JPF Home Page Forums Creative Arts Forums Creative Writing Forum Front Pew Christian

This poem/creative writing/? is about a guy who sits in the front pew acting like a Christian every Sunday but isn't such a great guy the rest of the time. So far the people I've shared it with don't really like it but I do and here it is...Keep in mind it is just in the form it came in when it spilled out of my head...didn't make any changes so it's a bit rough.

Front Pew Christian

He was a front pew Christian
every Sunday morning
He was a front pew Christian
every single week
He was Christian and so tall
Asked to coach the youth
basketball team

They didn't know what he did on Mondays
They didn't know what he did at night
They only knew
He was a front pew Christian
and thought he'd be all right.

He was a front pew Christian
soemtimes asked to teach
He was a front pew Christian
always liked to preach
about all the things
other people shouldn't do
then he proudly walked
back to his front pew

They didn't know what he did on Mondays
They didn't know what he did at night
They only knew
He was a front pew Christian
and thought he'd be all right.

20 years later accusations flew
some were shocked
others already knew
but it is hard to accuse
the man in the front pew


He was a front pew Christian
suffering from addiction
he was a front pew Christian
who liked alcohol and little girls

They didn't know what he did on Mondays
They didn't know what he did at night
They only knew
He was a front pew Christian
and thought he'd be all right.

(c) Vicki Shields 3/15/2009

When is anyone going to finally wake up and realize, that the ones who seem to be so "perfect" are the very ones with something to hide?

You are right SAm. Thanks for taking a peak at this. Let me tell you I am awake and realize what you mentioned above. I am very protective over my children and don't just assume just because someone is involved with church, or a school, or a youth group that it automatically makes them a 'perfect' person.

My family is active in the church but I only 'allow' them to do activites I am involved in.

And...this is not to say everyone who sits in the front pew is like this. I didn't want anyone to confuse this with it being against God. Because I believe in God and in Jesus but as you mentioned Sam, you have to wonder about some of the people that seem so perfect.

Take care Sam and again, thank you for looking at it.
vicki

Hi Vicki,


Good subject material.
Good writing also.
But I'd like to see you change it to front ROW.


Front ROW Christian

He was a front ROW Christian
every Sunday morning
He was a front ROW Christian
every single week
He was Christian and so tall
Asked to coach the youth
basketball team

They didn't know what he did on Mondays
They didn't know what he did at night
They only knew
He was a front ROW Christian
and thought he'd be all right.

He was a front ROW Christian
soemtimes asked to teach
He was a front ROW Christian
always liked to preach
about all the things
other people shouldn't do
then he proudly walked
back UP TO THE pew

They didn't know what he did on Mondays
They didn't know what he did at night
They only knew
He was a front ROW Christian
and thought he'd be all right.

20 years later accusations flew
some were shocked
others already knew
but it is hard to accuse
the man BEHIND THE pew


He was a front ROW Christian
suffering from addiction
he was a front ROW Christian
who liked alcohol and little girls ?

They didn't know what he did on Mondays
They didn't know what he did at night
They only knew
He was a front ROW Christian
and thought he'd be all right.

(c) Vicki Shields 3/15/2009

Hey Calvin- THanks for the suggestions. Just wondering why you like row better? I think you put a question mark by 'he liked alcohol and little girls' Is it that it wasn't clear or you didn't understand what I was saying?

Thanks for looking at it and thanks for the input.

Hey Calvin- THanks for the suggestions. Just wondering why you like row better? I THINK "row" SINGS A LOT EASIER AND STILL GETS THE POINT ACROSS.

I think you put a question mark by 'he liked alcohol and little girls' Is it that it wasn't clear or you didn't understand what I was saying?

YES, I understood it, I just think that particular line needs to be trimmed down a bit so it meters better.

