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<sigh>

I tried to add a 'Link', but can't seem to get it to work...So I'll simply say that I would be remiss in my duties, as a friend, if I failed to mention that my songwriting partner, Andrew Thomas Breslin, has had a book published by EncPress, titled 'Mother's Milk'.

Since I can't figure out the Link Thingy, you'll have to Google it...If the thought ever crossed your mind that cows just may have been sent here by Aliens for nefarious purposes, then either buy this book, or seek professional help...Your choice.

Midnite

Thankee Bro Dak...I had No Idea!

So What Breeds end up as Meat-Products/& Which are the Milkers?

Here in Florida, I'm aware that Brama (Bulls?) were imported & bred-in to keep the Local Cows more Heat-Resistant. (So I imagiine we got Cows that MOO here with an Indian-Accent nowadaze...)

Oh..another Interesting Sidebar: It's rumored that Teenage Gals "Blossom"-Earlier becuzza all the Growth Hormones injected/fed into whatever becomes of Our Hamburger Meat Supply....

(Let's Hear It for "Bossie"!);-)>

Best Wishes,
Stan

Her is a small poem I just wrote. In the style of Robert burns.


To a Coo ( cow )



Great big lump o lumbering meat
Too many stomachs and wee tiny feet
Dumb as dirt your no a very smart
Cos All you do is eat and fart

Well coos like music so they say
They’ll listen to country songs all day
I’m not surprised, it all makes sense
Cause just like coos country folk are dense

Without you coos where would we be
No more beefburgers or milk for our tea.
No juicy steaks or hot beef stew
All these things we get from you.

Now all you humans heed my advice
Be kind to coos well its nice to be nice.
And if you don’t want to look a fool
Never try to milk a bull.

Okay! Fine! I didn't start it!

Most of us are familiar with the 'Purple Cow' poem(Can't remember the author), Gillete Burgess:-), but it goes something like this:

I never saw a purple cow.
I hope to never see one.
But I can tell you anyhow.
I'd rather see than be one.

What most people aren't aware of, is that many years later, this fine Poet, Gilette Burgess, wrote this as a lament:

Yes I wrote the Purple Cow.
I rue the day I wrote it.
But I can tell you anyhow.
I'll kill you if you quote it.

True story.

Midnite

try these

http://www.bovinebazaar.com/breeds.htm

http://www.crazyforcows.com/fow/breed_list.shtml

http://www.pauls.com.au/information/information.cfm?/section/3/subsection/25/





Over here they say it's the chicken meat....

cheers

Well it is hardly surprising that the gals have bigger udders after breathing in all the hormone laced cow farts.

P.S. Midnight Bob, I looooved your purple cow poem oh and Ben I just saw your udder one, LOL!!!

Lynn, I just realized that I wasn't quite clear...It was the same Poet, Gilette Burgess(I luv Google) who wrote both poems...Gonna go edit my earlier Post now for clarity porpoises.

Midnite

I've got a few COW tales....My wife and I were in Colorado at the Durango Songwriters Expo and took a few days afterwards to tour the state in our rent-a-jeep, well in NW CO. we jumped off the paved roads onto a gravel stretch of road, the map said it'd be like 40-50 miles , no big deal...20 miles in we started seeing alot of COWS going the opposite direction down the side of the road 5 minutes later a whole bunch of COWS, then hundreds of COWS had us surrounded , there were so many COWS we couldn't move, they were MOOin', bumpin' each other around cause they were a bit pissed they had to go around a jeep, we literally couldn't even open the doors...10 minutes later the COWS started to thin out a little and at the end of the herd of COWS - 6 COWboys "just headin' 'em down to some new grass"---
Also my wife's side of the family has some Pennsylvania farms and one of them is a big HOLSTEIN DAIRY FARM--3 or 4 huge MILK trucks a day pull in and out of there. It is all auto-MILK and the MILKing house is quite an operation...2 or 3 times a day, single file they got to bring all however many hundreds of them in and out, they also do alot in vitro fertilization, I have seen several day or two old CALVES but haven't seen one being born, they keep all the IN-CALF MAMA COWS in a seperate corral.
My mom grew up during the depression and they had a couple of family COWS, that they MILKED regularly of course, she has stories of making the butter right there sittin' in front of their house and walkin' that COW around and even a story about one of the COWS gettin' into someone's still and comin home as a DRUNK COW that soured the MILK for a couple of days. My wife had a favorite COW growing up around her uncles farm, she's still asleep so I can't include the name here yet for the obvious songs that lie here in these stories...make one up...
now go make some Moosic...I'm gonna take a break here and go add some MILK and CREAM to my coffee...see ya 'round the FARM...MOOker

Ya know,
I'm beginning to get a bit steamed here. Cows are getting more attention on these boards than I am! Mooo! When I was much younger I had to milk a couple of cows before I went to school in the morning. Of course the cows were way out in the field when it was time.

