JPF Home Page Forums General Messages General Message Forum THE RANT THREAD!!!! (Share your rant and win a prize!)

I don't care if they legalize pot as long as I don't have to smoke it. It just makes me stupid and I'm stupid enough when I'm straight. I've never met anyone who smoked pot that didn't become stupid while smoking it. Huh? What did I just say, ha ha ha. Let's have a...a...what was that I wanted...a...you know, dude, you know. We'll uh go. Um. To that place, you know. Dude, where is that we are going? WHAT WAS THAT!!! I think that guy knows we're high. Dude, he's on his cell phone, he must be talking about us. Maybe he's, you know, he's calling the cops. Let's get out of here. Where are we, you know, where are we going anyway? We gotta get out of here, but, you know, where's here? Ha ha ha. Where's here. That's funny stuff, I mean, dude, you know, it's funny and it's heavy. When you think about it, it's really beautiful it's like...like...what was that I said?

Of course I know people who think it doesn't make them stupid. But I don't know anyone who it doesn't. Uh...dude...doesn't what?


Good Rant, Heidi, I worked with a guy last weekend who said he knew who you and your hubby were. He's a drummer from Las Vegas named Ken Greene.

As you know, I came up with C.S. "with" Arterial Vertebral Occlusion as the most likely cause. Doc and I had it talked about with other Docs who specialize in hard to find cases. All agreed those two conditions to be a good possibility. Gave places to call to make appointments. You got the list for the top NY Docs in this field. (Ones that take your insurance). I'm waiting for the list to call around, (as is Doc), to narrow down to the most experienced in C.S. with A.V O. Then, for you to make an appointment so I can keep that date open, (at least).

So, edit that part of the rant out! That is on you now.



Just hate to see you in such discomfort, when the possibility of being helped HAS BEEN in action.

John

Insurance
More specifically Automobile or Motorcycle insurance.

Most, if not all, states it is mandatory. BUT we need UNINSURED motorist insurance. Hmmmm.

I checked with my insurance on my Medical coverage. If I run off the road and hit a tree I better not get hurt too badly. The insurance only pays $2000.00 of my medical bills. If I am hit by another driver who does not have insurance my insurance only pays $2000.00 of my medical bills.(this cannot be increased) I have to have private medical insurance separate from my car or motorcycle insurance. If the other driver is at fault their insurance will pay my medical bills. IF they have insurance. That's why I have to have uninsured motorist insurance.

My insurance only covers the other motorist for $100,000.00. But it only costs me about $50.00 a year per vehicle for that coverage. If I want more coverage I can get it. 100 grand doesn't go very far in the hospital.
But $50.00 a year is still pretty cheap.
The uninsured motorist insurance costs me $150.00 per year per vehicle.
Why? Cuz a lot of folks don't have insurance. Especially the ones that don't have drivers licenses.

I own a pickup truck, a 1974 corvette, and a Motorcycle. I am the only person that drives the Vette or the Bike. Yet I have to have a separate insurance policy for each. Why is that. I can't drive but one at a time. Why can't I simply be insured as a driver of cars and motorcycles. Insure ME not the Vehicle. I am the driver after all. The Car can't have an accident if no one is driving it.

Sure...I go off to do a freakin' "Cher" gig, and look what I come back to! All you busy little ranters just having a field day! LOL!

Well, so far we've had some fantastic rants! Some of them are just plain pissy while others are down right sad.

I am trying to figure out when to give out the prize for the best rant and I am thinking I will do it when the thread begins to die out. Right now, there are just too many rants to try to keep up with all of you! But, Auntie Rant is very happy to see you all getting things off your chests!!!!

I may even throw in a rant or two myself!

So, keep 'em coming you fabulous JPFers! Sometimes just having someone to talk to when you need to blow off some steam is very helpful. You might even find some answers or helpful advice.

Here's to all of you. May your rants turn into steam and the steam rise into a clearer air.

Auntie Rant

Legalize mary jane and put the murdering bastard colombian growers out of biz.It has nothing to do with the "stoners" paying taxes.

Growing should remain illegal if it is to work.The "GOVERNMENT" grows and farms/packages/sells it and regulates it just as they do alcohol,thereby collecting taxes via the point of sale to people over 21.All the laws regarding alcohol should be the same for pot.

I dont even smoke it and I can see the obvious.This damned plant has been studied for 40 plus years that I know of and has a MUCH lower health risk than alcohol....hhhmmmmm.