Calvin

Wow Vicki!!We have so much in common..we even think alike...But we already figured that out,didnt we...I used to be very faithful to church,but because of people just like the man you wrote about,I turned away from it many years ago.It's very sad that I allowed that to happen,and now I even have a very hard time letting my children go to church...guess I'm putting a lot of information out there..i get carried away sometimes...lol.I like this alot,and you definitely speak a sad truth...Michelle

Sad to know that even churchgoers may try to disguise the elephant, or just enable it to remain invisible while cleaning up its poop!

And, Ew Lawdy, Watta Mess That Can Be! Can I get a Witness?

The subject you chose may not be liked by some. However, painful truth digests like shards of glass. Better not to partake.

So, what about the girls and boys who are victimized by these sick things in life? Awareness is key to child protection. What you've mused can only create a heightened awareness and, thereby, remove scaly eye-coverlets that blind.

Regards,

Chuck

Whew... it is really hard not to react to this.

Especially since I sit on the front row at the church I attend!! lol!!!!!

I sit on the front pew because that is the closest pew to the platform where I've just spent 45 minutes playing in our church praise group. Not to look like I'm a better Christian.

I am far, far, far from perfect but I am in good company. Nobody else at my church is perfect either. We are all just trying to do the best we can to live the life that we are called to live. Along the way are failures. Thank God for forgiveness.

Truth be told there are people just like this in Churches, in politics, in the Lions Club, the Rotary Club, the grocery store, the doctors office and dare I say.... even JPF!!!!!! But sadly in our day and time the church is the object of ridicule, even in our politically correct culture that would surly hang you out to dry if your subject matter had been say an Irish man, or a person of color. I wonder what uproar this would have caused if your subject matter had been the NAACP? (of course I'm only using them to make a point about how our very own culture is totally hypocritical even in their political correctness)

There are just no perfect places in our world as there are no perfect people but it seems like it is always the church that gets attacked for this.

Perhaps the Church has brought it on themselves, I don't know but I do know that this poem is sad and I think a slap in the face to the greater number of people (people like this man are vastly in the minority) that take their faith seriously and are trying to do the best they can. Why is THAT truth always left out????????????

I've tried to say all of this without attacking you and/or your right to write as you see fit. I really have tried as my hope is just to share a different opinion and not to attack you in any way!!! If I failed in that, please forgive me.

You say that you do not want your poem to seem anti God and you don't believe that all church people are like that. That is cool and I take you at your word but your poem will need some additional lines for it to convey that message, if that really is important to you.

Peace out.....

Well Vicki,
A few years ago when I was at a songwriting Group a writer had a song Entitled, SUNDAY MORNING CHRISTIAN or MONDAY MORNING CHRISTIAN. Much like your song. However he mused that it didn't play too good in his own household and his wife was frowning on him playing it in Church. I understood.

Calvin- Again, thank you for the input. I appreciate it.

Michelle- It does seem like we have a lot in common. Thanks for taking a peak. Thanks for understanding.

Chuck-Thank you. You got it...it is about awareness. I can't imagine being able to write about such a subject and it not causing some kind of controversy. It is an ugly subject that some people are not going to want to hear about. Thanks for understanding.

Vicki

Ed- The word "perfect" that was used here, first by Sam, then by me, was put in quotes to not really mean "perfect" but rather someone appearing to be perfect...such as the man I speak of in this writing.

I am a churchgoer/Christian/believer in Jesus Christ. With that said, this is a song about a man in church (could have been a man in a school setting, coach of a team...etc.) I wrote this based on my personal experience only.

I knew it was a bit controversial because of the subject matter. I can't think of a way to make child molestation/abuse sound 'pretty' and don't really want to.

I would love to be able to bring awareness to it. I believe that atleast 50% of child abuse cases could be prevented with more vigilence from the people in the community and in families.

This writing was not intended to be about the people that don't abuse children. It is about those that do.

I don't feel you attacked me in anyway. Thank you for taking the time to respond. I respect your opinion and appreciate your input.

Take care, vicki

This is definitely not a happy subject. It is meant to evoke some emotion or even anger and disgust that child abuse is so rampant in all areas of our communities and World.

