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One Long Stem Yellow Rose

You planted that bush in the rain
To suprise me when I got home
Met me at the door with Champagne
Still soaked to the bones
You handed me a picture of

One Long Stem Yellow Rose

Sitting here in silence
I picture you standing there
Today, I feel your presence
A scent of roses in the air
So young we were, How I remember...

A ring around the moon
Folks say it's a sign for lovers
That's when we first knew
We were falling in love with each other
As we kissed you handed me

One Long Stem Yellow Rose

You always knew what to do
The times we didn't agree
Pull me close, hold me tight
Kiss me till I couldn't breathe
You knew I couldn't resist

One Long Stem Yellow Rose

One time you made me cry
As you kissed my tears away
You said Never will I Ever--
I hushed your mouth with my hand
No words needed, Love understands

We always said what we'd do
If one went before the other
I'll be just fine, I promise you
But, my hearts not through
Loving you.

Today, I came by to visit
You'll know that i'm here
As I leave, I'll blow a kiss,
wave goodbye
Placing upon your stone

One Long Stem Yellow Rose...............................


Written by: glynda duncan...along with the help of fellow JFP's and I thank each of you very much..and also to Heather and her beautiful voice........................

HI Glynda,

This is a beautiful story - I love these lyrics. I don't think I have any suggestions at all.

Heather

Nice progression through life. Well written and well performed by Heather. It's a good one!

Kevin

glyn,

I love the story, performance and everything about this! Wonderful song.

Somehow I had some trouble orientating myself throughout the song. I was not sure what was verse, chorus and bridge, and I got somewhat confused, missing out on the story.. but I had the lyric to read, of course.

Heather O.

Thank you for liking my song..love it myself and Heather always makes my songs sound more than what they are..thanks again.glyn

Hi Kevin,

Thanks so much for taking your time to listen to this. And I really appreciate your comments..thanks glyn

Glyn,
very very good. It doesn't quite blow me away and I'm thinking it could. What I mean is I'm not left with an image of the rose and a overwhelming feeling of what it means. Though it is a beautiful well written song.

That 1st section is great. More like that. The grave might be a better prop as a surprise ending.

Have fun,
John

WEll Mr. Mags..

My good friend..so happy you stopped in to help me out here..well, I posted this before sending it to Heather and got alot of feedback on it..and I changed this song so many times..but for the better of course..and I really didn't do like the normal structure layout..just went with what was coming out of my head.. Re-wrote it alot, changed verses, threw out alot of stuff that didn't work..and finally ended up with this..and as you know most of my songs are really meant to go into a family album that i'm leaving my 5 daughters...that's why I try and do different subjects, etc..and If I happen to get a good or great one along the way, that will make me more than happy too..I want my kids, grandkids to take these out and listen whenever they want and smile that I had something to do with these and laugh at some of them too..And it's not that i'm not trying to do good ones, cause I am...just learning alot along the way. So hey please just jump right in anytime and tell me...this or that..i'ts fine...cause like I say these are my heart going to my hearts...thanks for all your help and I do love you Mags..glyn

Hi John, ok I can still work some on it and see what comes up...at least now I have something to work with, with Heather singing it and can see where I might want to move it or change it completely. Thanks for listening and for all your help on it before hand...I really do appreciate it alot..glyn

just bumpin up hope to let more see..thanks glyn

Glyn,

I think it's a great lyric and wonderful song. I would change only one small thing if it were mine, and sure do wish it were... I would replace the very last line with
"Beside your stone", rather than using "Upon your grave" as you have written.

there are 2 reasons I would so so: 1. It gives you a close rhyme with "Rose" at the end of the preceding sentence, and 2. Stone is symbolic of the grave but is a softer reference and retains the melancholy sweetness that that beautifully colors the rest of the lyric. "Grave" is a more stark word and not as soft and gentle as "stone" and this is a very gentle song. Don't lose that with the very last word.

That's my nickel's worth. Two cents wion't get you anywhere these days! Good luck with it.

Alan

Hi Glynda

Heather did a great job for you and I do think this works well....... there's a part of me that wants more tweaking to happen in order to make the hook stand out more, but I would probably just listen to it this way for a while and see how I felt in a month or so......... enjoy the work that you have done. ! : ) jm

Hi Glynda,

Good story and Heather's vocal makes it shine. I guess I have to agree with the "grave" thing at the end. It is a bit harsh, especially when she sings it high like that. Overall though, a fine write.

Ricki

Really nice, Glyn - just a great story.

If you were to pitch this, I'd suggest that it be reformatted to fit a typical structure.

I'd suggest that not because I think it needed it to be better but because it would be more likely (I would guess) to be picked up by someone.

Given how you plan to use it though, what you have is just fine, imo. It's analogous to the case of a singer putting her own songs on her own album - she can do whatever she wants

Bottom line is that I thought this was very moving - and very nicely performed too. It will make a great addition to your album.