Yet alcohol is readily accepted as a social drug for adults.Its the same old double standard [naughty word removed] I have been hearing for so many years regarding other obvious things.

Like ....wow....global warming?...heh....dude I recycle!...Im saving the planet...with my four kids!...Wanna save the planet?...truly?...STOP HAVING CHILDREN!....the earth has ONE problem.

ONE.

PEOPLE.but yet the government gives tax credits to whom?.......FAMILIES!.

Its the same damned thing with pot and its legalization.the answer is right here under our noses and obvious.

We as a species just like our goddamned comfort zones a little too much.

I, for one, believe Legalizing Pot (& laying off 75% of the DEA) WILL bring in..& SAVE..a LOT of Revenue...JUST when Our Country could USE some. One reason I DON'T currently smoke Weed today is "Quality Control"...there really ISN'T Any. What ARE You putting into your Lungs today...Cow Dung? Insecticides? Etc-Etc. Waal...when it's down at your Local Liquor Store (& Legit)..it's gonna be fairly-pure. Prolly Worth the Extra Loot. Definitely worth the Lack of Paranoia...AND...It's gonna replenish all the Tax Bucks so-far Not Coming In.

Just like Booze did after Prohibition ended. (Why buy "Bathtub Gin" when ya can get The Real Deal?)

Let's see...I got just 4 Rants in-Mind this Evening, after a rather Rant-y Kinda Day.

1) Smokers I don't mind a Bit...it's those Butts They Leave BEHIND. Everywhere. I'd be in-favor of a DNA-ID Program...to get the Polluters off the Flinging-Butt-Habit--Match Up the DNA on the Butts to the Guy/Gal who tossed-it/Charge 'em for the Test & slap 'em with a Littering Fine..on an Escalating Scale.

2) One of my Hispanic Customers proudly told me the other day that "SOON there'll be MORE Spanish than English-Speakers in the USA." I just about bit thru my Lips stifling a Curt Reply, nature of which'd be "Time for the Catholic Church to OK Birth-Control" and "Geeze, I HOPE Not."

3)I guess us Ango-Americans better get used to the fact that SOON we ARE gonna be a Minority Group here. HOWEVER...I DO think the US Gov't NEEDS some Birth Rate LAWS so we don't (soon) end up one big Welfare State, supporting LOTS of Un-Supported-&-or-UN-Planned-For Kids. I'd sug TWO...(Hey, it's One-MORE than China allows!). With a nice TAX if ya wanta have MORE...so if ya CAN afford More Kids than 2, ya PAY for it...maybe even in-advance!

4) Last Gripe of The Day:
WHY do all those Black Folks rave about "America's First Black President" when Obama's HALF White? (I AM beginning to LIKE the Guy..but RACE has Zero to do with it.) Even his DOG is Both Colors..for pete's sake!

That'll do it for Today's Rants...but there's of course, Always Tomorrow/No Complaints about That...yet!

Big Hugs, Harley LadyChum!
Stan

Hey! Before you go promoting one child families, take a look at this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3X5hIFXYU

Another rant. I put this one in the political thread but thought it might be good here.

I don't know that any homeowners are being "Saved" in the Mortgage mess. AIG was, the banks were, But I don't know what is happening to the homeowners.

I got caught in this mess. I bought my house in Tennessee expecting my house in Michigan would sell. The house on Michigan is still not sold so I am covering two mortgages. It's a little tough but we are managing.
Fortunately I stayed clear of subprimes or ARMs with short balloons. I have fixed rate mortgages.
One thing that would make things easier would be to refinance both at the current rates.

Guess what.
The Banks won't refinance a house that is currently up for sale.
They also are charging such High fees and points it almost wipes out any savings I would get in a refinance.
It would cost almost $9000.00 to refinance the house in Michigan.
How many struggling homeowners have that kind of cash lying around? So they roll it into the mortgage.
The other factor. Reduced values. Most homes have been devalued anywhere from 20 to 50 percent. All of a sudden you don't have enough equity to refinance without paying PMI. which can be $75.00 a month.

This whole HYPE about the Administration helping homeowners stay in their homes is Bull. The only people being helped are the banks and predatory lenders that started this whole mess. I'd like to know who these bad homeowners are that the tax dollars are helping.

Okay you guys, now I"M depressed! Seems by your posts that this country has gone to Hell in a handbasket! Is there anything that can be done about it? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Auntie Rant

Mike, you have a lot of support here. Your rants are not really rants - but expressions of justifiable frustration. Very best wishes from Nebraska.