This isn't a song. I have a beat to it in my head but I knew that it could never be a song. It's just a writing.

Maybe I can hope for the day that as I mature as a songwriter and gain experience I can write something that will be more commercial and still tell the message I need to tell.

Thanks for commenting, vicki

You have a good start on this, but more work is necessary in my opinion. There is a lot of repetition and not that much story happening. You may want to make the Front Pew Christian the chorus and supply more details in what is currently the chorus. Or simply not repeat the front pew Christian so many times.


Is he preaching from the pulpit and then walking back to his pew? Or is he giving a testimony?

Predilection could be used to rhyme with addiction.

This seems so generic. Perhaps write out the story in more detail (even if you don't use all the detail) and it will help you create some variety in the verses and supply you with more opportunities for rhyme scheme.

Good luck with this.

PS: In one of your replies, you mention the need for more vigilance on the part of others and I think that would be excellent to add to the story. Using the angle of warning others to be on the guard would be a better approach for this topic, in my opinion.

Hi Vicki





Now THAT is the truth.
It is every where as is the hypocrisy that seems to be the main point of your work.

But as it stands right your work singles out the church as the center for both these problems.

You are obviously a highly skilled writer and I appreciate your skill and passion.

I just think your work feeds the current cultural bias that the Christian Church is fair game for any and all comments. I'm sure that is NOT what you want. Change your work to a man praying on the front row at the local mosque and then run for cover.

I pray for the total success of your poem in making us further aware of hypocrisy and child abuse and I pray that you might find a way to do this in a way that does not picture the church as the only place this happens.

Peace out....

I feel a little awkward speaking on this subject,because for me it is also a personal issue,but Vicki is only speaking the truth.I dont feel that it is a personal attack on the church.She is "attacking" the man who did these horrible things,and in this case the man seemed to use the church as a "cover" for his sins.Yes,this can happen anywhere,it's true,but as Vicki stated,it's a personal issue to her,and in the personal case she is speaking of,her story took place in a church.This isnt a rare occurence,and I do feel that parents need to be made aware.Where I live,there are several churches,who every Sunday morning,send out a bus to pick up children,who might not otherwise ever get a chance to attend church.I think it's wonderful,but I feel that before parents just put thier children onto these buses,they should find out a little better who will be teaching thier children.Most of the people that attend church are there for the right reasons,but there are exceptions.I know a man who wanted nothing more than to be a Sunday school teacher,and he seemed like a very good teacher.I think he taught for over seven years,and then one day his pictures appears on the front page of the paper!Teaching helped to get him closer to his victims.He had ,through the years,molested eleven of his Sunday school students(and we dont know how many more who may have been afraid of speaking out).So I feel that Vicki is sending out a very important message in her writing,and she did say that she doesnt intend for it to be a song.She was writing about a personal experience and I personally dont feel that she was making the church look bad at all,only the person who happened to attend church and tried to hide behind it.

Jean- Thank you very much for your comments and suggestions. As I read through the responses here I am thinking I can probably reach more people and get my message out if I don't focus on any one group in particular. This happened to be almost exact situation that was experienced. I didn't go through and critique anything myself before I posted it. I just went out on a limb with it. I do absolutely believe vigilance is the major part of what I wanted to say. So, I will work on adding that in. Thank you for taking the time.

Ed- Thank you very much for coming back and seeing my response to your first post. Really the key here for me is that I was speaking purely from my experiences. I never really intended for it to go anywhere but here. It was something that spilled out one day and when I posted it here I posted it in it's raw form without much thought. (That is so against what I normally do because usually I am so critical of my own work that it never gets posted at all) This one was purely from my heart. However, now seeing the different responses; I do realize that perhaps this could be something if I work on it and change it up to be about many different situations rather than just the church, I will give it serious thought. And...I just saw the compliment you gave me too...thank you...I appreciate that.

Michelle-

Thank you for your comments. Thank you for understanding exactly what I was saying.

Take care, vicki

I haven't heard nor have I seen child abuse issues raised and fed upon within the pagan community as I have in the Christian community, especially Catholics.

