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Real Deal
by Brian Austin Whitney - 05/07/26 01:38 AM
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Flyte
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/06/26 05:36 PM
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Got some suggestions from the people on Lyric Board 3 for this and was able to get Louis (Thanks Louis!) to help out with the vocal.  The song is not about the Danziger Bridge incident in Post Katrina New Orleans - It's a fictional account that only refers to the incident. Any suggestions welcome. Song is here: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6332623Lyric is below. Thanks! Scott Danziger Bridge (c) 2008 by SW Campbell My name's John Thibodeaux, and since the day the levee broke I've been afraid to go outside my house Heard the call to evacuate, for me it came one day too late For my Mama's sick and I couldn't get her out Now there's looters left and right, I hear gunfire day and night And my neighbor's body's laying out there where he drowned Even the cops are all on edge, I heard on Danziger Bridge Yesterday they shot some unarmed people down But there's no choice, I gotta be out on the streets tonight I gotta find a store that has my Mama's meds But I have my Daddy's gun, 'cause I'm not going down Like those folks up on Danziger Bridge. Well my name is Will Dupree, thirteen years NOPD And I've spent the last eight days in these same clothes I got my family to Baton Rouge, but I'm here living on junk food And the flood, well, it took everything we owned Our thin blue line is stretched and frayed, seems half the force is out of play And the rest of us are just about to drop There's no one left with a lick of sense, why up on Danziger Bridge Just yesterday a gang fired on some cops Now a call's come in a looter's in that drug store over there And so I make my wife this solemn pledge I'll go in with weapon drawn, because I won't be fired on Like those men up on Danziger Bridge Instrumental Break Though a storm of the century can shape a destiny It's as easily a single finger twitch And good people stand and fall when desperation comes to call In a place like on Danziger Bridge
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Scott....I really like this. The delivery is perfect for the story. The story is a great example of telling the story without judgement. The music is sold and understated. Quite good all around. I thoroughly enjoyed the ode to the life's of two victims of one of America's darkest hours. Great tune!!!!! Terry
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Wow, now this is what a Folk song is supposed to do. This is great!
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Hi Terry - Hi Henry: Thanks for the kind words. Did quite a bit of research for this one. Every one of those lines happened to someone - though not the same person Appreciate the comments... Scott
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Scott,
This is superb! Great lyric and melody. Well performed. It has it all!
Ironically, my supervisor for a number of yyears while I was in the Army (NCOIC for you military type) was named John Thibodeaux. But, he was from Maine, not Lousiana.
Great song!
Alan
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This is a just a great song. Wonderful performance by you and Louis. Loved it all!
Kevin
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Scott,
This one moved me to tears. Good song, that's all I can say.
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(Long, low whistle.) You sure know how to write a great song, Scott. And the interplay between the two voices is brilliant...Scott's husky style and Louis's sharper but deeper voice makes the two characters come alive. Really does. Thibodeaux...man, that name just takes you to New Orleans immediately. Love how the percussion comes in later, then the chorus harmonies in full Campbellesque splendor.
Only ONE tiny thing I can offer by way of criticism...all the words flow conversationally in the way they would normally be weighted, except the words "junk food". In this lyric, the word "food" is necessarily hit harder, making it sound a bit unnatural. Normally it would sound like JUNK food. Anal, yes, but that's all I could come up with.
Great stuff, Twinnbell. -mk
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Great song. The two storytellers structure works really well. Love the way you take the storyline right up to the point of conflict/tension but then let us come up with our own ending - kind of like a Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid type ending, we know this ain't gonna end well.
..ant
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Fantastic, I was sent into New Orleans by my employer right after Katrina, this song really touched me, and reminded me how tense things really were there.
You have really done a nice job of catching the mood both musicaly and lyricaly. I also like how you left it a mystery as to what happened inside that drug store.