Tom

"Let pot grow. So groweth pot, so groweth people. I have spoken. (don't know how much good that did)"

Domo Arigato.

I hope that all the dumb sh*t will end someday, and all we'll have left is simplicity, intellect, and love.
Not gonna happen, either, but I do feel a need to at least try and put a smile back on Auntie Rant......

Love you, Heidi, as do we all.

So *that*'s what happened to the handbasket...

Joe

Joe...it's most likely burnt to a crisp by now!

Okay, I have a rant! My bladder fell out today. I was retaining too much water....

Auntie Rant

.....rim shot.....crickets croaking in the dead silence....

Wow, tough room.

Gotta try again, ya can't just let it die like that......

I don't care about any kind of prize, Heidi, playing this little game is incentive enough.
I just love to try and keep it goin'.......most fun I've had in years!

We all need a venue to find relief from the hard work of writing songs, making music, and being the wonderfully and beautifully talented artists that we deem ourselves to be, right?

Heidi, "crickets croaking in the dead silence" sounds like a line that needs a song to go with it. Not *that* tough a room--they're just preoccupied with their ranting.

Joe

I find it quite bizarre that when the economy is good, governments can do what they like, and nobody complains (all too busy shopping and watching American Idol). Invade Iraq, fine...curb civil liberties in the name of 'the War on Terror', fine...let banks lend money they don't have, fine...

Then it all goes wrong, and everybody is as 'mad as hell' and wants their needs addressed right away...which will never happen in a society where wealth is divided in such as way as to ensure the rich are always rich, and the poor get what's left over.

No matter how angry anybody gets, hospitals will close, welfare queues will get longer, the wages of the low-paid will get lower...that's capitalism for you!

Dan

Word.

I'll be back later. I have to go buy another box of "Depend" and my walker blew out a golf ball. So, I need new balls.

Keep up the good ranting!

Auntie Rant

"So, I need new balls."

That's one way to say it, but then again, I guess that such would be a most essential requirement to even start a thread like this to begin with, right?

All due props for Auntie!!!!!!!!!

I don't care if they legalize pot or not, but I'm willing to rant about our lack of political will for an American hemp industry.

Hemp is made from the kind of marijuana that "don't getcha high". It is a weed, so growing it is as easy as it gets. It would be a multi-billion dollar industry involving fabric, rope, food, paper, building material, you name it.

We don't do it because A) cannabis of any form is illegal to grow, and B) several other powerful industry lobbies actively block efforts to introduce a new competitor. Well...make that an old competitor. Even George Washington grew hemp...it's a multipurpose commodity that we have foolishly associated with high-powered ganja. In a time when our economy is nearly crippled, why do we still turn our backs on an entire global industry that costs practically nothing to grow?

Auntie, you could send the old balls to somebody in the gummint. I don't think they have any.

Joe

Now THAT is funny, but it's more true than it is anything.....

So, Joe, how do you suppose that we should go about repairing our severely dilapidated state of the Union?

(Union? Did he really say that? What the hell's wrong with him?)

Seriously, Sam, I would ignore it. I think Bill Clinton did more than any other President to prove the Federal government irrelevant, and I would like to see the process continued. The way the stock market plunges every time Obama suggests a "solution" is a great "the government can't do anything right" opening I keep wishing he'd take advantage of. I'm sure he won't (thereby underscoring my point, I guess).

I think what we really need is effectively functioning *local* governments--with an actively involved citizenry, be it noted--with state governments that get in the way as little as possible. Keep things on a small scale, and you force people to cooperate to get things done, because they can't accomplish things on their own.

You have noticed, I'm sure, the recent warning that came out of the Federal Homeland Security Department that anybody who wanted to reduce the Federal government--even if it was to increase the power of local or state government--was to be considered a "right-wing terrorist" and must be stopped. Accordingly, you should probably not listen to me. You'll end up on a list somewhere. At least, *pretend* not to listen.

Joe

You may get your wish.
So might Sam.
There is now a test case involving a new Montana Law that states the Federal Gummint may not regulate guns, ammunition, etc. IF the Gun is Manufactured and sold within the State of Montana. Other States are following suit. This will also lead to the same law on other commerce and will effect other Federal Legislation as well. It gives Sovereignty back to the STATES..
What does this mean? The Constitution Gives the Fed the Power to regulate INTER State commerce. It does not give the Fed the power to regulate INTRA State commerce.