If that in and of itself weren't bad enough, then we get these insensitive idiots whose primary goal in life is to scream their incomprehensible slant on religion at anyone close enough to hear 'em?

Why are so many Christians so arrogant, self-righteous and utterly irritating?
From what I hear, that IS NOT what the message was when Jesus was here on Earth, in fact Jesus made a point on numerous occasions to teach AGAINST that very behavior......and still?!??!?!

Why are the truly caring, compassionate, and human Christians so well hidden?
I know that they're out there..............somewhere.

All in church are not perfect but most strive to be. But with some, it is just the thing to do, go to church, good for their image, good for business. They know who they are, we don't, but God does. I wrote the following song for just such people, I also wrote another one called "Examine yourself"




SUNDAY/ CHRISTIAN

DON'T BE A SUNDAY CHRISTIAN.. AND A SINNER ALL WEEK LONG/ DON'T DEVOTE ONE DAY TO LIVING RIGHT/ AND THE REST TO LIVING WRONG..

SO BE A SUNDAY CHRISTIAN... EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK/ AND YOU WILL FIND YOUR SAVIOUR... AND THE PEACE THAT YOU SEEK

CHORUS
THOU SHALL NOT STEAL.. IS JUST AS REAL.. ON MONDAY....AS IT IS ON SUNDAY.. IT'S STILL A SIN... THOU SHALL NOT KILL.. IS STILL GODS WILL... ALL WEEK LONG...SO TRY TO BE STRONG... AND OBEY HIM

DON'T BE A SUNDAY CHRISTIAN.. AND A DEVIL ALL WEEK THROUGH.. YOU MAY FOOL A FRIEND OR NEIGHBOUR... BUT THE LORD SEES THROUGH YOU...

SO BE A LIVING CHRISTIAN... AND PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH... AND YOU WILL FIND THAT HEAVEN.. IS WELL WITHIN YOUR REACH...

REPEAT CHORUS
(c) EVERETT ADAMS

I couldn't agree more. You have a kinder more gentle way of saying some of the things I was trying to say. Very beautifully written. Thank you very much for posting that.

vicki

Thank you Vicki. The Devil has his people placed in church too, some high up where they can do real damage, but the gates of hell will not prevail against God and His church(which are His people), God will win and have a church without spot or wrinkle.

Remembering that the "true" temple of a man is not constructed by human hands, but is that physical body which encases the mental, emotional, and the spirtual. These, in turn, are guided by progressive life-experience that provide knowledge of good and evil, right and wrong.

So, in all actuality, every single individual sits on the front pew of life taking in life knowledge, whether religiously or otherwise. That being the case, We all, at some time or other, present faces of honesty, or deceit, depending on motive.

So, Vicki, your written offering provides me an opportunity to imagine myself sitting on that front pew observed by the many. How honest am I and how safe am I for those observing me and believing in me, my priciples, and my values.

Disguised, I can be everything they believe me to be.

Your ultimate message is not about the goings-on in some church. Rather, the discussion clearly centers around cause and effect created by the condition of the human heart...any place, any time.

Thanks for providing a way for me to look at myself from a different point of reference, which now allows me to make some personal adjustments in the reinventing of the Lorquithian Character, which is the paradisaic condition of the heart.

Its okay to put music to your work. Some dark songs are required to guide folks from dark despair into a brighter gloom.

Regards,

Chuck

Chuck-

Wow! Your well written and thought out words are very encouraging to me. I like your analogy too...the front pew of life. Everyone here has given me great ideas about how to re-write this and I appreciate it. Chuck-thank you for your kindness.

God Bless,
Vicki

HiDee Ms Vicki!

I'm appreciative of your Message here.

Wonder if ya'd consider re-phrasing it "Front-Row BELIEVER"?

This ISN'T just Christianity that HAS this Problem..it's ages-old, probably goes back to 20,000 BC or more..(whenever Taboos were-invented.) Or maybe back to Adam & Eve..even...as the Families Grew in-number.