Scott

Hi Glynda,
I remember when you first posted this and i thought that it was beautiful then.Then i saw it up here on the MP3 board and I was reading over the lyric again(I always read before i listen),and i was thinking to myself,this is so gorgeous,but i dont see how its gonna work,I dont see defined choruses,verses ,bridges,etc...It just goes to show that you dont have to stick to any standard songwriting form to make a song work...cuz this one is beautiful...it just tells the story,plain and simple,and gets the message across.....
Michelle

Glyn,

This is a beautiful, heartfelt song....sure the structure could be more defined, but I understand the purpose that you have for it....so you are free to do what you wish with it in that case.

I would completely go along with Al's suggestion though, as far as that last word. It is a soft, tender lyric all the way through....that last word should reflect that same feel. Using the word STONE instead of GRAVE is always a softer way to refer to a final resting place....sort of like soft resignation to it all.

I liked this very much. It is a beautiful addition to your album and in one more way....tells your children and grandchildren...what a sweet, caring, lovely person you are.

Heather....once again....sang it so very beautifully. I have come to expect nothing less from her.....great voice.

Jan

Hi Glyn

I new this would be a beautiful song, well done hey, and Heather, your voice is always amazing.

Glynda, now you do have something to work with, GO FOR IT GIRL, cause it's definitely worth working on.

Off to bed now.
Big hugs to my special friend.

Lv Michele

Hi Glynda. This song does break a lot of the rules for structure and rhyme but pulls it off because of the imagery and emotion in the lyric and performance. The weakest spot is the ending. Using Al's suggestion, I'll add "Placing upon your stone, One Long Stem Yellow Rose." That way you end with your hook and the emotional payoff.

Hi, there!
I like the sweetness of this. You have put together some wonderful images.
If you're going to tweak this, may I suggest changing the phrase "so young we were". It's just sticking out too much for me. All the words flowed well except for that part, like it was forcibly twisted just to rhyme with "remember".
Speaking of which, I think the lack of consistent rhyme scheme is adding to the sense of lack of structure. There are sections where the music is the somewhat similar, yet the rhyme scheme is different. The lack of pattern is making the listener feel lost melody-wise.
Anyhow, good luck with this!

Hey Glynda...

What a beautiful tribute and a wonderful gift you are creating for your children.
I agree with changing grave from the last line...stone is softer...and I like the structure of this given your intent...lot of great emotions here...If I were to suggest anything for your last line it would be: "Upon the mantle of my heart"...

And as usual Heather could sing the phone book.

Larry

Hi Al,

I've emailed Heather with the change and you're right stone is alot better fitting for this song..thanks so much for listening to it for me..and you can always spend your 2 cents or your nickel at my place..glyn

HI Joice.
how are you lady..and any time you want to tweak around me,well have at it...I don't mind..that's what's makes us songwriters...and I love it...thanks glyn

Ricki,
always look forward to see what your gonna say..and I do appreciate you taking your time to listen in..thanks for liking this one...hope to see you again soon....lol..glyn

HI Joice.
how are you lady..and any time you want to tweak around me,well have at it...I don't mind..that's what's makes us songwriters...and I love it...thanks glyn

Hi Scott

Yeah I may go on in and do that while i'ts fresh on my mind..I do like it alot..thanks for taking your time to listen to this..your feedback means alot to me..thanks again glyn

Hey Michelle C.

yep. on this one, I tried it with verses, and a cute lil' bridge but it wasn't like I thought it could be, once I had it that way, it took something out that this way has, so heck, I just left it...I will do another one that way, but this song is for my family album and I want my kids to feel the song like this one makes me feel...does that make any sense? Anyway, thanks for listneing...glyn

Janice,

Thanks so much for liking this song..i'm sure you know, we don't know why some songs come to us..this one, don't know, I still will do it in a more stucture view, but for some reason I just had to do it like this too..I have it in a normal structure, with bridge, but it just did't have the right feel as this one does..anyway,i'll keep working on it till it feels right. thanks again..and glad to see ya..glyn

Hi Glynda. I had to take another look at this because I liked it. Something that I noticed the first time, but didn't say anything, was the question as to whether proper English would have "Stemmed" instead of "Stem". I know proper English doesn't matter much in what we do. But I played with it for a day and concluded that "Stemmed" sounded better and sung better.

Ok,

I listened, I do like it. I would, as others have suggested, go with stone instead of grave. Just to soften the ending.

I'm loving that you write without reguards to the structures and rules so many try to stay with. That's when you know who writes strictly from their heart.

Great job!