It will be challenged in the Supreme court. Hopefully the law will stand.
Then if the state wants to allow people to grow Hemp or Marijuana they can grow all they want if it is to be used within the state it is grown in.

This is how it was meant to be.

Helloooooo? (tap, tap, tap the mic) Helloooooooo, is thing on? (tap, tap, tap again)

I just tripped over the pot plant someone hid in my closet and I can't figure out where I left my cigars. Maybe I can find a butt....

Meanwhile, I didn't qualify for the new home loan the ad said I could get. I can't even have a beer because the cops pulled me over on the walker/motorcycle and asked me to walk a straight line. I can't even do that when I'm sober.

I just found out my Grandfather was multi-racial and now my daughter is marrying her girlfriend.

My watch broke and nobody will ever give me the time of day.

So, I'm just going to learn how to have fun while reading all of your rants. Keep 'em coming, all you pissed off JPFers! Let's rock this rant!

Auntie Rant

PS: Bill, you are a hottie!
(I think my avatar has taken over my posts....)

Get Off the Road!

No wonder I pay so freaking much for insurance. Nobody knows how to drive anymore!

Cruising around town used to be one of the great joys in my life. Top down, sunglasses on, MoTown rocking through the speakers, full tank of gas (we could actually afford a FULL tank back then), looking cool, feeling hot…yeah, it was great! These days? It’s damned near suicide! I’m telling ya, it’s pretty close to a death wish.

Have you ever noticed that every time someone wants to make a right turn, they always swerve left about ten or twelve inches first? It doesn’t make any difference how many lanes there are or how much traffic there is. I’m telling ya…they’re gonna swerve left before turning right. If you’re the driver of the car immediately to the left of the car turning right, kiss that paint job goodbye. Anybody know the number for Macco?

Another dumb-ass thing that mystifies me is people waiting at a stoplight. Have you noticed how they continually creep forward the entire time they’re waiting? It’s only an inch or two every few seconds, but they’re gonna do it. I can guarantee it. What’s the deal with that? Do they think the light is going to turn green more quickly? Yeah, sure it is! As though the light would be thinking, “Oh, that’s Bill Johnson waiting there. Look at him creeping forward. He must be in a hurry. I think I’ll change to green a little quicker…just for Bill.” NOT!!!!

Another thing about stoplights...I guess I missed it somewhere in the driver's manual where it said "Green means go like hell, yellow means hurry up and go, and red means just three more cars."

I mentally scarred my neighbor’s wife for the rest of her life. I’m not lying to you about that. I told her that the little mini-gearshift-looking-thing on the left side of the steering column is a turn signal activator. It gives other drivers and pedestrians an indication of which way you will be turning very soon. You know, so they can get out of the way, or stop for you, or be prepared for the big accident about to happen because you never look before you turn. She’s been walking around in a daze since I explained that mysterious device to her. It was an incomprehensible concept for her.

And, of course, in today’s multi-tasking society, one cannot simply drive. What an inefficient use of time that would be. There are cell phone calls to be made and received, lunch to be eaten (look out if he spills the hot soup on his crotch), make-up to be applied, hair to be combed or brushed, blackheads to be squeezed, baby diapers to be changed, a lot of hot and steamy fondling to be enjoyed if the love interest is in the passenger seat…or straddling your lap, radio stations to be tuned, CDs to be swapped out, newspapers to be read, mail to be opened, notes to be scribbled, ash trays to be emptied, cigarettes to be lit, extensive text messages to be keyed in, and packages to be wrapped. And don’t forget about the driver who may be pleasuring him or herself as they merrily roll along. Indeed, we are a multi-tasking, time–efficient society.

However, my biggest rant is about old farts that forgot how to drive. Now, for the record, I’m 62 years old. So, I have the rightful privilege to take those old farts to task cause I be one of dem! For you old-timers who may have lost some of your driving skills, along with your hair, your teeth, your body and your ability to dress yourself in non-ridiculous clothing, here are a few reminders.

First, it is advisable to use your signal/blinker before executing a turn. However, I recommend that you do not turn it on a mile before you make your turn. I also recommend you turn it off sometime within the first three miles after having completed your turning maneuver. It really makes it less confusing for the rest of us if you would do that. It’s not necessary to leave your blinker on all the way from St. Louis to Kansas City, you know, just in case you decide to turn left somewhere along the way.