Good Luck with the Next Version of your Song.

Tonight's Nagging Question: Where did Adam & Eve's Sons GET their Wives?

I get these weird Questions all the time...(not really expecting Pat Answers)..just fun posing 'em.

Best Wishes & again, Good Luck with The Rewrite.

Hi Vicki

You are tackling a difficult subject here and I think it’s a hard one to pull off without sound preachy in its own right. Ultimately how ever you dress it up it will come over as a pop at Christians in general, rather than the ‘odd bad apple’ which I believe is your intended target.

Nige

Russian mail order?

What you are really writing about is people who have two faces - a public face which is represented here by a Christian but could just as well be a businessman, a mayor, a schoolteacher, etc., and a private face which is the alcoholic, child fancier, druggie, etc. etc.

Having said that, I am not sure who wants to hear a song about the negative stuff you read about in the paper and see on TV way too often.

The lyric is inconsistent in its rhyme scheme. The prosody or rhythm/meter does not seem to fit a normal song structure....perhaps you have got a rhythm going on in your head that we can't hear!

I agree that front row is much more singer friendly.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for the input Stan and Nigel.

Colin- These aren't lyrics. This isn't intended as a song. It is 'just' a creative writing. I know it is too harsh to be commercial and doesn't have a structure. I literally wrote it down as I 'heard' it in my head and didn't make changes to it. I realize it would need a lot of work in order to be accepted.

And your right...not many would want to hear a song about all the negativity in the world...that is partly why child abuse continues to be as rampant as it is...no one wants to talk about it and no one wants to believe it can happen in their own families.

One day I will try to re-write it to tell the story I want to tell but also be not too offensive and turn too many people away. It's a tough subject to write about in a 'nice' way. But, I've received some great advice here and plan on using it for the re-write.

Thanks all!


Thanks, vicki

Vicki,

Sorry, I noticed your post in What's Going On and didn't look at which forum it was in.

I think one reason people do not want to hear about this kind of thing is information overload. There is too much stuff like that in the newspaper all the time. I used to be upset that we didn't get enough international news, but now we hear about a car wreck in Indonesia, a boat sinking in Africa, a toilet plugged in Tasmania.....just so much stuff we have to tune it out.

Vickie,

You certainly stirred up things here. Good job. I don't want to comment on the song itself, it is fine, I just would like to provide a little perspective. Actually some people do listen to these types of songs. There are actually quite a few of them. In a town like Nashville, about 70% of songs written are personal issue songs, political, songs pointing out the negative in society, within cultures, economic etc. Writers are by very definition the chronicilers of what goes on in society.
So with so many songs about pretty much the same subject, it is not only information overload, but subject overload. People see it continually in print,television, movies, real life around them etc. So you will get a LOT of songs about the same subject. And as you can see, these same songs alientate half your audience. People either agree with you, or want to pick fights with you over the way you believe. And most often, with writers, they just want to play you their songs about the same subject.So while you have many songs written about these and similar subjects, there are very few that go anywhere outside the writer's own world. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
So don't get too worried or caught up about the responses or lack of responses you get. Everyone has opinions. Writers just write about them. You should always write what you want, any way you want it. But the more common the subject matter you take, the least ability you have to take a unique perspective on the subject.

MAB

A continuation of my earlier questioning.......

As a pagan, I am constantly aware of how many alleged "Christians" seem to have their noses in my business, claiming to care about my (im)mortal soul.

How is it that these people who don't know me at all, and honestly don't care if I live or die, always saying the same things all the time? One the rest of the seven day week, they don't think about me.
We are human, therefore we are fallible, we are fallible because we are human.

The Goddess, be her name Diana, or whatever, loves me, I know this because if she didn't, my life would be pure sh*t.

Just a rambling opinion...

Mark- Thank you very much for your thoughtful insights. This one sure has received alot of attention...I will put some thought into doing something with it. I'm just not sure exactly what. Thank you for your time.

Take care, vicki