I'm inclined to be musical
But I'm not musicaly inclined
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Hi Scott & Louis Hat's off to you guys. Totally enjoyed the words/music/the feel of ot all. Keep up the good work, I'm jealous of your talent. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Scott,
Ironically, my supervisor for a number of yyears while I was in the Army (NCOIC for you military type) was named John Thibodeaux. But, he was from Maine, not Lousiana.
Thanks, Alan, for the nice comments. Man, that's weird that I picked the name of someone you know - must have made you do a double-take.  Scott
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This is a just a great song. Wonderful performance by you and Louis. Loved it all!
Kevin Thanks Kevin - this one took longer than normal to come out. Scott
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Scott: Real strong gem of a song here I think. Produced real well. Real emotional and real tight. Sad but I like the way it goes. Lyrics are high quality stuff. Tells a real fine story keeps my ears and my heart riveted. Can feel the anxiety of the characters. Superb!!
I think this is one of y'alls best.................Paul
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Scott,
This one moved me to tears. Good song, that's all I can say. Sorry we made you cry, Wendy - Louis has that effect Glad you think its a good song! Love your avatar, by the way..... Scott
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Scott: FOrgot to add this one's goin on my Ipod. Thanks for the free download.
Paul
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Hi Scott and Louis Well I like this as a lyric and I love how you handled the tying together at the end . I love the harmonies, but I would change where they are in terms of lines..... I'll put my thoughts here so you can consider. ................................ I heard on Danziger Bridge Yesterday they shot some unarmed people down ............................. I gotta be out on the streets tonight I gotta find a store that has my Mama's meds ................................................. Like those folks up on Danziger Bridge. ..................................... why up on Danziger Bridge Just yesterday a gang fired on some cops ...............................that drug store over there And so I make my wife this solemn pledge .................................... because I won't be fired on Like those men up on Danziger Bridge ......................................................... It's as easily a single finger twitch ....................................when desperation comes to call In a place like on Danziger Bridge second time Bigger..... It's very nice the way you have it, but I think it can have more impact in this way. Take or leave. jm
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I'm with everyone above on this. Can't think of any way to improve it. I was totally caught by surprise when Louis came in and that is good. It reminded me of the first time I heard "Pancho and Lefty". Ben
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(Long, low whistle.) You sure know how to write a great song, Scott. And the interplay between the two voices is brilliant...Scott's husky style and Louis's sharper but deeper voice makes the two characters come alive. Really does. Thibodeaux...man, that name just takes you to New Orleans immediately. Love how the percussion comes in later, then the chorus harmonies in full Campbellesque splendor.
Only ONE tiny thing I can offer by way of criticism...all the words flow conversationally in the way they would normally be weighted, except the words "junk food". In this lyric, the word "food" is necessarily hit harder, making it sound a bit unnatural. Normally it would sound like JUNK food. Anal, yes, but that's all I could come up with.
Great stuff, Twinnbell. -mk Thanks, Lyle. Yeah, I was concerned about the vocals - Louis's voice cuts through steel - mine cuts through butter That's why I gave him the "cop" part. Also, I knew that part had the junk food line in it Seriously, I know what you mean about that line. Our songwriting mentor, Harriet Schock, talked about that once. I think I'm using a female word to rhyme with a male word. I can't remember which is which - I mean logic would suggest that junk food is the male word - but I think it's more general than that Thanks for the kind words, Lyle... Scott
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Great song. The two storytellers structure works really well. Love the way you take the storyline right up to the point of conflict/tension but then let us come up with our own ending - kind of like a Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid type ending, we know this ain't gonna end well.
..ant Hi Ant: Thanks! Yeah, I puzzled a bit about how to write an ending to a no-win situation. There was a movie ages ago with, I think, Johnny Cash and Kirk Douglas who played gunslingers who were friends. Somehow the town talked them into a shootout. I forget how.... Anyway, I believe they shot the ending both ways and showed both of them.....That might have been an interesting approach, but I reckon I'll leave it like it is, as it appeals to me too.... Scott
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Thanks, Red - glad I captured the mood for you. I've been to New Orleans a few times but they were better times.... My wife suggested for the ending that I have our kitten, Millie, walk into the store and both men would want to pet her. But I just couldn't make it work Scott Ha - you tricked me! Was scrolling through and thought, Dang, I jumped over Barry's response"
Last edited by Scott Campbell; 03/07/08 01:59 AM.