Second, there really is more than one speed limit in the world. Usually, it is slower in town and on side streets, but faster on the highway. Trust me on this, sir and madam…there is no universal speed limit of 40 miles per hour! It is, indeed, legal to drive slower than that in town and substantially faster on the highway. Really…it’s not a bad rumor. It’s true!

May I also recommend to you fine senior folks that driving in the far left lane (the fast lane here in the States) should be avoided if you still believe that rumor about the universal speed limit being 40 miles per hour. The rest of us would appreciate that.

Also, when you get to an intersection, it is not necessary that traffic be non-visible for more than three miles in all directions before negotiating that intersection. If the car coming on the other street is only a block or two away, it is probably safe for you to pull through the intersection. Believe me…I am not lying just to get you killed.

Finally, you really do not have to start braking two miles before you make your exit off the highway. The exit ramp gives you ample opportunity to safely slow down and stop at the cross street. I know it’s true. I’ve done it before. Honestly, I have.

Now, if you decide to ignore my advice, may I kindly suggest you do the following? Get the hell off the road and stay off the road! Go home and change your Depends, fix your Metamucil cocktail, find your teeth (they’re probably in a glass on the kitchen counter or in the bathroom), read your AARP newsletter, review your life insurance and cut a few of those scraggly, overgrown, wiry gray hairs sprouting profusely from your ears. And while you’re at it, if you’re wearing shorts, pull those black nylon socks back up to your knees. They’re very unbecoming drooped around your ankles.

Do anything…I don’t care what it is. Just get off the road!

I have to chime in with Al on this one.
I don't know about anywhere else but here in Florida the kids on the crotch rockets are an additional problem.
From popping wheelies to senseless speeding,cutting you off,or just plain reckless driving.
One of them a week ends up dead here because of their lack of common sense.
There is a web site dedicated to bad drivers where you can post the offenders license plate number.

www.platewire.com

Drive safe!

Bill, that's what I say...LOCALIZE laws.

Auntie Rant...do kegal.

Al, I was wondering what that thingamabob on the steering column was...thank you!

Joe, I have some extra baskets.

Kaufman, yer such a hippie!

Carry on, everybody!

Ooo, I like that.

Ranting tonight, ranting tonight,
Ranting on the old camp grou-ou-ound...

Joe

Already done it! "C'mon Big Brother, "When Did The World Pass Me By", "Smoker's Blues", "Somehow We Survived It All"...Most of my songs are BASED on my various rants!

I rant
Therefore I am
Wy

Yes, Bob. So have I with "I Can't Depend on Depend," and "So Much For Fiber." I'm working on a new one entitled, "The Government Can Eat Me." I think you'll like it. It's a catchy little tune...

Auntie Rant

Al,
You should write a song called "Driving Miss Crazy!" Words like "stick shift" come into mind.

Or maybe a song about "Driver's Ed" who is never adhering to the rules of the road? "Driver's Ed is not right in the head..."


VENT THOSE RANTS OUT PEOPLE!!! PUT 'EM IN A SONG OR DO A "RANT CHANT." LET'S HEAR WHAT YA' GOT!

Auntie Rant

God, you guys are making me laugh!

I love this "Legalize pot" stuff. My Dad grew it in these 10 foot long PVC tubes in a controlled room basement with glow lights, automatic feeders, etc. Grew about 60, 7 foot tall plants which all died when they had to move the room due to police coming to get him. Another one of my Father's hair brained, get rich schemes that failed.
He was a 30 year tax protester, so I can just see people trying to track him down to force him to pay taxes on pot. Who would police that? Who would collect the taxes? How? The police can't even patrol blatant illegals coming into the country. How exactly would that tax enforcement work?
I guess my rant is always in things that are not thought through. Kind of like most of what we hear from the current administration. Every kind of "Wave the magic wand" approach and problems will just dissapear. Problems caused by wasting money? Throw more money. People that want to destroy everybody and every thing? Just be nice to them.Have problems exaserbated or caused by governement involvement? Take over every company, every aspect of life by a government that does almost nothing well.
I suppose that is my Rant. The absence of common sense in almost every facet of society.

MAB

As for local government, our Neighbor Americans had it down.
The Cherokee Apache, Kiowa, Lakota nations governed from within their camps, and it worked for them.

As for the government list?

F**k 'em.