However we had a dog and all I had to say to him was Go get the Cows! He would bring them to the barn. My mom would skim off the cream and put it in sealed jars We would put the jars in a concrete trough down over the hill that was fed by water coming out of the hill side.

Whenever we needed butter I would go down and retrieve a jar of cream. I would shake it as I came back up to the house. I would have butter before I got back to the house. We didn't have a refrigator or electricity at the time. My mother canned everything for food storage. Tell these kids about those things today. They wouldn't believe it.

Ray,

Why should they believe it? Have you seen the morality of kids these days?

Midnite

Lovely looking back story Ray. You just wrote a child's story on where butter comes from (and cholesterol) LOL!! I love the part about how you told the dog to go fetch (fetch...I'm already becoming a country gal) the cows and he did!!

Why do I think Joe Wrabek might write a song about a drunk cow after reading Moker's post, I wonder why I'd think that...:) heck I ain't gonna' wait for Joe........

Well down on the farm,
We know cows do no harm,
And they're absent of charm,
That's for sure.
But a cow we called Sue,
Prone to wonder it's true,
Was a cow we all loved and adored.

Couldn't find her one day,
Seems she wondered away,
Found her way to a neighbor's it seems,
She had sniffed out a still,
And she drank up her fill,
Causing quite an embarrassing scene.

She was swaying and swerving,
It was all quite unnerving,
Cause it took her so long to come home,
Well she sure learned a lesson,
Prompting quite a confession,
That never again will she roam,
Oh no, never again will she roam!!

Hey Lynn,
I read your most applicable rhyme and couldn't help but want to see this type of ending...

She was swaying and swerving,
It was all quite unnerving,
Cause it took her so long to return.

And now with milk from her udder,
when we try to make butter
instead, it's buttered rum that we churn.

(I'm sure you can come up with an even better one wherein the result of the cow drinking the booze comes full circle!)

Funny Heidi, Cow Rehab, hmmmmmm?????

That's your NEXT rhyme....

Wow we went from a sweet cow to a drunk cow to a rehabilitated cow to a responsible content cow. I think Sue the cow should go on Oprah!!!

Hey Everette

I think you just coined a phrase "native indians" lol. You mean like the ones from india?
Derek

Was singing a chorus to the "Sue saga"

Sue the cow,
On the prowl,
Found the grass wasn't greener as told,
Although it took time,
She soon realized,
She had joy all along in her soul!

Good one Derek, I should have put Indians in brackets, I was trying to be politically correct.

I just read about a calf named cupid the cow who was just rescued. He has a heart on the top of his head and is super cute.

http://www.farmsanctuary.org/rescue/rescues/2008/cupid.html

Hey Nathan

You need to shore up your thread. It's drifting
Derek

HIDee All!

JUST got time to check out One of Bro Noel's Cow-Sites..& learn about Good Breedin'..heh! Seems I read of 39 Recognized Cow Breeds at BovineBazaar.com! (& that's a Lotta Bulls!!!)

Of the 39, I'd heard of only 12! Favorite "New" Breed:
"Blonde d'Aquitaine!" Sez they go back 6 Centuries! French.."Evolved from Draft Animals"...

I used to know a few Blonds like that...in Younger Daze... ;-)>

SOME of those 39 are "Half-Breeds"...(I'm sure Cher'd appreciate "Beefalos"...)

Waal, off to watch The Grammies...(Geeze..Trish' Yearwood sure doesn't LOOK "Country" tonight..does she?);-)>

Best Wishes/Thanks Bro Noel!
Stan

PS: Got her mixed up with Carrie Underwood. Sorry!

Nathan, that Cupid is a very cute cow, it fell off the transport truck, that type of thing happens alot more than we hear about, like they said he's the lucky one...thanks for the link...Hey Nathan, I see you're planning on coming through and playing St. Augustine this summer, if you haven't venu'd out yet you might try Cafe 11 down there, good luck...Moker

Stuff you always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask



The first bird domesticated by man was the goose.

There are more chickens in the world than people.

Chickens absorb vitamin-D through their combs from sunshine.

The average hen will lay 227 eggs a year

Roosters can't crow if they can't fully extend their necks.

A group of geese on the ground is gaggle, a group of geese in the air is skein.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Chickens that lay brown eggs have red ear lobes. There is a genetic link between the two.

The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.