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This is a really great song, you Dueling Daltons. Excellent job on the lyrics. And vocals and music were great. Not a big fan of the phaser guitar, but that's a minor nit. A fiddle would be killer though. This one should have some legs, best of luck!
Pete
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well well, now I know why I got stuck with the "Junk food" line..lol.. Scott will do it to you everytime, lol.. Appreciate all the remarks. Appreciate Scott for letting me sing with him, it was fun.. He's really getting good at producing stuff.
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Hey Louis is that a shoulder holster you have on in your picture. What kind of heat do you carry? {:-)
Pete
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Hey I had to get in the mood to sing this song
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Let's go get some donuts?
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lol, I like the powdery ones
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Another nice collab boys...love these "storyteller" songs..the lyrical content is well "sculpted"...and a little touch of JPF's own version of "The Highwaymen"...enjoyed the listen,well done..Terry...
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Scott, I saw this first in the lyric forum and really like how you chose to end this. You complete the message, but leave it to our imagination at the same time. (if that makes sense!) Very nice! I like how you and Louis deliver the song as well. Great work! Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Wow Scott,
Just wow.....
Letha
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Thanks Calvin - glad you enjoyed it. I'm jealous of that happy, quirky, stuff YOU do. Scott
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Scott: Real strong gem of a song here I think. Produced real well. Real emotional and real tight. Sad but I like the way it goes. Lyrics are high quality stuff. Tells a real fine story keeps my ears and my heart riveted. Can feel the anxiety of the characters. Superb!!
I think this is one of y'alls best.................Paul Thanks, Paul. If you felt their anxiety, then I hit pretty close to what I was aiming at. I'm honored that you put it on your iPod! Scott
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Hi Scott and Louis
Well I like this as a lyric and I love how you handled the tying together at the end . I love the harmonies, but I would change where they are in terms of lines..... I'll put my thoughts here so you can consider.
Hi Joice: I think you have some ideas worth exploring there - I didn't give the harmonies as much thought as I should have. Will give your suggestions a try (harmonies are never a chore for me ). Thanks for the ideas! Scott
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I'm with everyone above on this. Can't think of any way to improve it. I was totally caught by surprise when Louis came in and that is good. Yeah, I pulled out my secret weapon for this one. Thanks, Ben - glad you liked it. Scott
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This is a really great song, you Dueling Daltons. Excellent job on the lyrics. And vocals and music were great. Not a big fan of the phaser guitar, but that's a minor nit. A fiddle would be killer though. This one should have some legs, best of luck!