IF OUR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH US, AS THE POPULATION, WHATSOEVER, MARIJUANA WOULD BE LEGAL, TOBACCO WOULD NOT BE SUDDENLY OUT OF REACH BY THE AVERAGE AMERICAN WHO SIMPLY CHOOSES TO INDULGE, AND LOCAL, STATE, AND FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WOULD BE ALL ABOUT HOW TO LOOK OUT FOR US, INSTEAD OF HOW TO SCREW US OUT OF EVERYTHING.

I'm so sick of senseless rantings just in hopes of winning a prize. Geez, count me in.
But I'd imagine the promoter has a secret agenda and already knows who's going to win. Why I even read that they might come up with their own rants for the finals and not let the common-man ranter even have a change. Why this marketing tactic is soooo American Idol.

Aww, c'mon man, it's the chance of a lifetime for us to bitch about whatever and get away with it!!!!!!!

There is nothing to be won, not in war, not in life, nothing to be won, because in the bitter bloody end, we all go to the same place.

Just enjoy the thread, this opportunity may not just manifest all by itself anytime soon.....or ever again.

My rants would have to be categorized because there are so many of them, but I believe the ordinary men and women of this world have to go back to fighting for their rights. I have two petitions running on www.petitiononline.com. The first one is an effort to break the corporate stranglehold in retail. At the end of WWII about 80 percent of retail was still family owned. Today the opposite is true, with around 80 percent being corporate owned. Sure, we can vote with our wallets, but in some segments of the retail market the big players (think not only Wal-Mart but Walgreen's, Borders Books and even Jiffy Lube) have saturated the market place so thoroughly that most patrons have no choice but to go there. One of the last independent pharmacies in this area closed a few weeks ago, and at this point I decided it was time to renew my energies in this area. There are plenty of corporate "bad guys" and a few do get comeuppances, but we need to go further.

Another thing is that we are losing a lot of our rights, as well as so many jobs being outsourced. President Obama has promised that he will end this debacle of tax breaks going to such companies, and hope he succeeds. There is also so much snooping that no one can tell me that blacklisting doesn't still exists. For example, if a prospective applicant admits that he likes to read Playboy magazine, he is very often disqualified for jobs. To me this is every bit as discriminatory as being denied due to race or religion. This will continue until the American public decides to speak up and once again beging bucking the system as they did in the 60's. I wonder if the folks who dumped the tea in Boston harbor are turning over in their graves.

Before we forget completely, we all might be inclined to thank Auntie Rant for giving us this unique opportunity.

She did this by herself, not after being forced or cajoled by anyone, at least not that I'm aware of.

For me, I want to say that I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread, and am looking forward to seeing how far it goes.

Love,

Our very own personal reptile.

Convenience stores. The guy in front of the line buying scratch off lottery tickets who wants to scratch the ticket right there while a line forms behind him.
The same guy than buys a pack of cigarettes and proceeds to pound the pack (to pack them in I guess) into oblivion on the counter.

Tom,
You told me you wouldn't blow our cover! Now, I can't let you win that new kilt!

Sam,
Tom was kidding....but you are my hero!

Ben,
You're still a hottie!

Beechnut,
Welcome to the Rant!

Auntie Rant

Heidi...
i don't know if this is appropriate, but here's a "rant" i sent to Disney here in Florida concerning their last "Food & Wine Expo"... i never got a response... wonder why?

dear mickey, donald, goofy, and the rest of you guys...
re: food and whine expo

i've been an avid supporter and customer/fan of epcot and wdw for years. food and wine expo since the beginning. loved it. always had a blast and great experiences. this year, not so. let me tell you why.

for some reason, an event which anyone with common sense could read and see is for all intents, an adult gathering, became an excuse to allow children/kids to run rampant throughout epcot, bumping drinks, spilling food, yelling and coming off like a deleted scene from "lord of the flies".

i found the numbers of strollers, combined with the scooters, rascals and golf cart sized, battery-operated fat chariots to be more than i or my companions could navigate safely through given that your extra booths for international cuisines were jutted out into the used-to-be ample walking and transport areas. the funneling of human flesh through 6 foot corridors was overwhelming, especially given that every biped appendage was balancing an overpriced nibble of some delicacy or a plastic cup of fermented grapejuice which after the knocking of heads and elbows allowed one to find a spot to quietly sample the few remaining drops in the cup. most of it was now soaking into the fabric of whatever garment adorned your body, having been dribbled down your pants to become an everlasting ornament to the wonderful day spent at epcot! along with the crushed toes and half-severed achilles tendons from the footplates and bumpers of 700 lb. uncle norton's rascal or tad and marcie's double playskool stroller containing little chad and barbie who are happily reaching out to touch someone with a handful of some sticky, sweet concoction or worse.