The placement of a donkey's eyes in its' heads enables it to see all four feet at all times.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs, because a cows' knees can't bend properly to walk back down.

A female swine, or a sow, will always have a even number of teats or nipples, usually twelve.

Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink."

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

A Holstein's spots are like fingerprints -- no two cows have the same pattern of spots.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

A pig's penis is shaped like a corkscrew.

It is physically impossible for pigs to lookup into the sky.

A pig's skin is thickest at the back -- 1/6 of an inch.

The "wild" horses of western North America are actually feral, not wild.

Over the average lifespan of 11 years, a dog will cost you $13,350.00.

When a female horse and male donkey mate, the offspring is called a mule, but when a male horse and female donkey mate, the offspring is called a hinny.

The way to get more mules is to mate a male donkey with a female horse.

A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't.

Pigs, walruses and light-colored horses can be sunburned.

Today's cattle are descended from two species: wild aurochs -- fierce and agile herd animals that populated Asia, North Africa and Europe -- and eotragus -- anantelope-like, Asian forest creature.

Horses cannot vomit.

Goat's eyes have rectangular pupils.

A 1,200-pound horse eats about seven times it's own weight each year.

A capon is a castrated rooster.

A Cornish game hen is really a young chicken, usually 5 to 6 weeks of age, that weighs no more than 2 pounds.

A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.

A Holstein's spots are like a fingerprint or snowflake. No two cows have exactly the same pattern of spots.

A normal cow's stomach has four compartments: the rumen, the recticulum (storage area), the omasum (where water is absorbed), and the abomasum ( the only compartment with digestive juices).

A quarter of the horses in the US died of a vast virus epidemic in 1872.

Brown eggs come from hens with red feathers and red ear lobes; white eggs come from hens with white feathers and white ear lobes. Shell color is determined by the breed of hen and has no effect on its quality, nutrients or flavor.

By feeding hens certain dyes they can be made to lay eggs with varicolored yolks.

Elephants can communicate using sounds that are below the human hearing range: between 14 and 35 hertz.

Female chickens, or hens, need about 24 to 26 hours to produce one egg. Thirty minutes later they start the process all over again. In addition to the half-hour rests, some hens rest every three to five days and others rest every 10 days.

Hummingbirds are the smallest birds - so tiny that one of their enemies is an insect, the praying mantis.

In its entire lifetime, the average worker bee produces 1/12th teaspoon of honey.

On average, pigs live for about 15 years.

Pigs, walruses and light-colored horses can be sunburned.

Prairie dogs are not dogs. A prairie dog is a kind of rodent.

lol too

thanks so much Moker, i'll be sure to check that venue out.
St. Augustine is such a beautiful city.

Do they have any cows as well?

that's a lot of milk..

did you know that cows cannot give milk unless they have recently given birth to a calf? because of this they are impregnated twice a year or so for many years.

ever wonder what they do with the baby calves?

They make great Veal sandwiches.

veal sandwiches eh?

... why can't they be a little nicer to cows? anyone?

Washington was on Monday facing calls for stricter controls over meat production after the second-biggest US supplier of beef to school lunch programmes issued the largest-ever recall of ground beef.

Westland/Hallmark Meat, based near Los Angeles, voluntarily recalled more than 143m pounds of meat on Sunday after the government said it was unfit for human consumption.

The US Department of Agriculture said it had evidence the company’s plant was slaughtering downer cattle – cows that could not walk. In such cases, slaughterhouses should contact inspectors immediately to avoid processing cows with Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, or mad cow disease.

“It is extremely unlikely that these animals were at risk for BSE because of the multiple safeguards,” said Ed Schafer, the secretary of agriculture. “However, this action is necessary because plant procedures violated USDA regulations.”

The recall involved beef dating back more than two years. “The date February 1 2006 has been chosen because the evidence indicates that this practice was going on back to that date,” said Dick Raymond, undersecretary for food safety.

The action was prompted by a six-week investigation by the Humane Society of the United States, in which it secretly filmed workers using electric prods to force downer cows to stand up, forcing hoses into their nostrils and ramming them with the blades of a forklift truck.

Michael Markarian, executive vice-president of the society, said it had released the results of its investigation three weeks ago. The USDA had been investigating since then, as had local prosecutors, who last Friday filed criminal charges against two former employees at the slaughterhouse.

Mr Markarian questioned the USDA’s assertion that this was an isolated case.

Sadly the truth is they hate the job and take it out on the livestock... So many cows (pigs, goats sheep etc) are killed everyday in the workplace that the workers do not connect (if they did they'd not be able to do the job) the beast they are abottoiring with a living breathing creature that has a personality and feelings. It is just a piece of dead meat that hasn't stopped breathing yet. We are an omnivor ... and we must have our meat... someone has to do it... but greed stops the government from paying for more inspectors to make sure excessive cruelty does not occur.