Hey Pete: Fiddle would be a good fit for this, I think. Maybe I can talk my mother-in-law into coming up with something. Wow - Louis is packing heat! I never noticed that before you mentioned it. Gonna have to start watching my mouth. Thanks for the comments and the idea.... Scott
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He's really getting good at producing stuff. Except, apparently, donuts Thanks again, man.... Scott
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This kind of falls into a genre where you might find songs like "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". I enjoyed it. There were a lot of little things that occurred to me that I though would make it better- mostly in the way it is phrased; and I thought it could benefit from a modification of the verse melody when you run two verse back to back, but generally I thought this was very good. Having two voices reminded me of songs like "The Highwayman" and "Poncho and Lefty" so that would definitely put this song in good company. Scott, I thought you sang this in too low a key for your voice but it did seem to be right for Louis's voice. It this was a movie I guess I would give it a "thumbs up"!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
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Another nice collab boys...love these "storyteller" songs..the lyrical content is well "sculpted"...and a little touch of JPF's own version of "The Highwaymen"...enjoyed the listen,well done..Terry... Thanks, Terry - appreciate it! Will check out The Highwaymen... Scott
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I saw this first in the lyric forum and really like how you chose to end this. You complete the message, but leave it to our imagination at the same time. (if that makes sense!) Hi Kristi: Makes perfect sense - was exactly what I was shooting for. Thanks for nudging me on the other board to add a finish to it Scott
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I'll take that any day Thanks, Letha! Scott
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This kind of falls into a genre where you might find songs like "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald". I enjoyed it. There were a lot of little things that occurred to me that I though would make it better- mostly in the way it is phrased; and I thought it could benefit from a modification of the verse melody when you run two verse back to back, but generally I thought this was very good. Having two voices reminded me of songs like "The Highwayman" and "Poncho and Lefty" so that would definitely put this song in good company. Scott, I thought you sang this in too low a key for your voice but it did seem to be right for Louis's voice. It this was a movie I guess I would give it a "thumbs up"! Thanks for the thumbs-up, Joe. Actually, you mentioned the three things about it that give me pause. I made some of the lines flow a little better in the revised lyric (from what I posted on Board 3) but there are still three lines I think could be changed so as to improve the flow. I worked for awhile on trying to come up with a different melody for the second verse of each section. Was unable to find anything I liked better though. As for the key, I hate to admit to making a bone-headed mistake twice but I did. I figured out what key to use when I was coming off a cold. Then, by the time I finished the music tracks a few days later, I found that it should have been a step higher Yeah, is in Louis's sweet spot though.... Thanks for the listen and comments - much appreciated.... Scott
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Scott and Loius,
This is a very very nice song with a great story.. Very well produced and arranged. You two have a good thing goin' in my opinion. I very much like this song.. It deserves 10 thumbs up!
Great job you two!!
BOB
MUSKIE
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Hey guys,
This was a nice listen. Good work working the two vocals in, really captured the mood. Ron
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I very much like this song.. It deserves 10 thumbs up!
Great job you two!!
BOB Thanks, Bob! Cool - because when I play the keyboard, that's how many I have Appreciate the listen and comments! Scott
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Hey guys,
This was a nice listen. Good work working the two vocals in, really captured the mood. Ron Thanks, Ron. Yeah, just wasn't working with the same guy singing all the way through.... Scott
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Scott, Another ringer. Wow. I appreciate the current events lesson too... I don't keep up with all the stories the way I should. You shoulda been buddies with Paul Simon. What I mean is, you're a really GREAT songwriter and your stuff should be OUT there finding a big audience. Great production as usual. I read through the lyric faster than the song went, and I was wondering how you'd deal with the change of character. Then it was Louis! And I thought, "perfect." I know you're done and all, but, I read about the key selection/cold etc and if you re-do it ever, here's a teensy suggestion (although, I like your low register and I think you sound fine just as you are on this one) - if you *want* to - pitch the key up a step for your section, then modulate down for Louis'. Musically that could add something symbolic to it as well. Hmmm.... Anyway, one more really well-done song to add to your growing collection. Linda
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GREAT work guys!
Loved the rolling guitar pattern & feel especially. Nice vocals by both of you, the contrast was very cool. Don't have a clue what or where a Danziger Bridge is lol..
but I like the story & lyrics.
You guys are always thinking of stuff to write about like every other day, how do you do that?
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WOW Scott, I love it. I love story songs, especially if it about a true event. Man I believe this song would find success if radio would only give it a break and play it. Good luck with it, I'm pulling for ya.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240 |
See where you did go back and do a bit of a rewrite since board III....I like the changes....and Love where you took this.... both of you!!....I love both of your voices....and the change up that brings about.... Nice work...Good story!!.. best...to you both Scott and Louis, Kaley
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,943 Likes: 3
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,943 Likes: 3 |
Everett,
You're right. This song is about as good as any song that I have heard on these boards. Scott and Louis have really got to try and pitch this someway, somehow.
Kevin
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