i realize this country has become a woeful example of good health but this era of enabling behavior is not making things any better. your availability of "fat chariots" for rental is, i'm sure, a very "healthy" (pardon the pun) profit for the park... but let me ask that you consider instituting a policy of "need"? 75% of the people you rent these scooters to are nothing more than lazy, out of shape, fat, disgusting slobs who, for a price, can fancy themselves superior to those of us who choose to walk and try to balance a day of caloric debauchery with "exercise". jeez, what a concept?

the mindset of a "scooter pooter" is one of elitism... they actually think and act as if they have the right of way to do as they please, when they please and to hell with anyone in their way. this of course, is usually not the case for those individuals who actually are infirmed, disabled and do really need motorized transport. they bring their own because they actually do need it... all the time! and most, are polite and patient and the same attitude is returned just by that posturing.

the useless flesh bags who rent your "chariots of fire" have no concern for anyone on 2 legs and they definitely have no sense of rules, or safety... especially at dusk and night lighting levels inside epcot. and that's another thing... the promenade should be better lit, especially if you're going to rent "go-carts" to "jabba the huts" and allow them to speed freak around the world knocking over healthy people and adding to the numbers of wheelchair bound invalids! i smell a lawsuit coming soon if this is not rectified. rudeness is a given by most of these fat slobs... they simply wind up the battery and launch their mechanical monster into the crowd of shuffling humanity. arms, legs, tendons and concession morsels go flying askew. screams and curses, power over the din of an over-the-hill, flower power, one-hit wonder, burned out hippie band at america's gardens. it's a horrible scene in which open-handed slaps dance upon uncle goober's fat head, but still he doesn't know how he got this thing to go this fast nor how many $5 cups of wine and $7.50 mini racks of lamb he launched into the cool, florida night air? but god forbid, he's still holding onto that funnel cake!

may i ask what the hell is up with that 747 landing light on the front of those "fat gurneys"? by now, we're bleeding, stained, incontenant and incoherent, shuffling like the bataan death march, taking turns dragging one another, glancing over our shoulders and screaming "oh god, sheila, here comes another one! jog, if you can, to your right, your right, oh no... go left!" to turn from that into the retina scorching glare of another horror... not one, but 2 or 3 blubberwagons, side by side! we know it's over now... we simply give it up, no where to go, no one to turn to, trapped like deer in the headlights of a winnebago. they continue on, plowing through the field of human flesh, herding waves of strangers into our "personal space". we try to grab another human as a shield, try to clutch to something that can pull us to safety but all we can grip is a glowing necklace. the moans, the cursing, the crushing of bone... this will be months of therapy. miraculously, we've been spared the blitzkrieg of side by side blubberbuggies. we find refuge on a bench, along with other survivors... we share stories, we laugh, we cry, we get ourselves together as much as possible and prepare for the next wave. we wish each other good luck and give up our seats for the next survivors to limp to a haven of safety. on the way out, sheila discovers a wound... the gash is wide and the bleeding is ominous. we dive for the cover of grass outside the paved stream of humanity and wheeled deathwagons. i spot a refreshment area directly across the way serving a nice selection of reds. i tell her i'm going to attempt to procure a beverage for us and she should remain here, applying pressure to the wound until it's stable. i lock my sites on the target, acquire a path and launch myself across the flow of humanity and wheeled dangers. 15 minutes and one dislocated knee later, i arrive at the "line". i rest for a spell, check my toes and glance over at sheila who is curled into a fetal ball... i fear shock may sit in before i can get back to her! eventually i am in front of what appears to be a small child of bulbous proportions, who smiles and asks me what i would like. i say "2 cabernets please"? to which she responds "to whom is the other person whom is drinking?" at this point, i turn around and way off across the way in the gloom and fast covering darkness, i point towards the black forest and say... "my wife... she's been injured and needs the alcohol!" the pouty queen extorts... "i must hand her the other drink, i can only hand you one drink sir!"

o.k., i could go on with this but here's where it stops and gets absolutely stupid and ridiculous!

