Welcome to JPF! Cool feel from this one, a real toe tapper. Good imagery and use of the hook. I guess recording with a phone is pretty hard on the strings, eh? Ricki
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Hi Ricki:
Thanks for listening, happy you like the song....Yeah phone recording just play h*ll on strings
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Sound really good to my ears my friend
great write I think
Dan
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Paul,
This is good stuff IMO. Very clever writing. This is the kind of song that bands love to play and crowds love to hear and dance too. Get this in the right hands and I bet you could get a cut on this one. I really like it. Great job!!!
Charles
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"Catchy & Cute" New Bro Paul! I'll mimic Polly by addin' "Clever" too...this is Great FUN, multiplied by the Difficulty usin' a Phone to record + the busted string!
A "KUDOS" to ya, Man..for a Fine Performance! Ya more'n PASSED The Audition!
Good Luck with a "Keeper", Amigo!
Best Wishes & a Big "Welcome Aboard" Guy-Hug,
Stan
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Wow thanks for the kind words of encouaragement I really appreciate the support for this tune.
Last edited by pgaines; 12/12/09 03:41 PM.
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"Catchy & Cute" New Bro Paul! I'll mimic Polly by addin' "Clever" too...this is Great FUN, multiplied by the Difficulty usin' a Phone to record + the busted string!
A "KUDOS" to ya, Man..for a Fine Performance! Ya more'n PASSED The Audition!
Good Luck with a "Keeper", Amigo!
Best Wishes & a Big "Welcome Aboard" Guy-Hug,
Stan Howdy Stan: Your comment has made me feel like a part of the family here on JPF, I really appreciate the warm welcome and thumbs up on Heal Billy. Thanks Paul Gaines
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LOL - I was reading these comments about busted strings thinking what's up with that? Then I listened. This is really catchy and bouncy, Paul. Heal Billy is a great hook too. Man, I'm hearing this with a Jerry Lee Lewis type of production - very cool! Scott
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Howdy Scott:
Thanks for the listen....Glad you like the tune.... as I said before, I was surprised when I googled the hook and found nothing, I thought of it years ago and just never could write it
Merry Christmas to ya happy writing
Paul Gaines
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lol, love the busted string line... I was just thinking on this part of the chorus: "Just a broken hearted country boy from out in the sticks Her tender lovin' hand would really do the trick" If you could change it to read something about a boy from the "Hills" then change "trick" to "pill" , you'd kindof have a play on words, "Heal Billy" "Hillbilly" and the pill's his medicine, which is her
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Howdy Louis:
Thanks for the listen. That broken string seems to have become a part of the song..:D
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Hi Paul Well I thought I posted a reply to your great song,  hmm, second listen now, and I just love it, has lots of character, clever write, catchy, and I especially love the bit when you broke the string.  Well done. Hugs Michele
Last edited by Michele Bolton; 12/14/09 02:41 AM.
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Hi Michele: Thanks for listening, I appreciate your time and your comment. Happy you liked it, the broken string was so hillbilly I just had to leave it and post it as is.....
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Im working on a better recording of this tune, I really want to hear it with other instruments.
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I can only echo what others have said, you are a natural. Really catchy lyric and groove and I do love the busted string. How ya gonna replicate that every night on stage? LOL
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Alador Breaking strings aint an isolated thing with me ......
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