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A test
by bennash - 05/26/26 07:18 AM
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Rob
by Rob B. - 05/25/26 11:14 PM
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,400
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OP
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Hi Everybody, Just another love song. This hook came from the movie "Hitch". It was such a great line, I had to use it in a song. I hope you like it. Demo and Pickin' Jim Heffernan Vocals? John W. Selleck http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=812414&songID=6490693Our Last First Kiss I close my eyes in memory Of when I first saw you Remembering the moment Before our love was new We recognized each other Two souls destined to join Each date led to another We quickly became one As our lips came together------------------ {Chorus My only thought was this I hope for forever This is our last first kiss I want us to remember This as our last first kiss Every step I’d taken Was leading me to you Sometimes it felt like a maze But the path was true My hearts always been yours Though I didn’t know I’ve waited for a lifetime For our love to grow As our lips came together------------------ {Chorus My only thought was this I hope for forever This is our last first kiss I want us to remember This as our last first kiss Instrumental break As our lips came together------------------ {Chorus My only thought was this I hope for forever This is our last first kiss I want us to remember This as our last first kiss This is our last first kiss Copyright 2007 John W. Selleck
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Joined: May 2006
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i have a writer who's a good friend out in Denver, Joe Licktieg, who has a killer song named First Last Kiss...the jist of which the singer says...this ain't my first last kiss another swing and a miss he's had a couple indie cuts with it and is still shopping it for a major cut if he can find it. just shows you how interrealated song ideas are, unbeknowst to anyone...you have a good idea here with good sentiment in the lyric...it's going to take another singer to bring this one to life, i kept wanting to hear the melody kick it up a notch, but i ain't tellin' you somethin' you don't know, you're doin' the right thing, get 'em written, catalogged before the idea slips away, then pick and choose the gems out of the bunch to do full blown demos on that will compete favorably, you'll have a stack of 'em when you get to Nashville...hook up with a co-writer that runs a studio...ha...best of both worlds...that's what the Hannah Montana song says...best of both worlds...ha...see ya and good luck with it...Moker
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Hi Moker,
Thanks for the listen, glad you like it. You are right, my singing ain't the best. I'm getting this, and another 5 redone by a real vocalist before I get back to TN. It should give them a lot better chance, and I think they're worth it. The main reason I'm doing any singing at all on these it to get the feel I want in them, and my studio guy says they're coming out better musically. We'll see how it all turns out when I get down there and start pitching for real.
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Joined: Dec 2006
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Hey John,
I like the tone of the piece , and the tone of your voice also.
It's not my genre, but my main comment would be that the vocal phrasing is sounding mechanical, and that's because you're striking the notes exactly on the beat. I could run a metronome through this, and each word ans syllable ends up exacly on a 4 count.
I think you're probably concentrating on pitch ( which is fine ), but tryng a more relaxed approach will give the vocal line more depth and a better sense of expression .
Good song. A bit retro, but easily adaptable.
cheers, niteshift
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Hi Nite,
Thanks for the listen, the compliments, and the good advice. I have never been a real singer. I did backup on two sides of a rock 45RPM record in the mid 60's, but that's been the extent of it. You are telling me the same thing my studio guy is. He says I need to learn to sing off the beat. I don't know enough to know how to do that yet, but I'm going to learn. I might make it onto Nashville Star by the time I hit 90 or so. So far, and I think I could be wrong, I think my best sing was the one I posted here before this, "My Friend". It may still be on the beat, but I was more comfortable singing it. Glad you like this one, thanks again.
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Joined: Aug 2005
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Hi John,
It's true, the hook/title is great and you made it work for the song. Call me crazy, but I like your voice on this; it sounds very downhome and sincere to me...maybe that's not commercial but it is pleasant to listen too.
Clint
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Hi John,
I like this. The hook is ideal. It needs some work on the melody of the verses. The melody of the Chorus is pretty but I think you could just stick w/a four line Chorus and skip the last two lines. I also think the 3rd line of the Chorus could be tweaked just alittle melodically and go higher and don't go lower until the 4th line. Very simplistic and worth working on.
Best, Lynn
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Hi Clint,
Thanks for the listen, and all the very kind words. I'm going to spend about the next year working to get my vocals as good as they can be. One thing I do know, all my exercising has given me plenty of lungs. I can hold a note till my body runs out of oxygen. This is the very first one my studio guy said I stayed on pitch all the way through on. I'm glad you like it, thanks again.
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Hi Lynn,
Thanks for the listen, glad you like the hook, and most of the music. I'll talk to my studio guy about your suggestions. Thanks again.
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Joined: May 2008
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I understand the comments about the phrasing but I like your voice. It has nice quality. You can workout the phrasing. The music is nice. The lyrics are good. Nice song. Good idea for the song. Nice song.
Tom
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Hey John: It's a solid hook but it actually took me awhile to figure out what it meant. I think it's because it's "our last first kiss" instead of "my last first kiss". With "our" in there it sounds like you are saying I hope this is the last time that we have our first kiss with each other - which doesn't make sense to me - it seems self-evident. I suspect you mean though that this is the last first kiss either of us will have with anyone - meaning we're sticking with each other from now on. I'm probably, as usual, over-thinking it  I like your voice on this - like Clint said, it comes across as sincere. Scott
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Hi Tom,
Thanks for the listen, and the nice words. I really appreciate them. I'm going to work very hard to get my voice better. I know the only way to improve anything, is time, practice, and lots of patience.
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Hi Scott,
Thanks for the listen. I do understand about the confusion, but it's the only way to phrase it to get the real meaning across. And you did get it. It means it should be the last "First kiss" either of them will ever have to have. It's a very romantic notion. I'm glad you like it. Thanks again.
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 433
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Hi John Pretty song. I think your voice sounds great on it. You have a nice tone to your voice. Enjoyed the listen. Take Care. Steve
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Hi Steve,
Thanks for the listen, and the very nice compliments. I am trying to learn to sing, words like yours give me a lot of encouragement. Thanks again
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Joined: Apr 2001
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John.... I enjoy listening to your voice. The only thing i noticed...was what Geoff Said...about singing so much so..(meticulously) on the beat.....(uh..some of us... as she kicks herself a bit...can't play to a beat...YET <G>) Anyways...I also really liked your hook and got it...and thought that was pretty cool!!... best..... Kaley 
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Joined: Oct 2007
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John,
I liked your voice on this. I really liked the part at the end where the harmonies kicked-in. It gave it that Everly Brothers kind of feel again (like the Very, Very Very song) and I almost think you could take that kind of approach with it as well. Maybe if you try just a softer rounder tone to your singing that would match a bit better with the music, which is kind of delicate. The lyric is very nice too. Anyway, just a couple of thoughts...you know what to do with them if they don't work for you.
I wish you great success with this and the other's you've had up here.
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