Vote for peace..... Vote for a woman.

Yes, I saw that on the news last night. Where are those animal rights organizations like Green Peace when this is going on. They are out at the seal hunt that is done humanely, but they can misrepresent it in order to raise millions of dollars from bleeding heart people because they think seals are cute. Let them go into some of these slaughter houses if they want to see cruelty.

I think it has something to do with our mindset.

somewhere in our mind it is unacceptable for seals to be treated poorly, while it is somehow less shocking for other types of creatures to be treated badly.

In reality, shouldn't ALL creatures be valued and respected?

Indeed. I think nothing about someone getting tortured and killed in a movie. But if they torture and kill a puppy in a movie? Now that really pisses me off.

how does this happen in our society?

I just read about a baby calf that was rescued this week by an organization called Farm Sanctuary. It makes me think a lot of the problems in our society boil down to $$

The male calf&#151;no more than a week old&#151;was found in the middle of a field to die, in plain view from the road. Barely breathing and non-responsive, the sick calf was immediately seized and taken to a Santa Cruz veterinarian, where he was treated for a severe navel infection. According to Santa Cruz Animal Services, if the calf hadn&#146;t been seized so quickly, he would have died within five or six hours. The calf&#146;s mother was seized the following day after veterinarians determined that the newborn&#146;s recovery depended on her. When asked why he didn&#146;t seek help for the calf, the animal&#146;s owner said, &#147;The calf is only worth $5, so why would I pay to treat it?&#148; On Monday, the mother and calf arrived at Farm Sanctuary&#146;s California Shelter for special care and safe refuge.

HiDee Nathan!

Society's come a long way from where folks HAVE to cut the heads off their Chickens & Pluck 'Em before cooking.

So..we leave the Dirty Work to the "Tasty Yellow Chicken" Folks.

I think if City Folks SAW what actually DOES take place to those amimals that end up all Nicely Saran-Wrapped behind the Meat Counter they'd probably become Vegetarians.

But, somewhere along the Route, Farmers ceased growing Just Enough to Get By On...& Meat-Raising for Profit got started..& An Industry was Born. &..when Animals get Ear Tag Numbers,,insteada Names...& Everything becomes "Profit-&-Loss"...then you get the kinda Mentality that leads to "Homestead Meat Packers."

(It also occurs when "Government Inspected" doesn't mean a thing.) (The Videos that broke this Abuse to the Public Eye were thanks to the ASPCA...) HOPEFULLY the Re-po'ed Beef'll at least end up as Dog Food..so those poor cows Won't have died for nothin'. (I don't think Dogs & Cats CAN get Spongiform Brain Disease...can they?)

Where's Upton Sinclair when we need him Most?

Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

I live in the country... and have animals... I could not send to market my friends... nor take their lives to sate my hunger for meat... wrote a song about it called I can't sell my friends...

I could hunt but could never grow to eat. By the same I eat meat and can not be judgemental about those who can grow and kill their own nor be too upset about abbotoirs....

But if the only way I could get meat was to breed my own.. I'd be a fish farmer and grow lots of vegetables...

Cheers

We'd be healthier if we ate less meat and more vegetables but we in the western world seem to eat more meat than vegetables, maybe we think it makes us more macho. lol

we'd be much healthier if we did a lot of things different.

Crazy world we are living in.
I saw a program about the RSPCA (UK charity animal welfare organisation) They have inspectors who go around saving animals from cruelty and perilous situations.
They got the air sea rescue helicopter costing god knows how much to winch up a cow stuck in deep mud.
They spent a fortune rescuing a duck with a broken wing and nursing it back to fitness. It had major surjery to repair the wing.
The folowing program was a cookery lesson "How to cook duck in orange sauce."
Later on in the news it stated that hoax/frivolous emergency 999 calls were costing lives, taxing the system and costing our country a fortune. CRAZY WORLD
Now I am an animal lover and will not see an animal mistreated or in distress. However that takes hypocracy and waste to a whole new level.

indeed it is a crazy crazy world out there.

nice new picture, jim

OK SO, I am ready finally to share with you folks why I started the cow thread.

Please read the info @ http://cows.ilovenathank.com

I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this journey that I will be embarking on this summer.

Well Nathan I hope they like your moosic and prefer it to udder music. LOL

thanks would you like to adopt one?

Sorry freight cost are too high and I would never get it up the stairs. My wife might complain about the mess. Once up the stairs I would never be able to get it down according to a previous post giving amazing facts about cows.