know why the kids were so bad this year? because of that retarded serving restriction. picture this, mommy is holding back little bobbie from going over the fence and into the lake after the freakin' ducks. daddy jimbo is up ordering some gourmet treats and wants a varietal he hasn't seen before, so he orders one for the missus and hears this "to whom is the other person whom is drinking?" he turns to see mommy's strained, glaring red face pulling and yelling at little bobbie, who is screaming at the top of his lungs. jimbo points to the scene and says, "my wife, she's over there with her hands full!" "i must hand her the other drink, i can only hand you one drink sir!" so after a few choice mumbled curse words daddy jimbo yells across the way to mommy, "yo, janie, turn the little bastard loose and come get your merlot!"

all in all, i'm over it. i've had an annual pass which seems like forever, but i don't think anymore. things have to change. you guys are (or were) innovators of moral, social examples, not so much prone to swallow the dollar for every little thing. it's trivial to some, but it's the small things that make up a society and the way we conduct "synergy" between one another. it's got to get better and you can start by using a bit of common sense:
• lazy people do not need carts. they can walk like everyone else... they don't wanna, they can see epcot from the monorail.
• if really fat and obese people are that bad off, they should be at a fat farm, not epcot. it's unsafe even for them... my god, i've seen 7-800 pounders stradling those scooters, bustling along at 3 mph., waddles, batwings and thighs flapping in the breeze, taking out small people and children like no ones business! and the real horror is just waiting to happen, one day or night, that scooter will give up the ghost, blow a battery, lock up and throw the behemoth off the seat and onto someone... crushing them to death no doubt!
• your security folks need to enforce driving rules on the walkways.
• you need to light the darkness better.
• where there's alcohol, there should be no kids. (period) i personally witnessed little ones and teens carrying full wine cups.

a really disappointed, ex-annual passholder, who most times never complains and has a good time at your vacation kingdoms, but lately has sensed a decline in guest satisfaction and lackluster concern for the well-being of all. meh.

r. murrey
titusville, florida

Oh, I've written some rants myself. I figured, though, that what we were after was a "Rant for Auntie." Something new and different. In these I-hope-these-aren't-the-good-old-days days, it's not like there's a shortage of rantables.

And I could use a new cover myself. The old one's getting a little thin...

Joe

Wow...R.,
Righteous rant!

Auntie

Just an initial while-the-dog-is-outside-peeing thought:

Let's have a Rant for Auntie,
We can put it in a song,
Lots of things bother Auntie,
She's been bothered way too long;
We can rant about the government
And how it's screwed our lives,
And how we can't smoke cigarettes
And no one else can drive;
The economy's in shambles,
They won't fix it 'cause they can't--
Let's sing a Rant for Auntie
'Cause Auntie needs a Rant!

Ragtime, I think (that's just bluegrass music with a calliope). I'm sure there can be more...

Joe

Let's sing a Rant for Auntie,
We can have a real good time,
Just be sure to watch your meter
And Auntie likes it when you rhyme;
We can rant about New Jersey,
And Cincinnati, too,
And the President, and Billy Gates,
And maybe me and you;
The world will end in three more years,
I'd stop it but I can't--
I'll just go Rant to Auntie,
'Cause Auntie likes a Rant.

Joe

Hey..NO Rant Today...The House a Block away behind the Clock Shop musta had an Eviction/Repossesion..& there were TONS of goodies all-piled-up alongside the Trash Cans. KNOW it's been Empty for Weeks. So..snagged a nice-condition, but Dusty, Hoover Vacuum for La Femme..a BIG Rubberemaid Storage Tub...lotsa Misc. STUFF..& felt like MAYBE we got a LITTLE Ahead in this Pathetic Economy today. (On the backs of someone Less-Fortunate..I admit..I regret,too.)

(Anyone need a nice Shiny Champagne Bucket, contact me, we DON'T Need It...but it was too shiny to leave just sittin' there for the Trash Men.)

Off to the next House Call...cue up James Brown's "Livin' In America"....& Off We Gooo!

Big Hugs,
Stan

I have too many rants to list. The one for today is about the police not enforcing laws that have been on the books for years in every community I know of. Why can't we go for a ride or walk on the streets of America today without being exposed to profane/extremely vulgar songs being played at a level most rock concerts can't match. There are laws against disturbing the peace, creating a public nuisance and public obscenity everywhere I know of. I don't care if people want to listen to this crap in their homes, or at public venues where you know what to expect when you go there, but anyone who doesn't want to hear it shouldn't be punished with it. Nuff said?