Michele Bolton,

Thank you so much for stopping in to listen to My yellow roses...and i'm so happy you liked it..and yes, it is straight from my heart..love ya..glyn

ok, i'm trying to email Heahter before she re-records it, I sent her an email yesterday to change grave to stone. and you're right, it does sound better with stemmed...thanks so much summeoyo for showing me this and for liking this song..glyn

Will35216

yes, i'm working on a structured version in case I may want to pitch this beautiful song, but as i've said this version is for my precious family album and I wanted to get the feelings as they came out of my heart..the version i'm working on, by going by the rules of normal song structure just doesn't have this same feeling..that's the main reason for going ahead and doing this one first...the other version will follow soon..thanks so much for listening to my song.. I appreciate this so much..glyn

Larry,

Well hello, thanks for your comments on yellow rose, and do like that line.. Upon The Mantel Of My Heart makes me think of another song for the line..lol...

Thanks for liking this song and so happy you took your time for me..thanks again...glyn

Well, the lady Caroline...my friend, teacher, co-writer and fellow songwriter...

I want folks to know how much I have learned from you and are still learning from you..so much to learn in writing songs, it's not as easy as it looks, but you have done so much for me..

I remember my first post...I thought just who is this person, you had taken that first post and tore it all apart..but it was like after you had to go for awhile and have more coffee, then you came back and explained ALOT of rules to me.

Yes, on this song I blew the rules and structures way out of the water, didn't I ...but , just wrote this one from the heart..I have so many still in my thoughts stages and want to get them done while I can...most or all for my family album..I have nothing from my mom to remember her by, this is my way of leaving my children a part of my heart...

and I do want to sing ONE, just one on a CD..just so they will have my voice on one.even if it makes them laugh..this I want more than any thing. I wish so much how I could hear my mom just one more time and it's been almost 30 yrs since she died..sorry for such a long reply..but you feel like family in a way..just want to give you a part of my heart too...

love you Caroline....just me glyn

Hi Glynda,

This is a beautiful lyric that I think works pretty much as is. Of course, the word order here: "So young we were" might be considered "yoda-speak"...

I thought Heather music's nice, but her singing sounded a tad pitchy to me, and this is unusual for a Heather performance...so maybe since I've been editing my own vocals for the past few days, doing so has simply made me extra sensitive to pitch, and I'm hearing things I wouldn't normally hear.

Mike

Jeepers Glynda and Heather,

What a tearjerker!! Yellow roses in their own right have such emotional impact and to tie them into this poignant love song, well, you dont got me all teary-eyed.

Glynda, I do suppose you received some help from the other JPF'ers on the lyrics -- but as a rule, I find that you sell yourself short. The imagery you use is very vivid, your details are delicate, and though the story is a powerful one, you manage to keep the tone conversational. That's a tough combination to pull off!

Needless to say, Heather, your voice takes the story to an even higher plateau. You sound like you really believe in and care about what your singing -- that is, the story seems heartwrenching to you too.

I'm just noticing now, Glyn, your unusual rhyme scheme. I'm always looking for something novel to try, so I might snag the idea some time, would that be okay?

All in all a great piece...though I do believe this is my favorite section:

You always knew what to do
The times we didn't agree
Pull me close, hold me tight
Kiss me till I couldn't breathe
You knew I couldn't resist

Just sounds sooo romantic somehow....

Anyway, thanks for sharing, and have a groovy evening!!!

Beth

MIke, I had just let a note saying that I hadn't seen you in a while and here you are..thanks for liking my song...I like this on too..guess i'm such a romantic myself even though I have no one to give my love to..so I give it through my songs..thanks glyn

Well hello lady Beth..i'm am so very happy you like this song..I guess i'm the romantic one in her, that's what we as songwriters get to do, we get to make the people in our songs do whatever we want them to do..what power we have..and hey yes, you may use that idea. Some of mine just sounds better that way.. no rules, on strutures..just straight from the heart..I let my heart go..and man does it go...I don't know,everyone says we need to do uptempo songs, and thats fine.....but for some reason I have so much love stuff inside of me and it's just dying to get out..so I get my pen and paper and it flows almost by itself..thanks so much Beth for listening and your sweet comments to both Heather and I..glyn

In the first verse, I don't understand why he handed her a "picture" of a rose.

Every aspect of this song is good. It works. It appeals. It soars. Wonderful.

Tom

hi Joe, it's just my head....he planted her a rose bush , and you know how when you buy plants and stuff they have pictures to show you what they will look like, so he handed her the picture that came with the bush....thanks, hope that explains it more...and thanks...glyn

I actually thought the picture could be on a seed packet, but only because I was fishing for a possible justification for presenting her with a picture instead of a real rose. It certainly wasn't my first thought. I thought the reference might be clear to a gardener but not to every one else. You could actually say it was a picture on the seed container I suppose. The only other justification I can see for using "picture" is that in the next verse you say, "I picture you standing there". That is actually pretty effective if you could make it clear in the first verse that the bush was in fact an undeveloped rose. I didn't get it until you responded. But what I did get was that the relationship was growing as a bush would grow.

The best line in the lyrics is "My heart's not through loving you". That could be a hook for another song.

HI Joe and you're right, that would be a greaat song..and from what i've seen from your writing, I bet you could do that justice...thanks...glyn