JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 Song writing Challenge

Ok peeps it's been a while but Hines/Williams Writing challenges have returned

Your mission should you choose to accept it. Is to write a song based on a color. It can be any color: Mauve Purple, Current red, tangerine orange, offwhite. Just has to have whatever color as the sole hook and title. Sound easy? It's not lol. Look forward to your entries here is mine.
(Think Smooth Jazz with a low bass voice)


(Think Smooth Jazz with a low bass voice)


Lemon Chiffon Yellow

Thank I’ll paint my bedroom
It’ been too white for too long
Need a color that excites me
That will turn the ladies on
Something easy on the eyes
That’s like the sun’s bright glow
Think I’ll paint my bedroom
Lemon Chiffon yellow

Lemon chiffon yellow
A color soft and mellow
While I sit and play my cello
Eating lemon chiffon Jell-O

Think now I’ll paint my car
It’s been to grey for too long
Need a color that looks smooth
That’ll glow long after we’ve gone
Something hot and full of flair
That’ll contrast with tinted windows
Think I’ll paint my car in
Lemon chiffon yellow

Lemon chiffon yellow
A color soft and mellow
Listen to that engine Bellow
I’m a lemon chiffon fellow

Thinking I’ll dye my hair
It’s been too brown for too long
Need a color that turns heads
A color that’s bright and strong
Something sure to leave a stain
On my bright white pillow
Think I’ll dye my hair to
Lemon chiffon yellow

Lemon chiffon yellow
A color soft and mellow
Make the ladies say, Hello?
Do I like lemon Chiffon? Hell no!

Tag
But it sure made for some funny images

Copyright February 14, 2008 Derek Hines All Rights Reserved

HiDee Bro!

Waal...with Events On TV Inspiring this, let me have some Evil Fun with this Challenge...

"RED"
(C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI

You Bullies that Attend My School
Have Bullied Me..Your Last
My Days of "Hiding..Sad..Aloof"
THOSE Days are In-The-Past..

TODAY I'm Going to Be Your God
("Thumbs-Up..or Maybe..Down?)
You'll get My ANSWER with each Shot,
I'm Going to Paint this Town...

(CHORUS)
Red.
Color..of Hate--& Love
Red.
Color of..Your Blood
Red.
I Can't Get-Enough
Red.

Noone LISTENED to My Voice
Even Though..I've Tried
Noone Left..ANOTHER Choice
For Me to Feel..Alive

Today I'm Going to Surprise You
Here Comes.."ANOTHER Me"
Today, We're Going to Face The Truth
When ALL That You Can See..is

(CHORUS)
Red.
Color..of Hate & Love
Red.
I REMEMBER Shoves
Red.
NOW..You're NOT So-Tough,
Red.

(BRIDGE)
Oh, I've considered Suicide
But I've Got..A Little Pride
Now It's YOUR TURN to Run-&-Hide
TODAY..NOONE..IS..ON..Your Side........

So Now I've Done My Evil Deed
And Everyone's Alarmed..
Your Mem'ry's Drippin' Down My Sleeve
I'm YET to be Disarmed

The Voices Yell to "Give it Up"
I Know I Really SHOULD
But ARE You Really Dead-Enough?
A Few MORE Shots sound Good..& then it's

(CHORUS)]
Red.
Color of Love & Hate
Red.
Guess It's All-too-Late
Red.
When You Sealed Our Fate
Red.

Red.
Now It's "Fade-to-Black"
Red.
You CAN'T "Take-it-Back"
Red.
It's Your LAST Attack,
Red.

(C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

DEAD LETTER RED
© words by C. Stewart ( Feb 14, 2008 )

The letter I read was red
The words were all so bold
The ink she used was pink
But still they left me cold

DEAD LETTER RED
TOO SAD FOR READING
DEAD LETTER RED
PAINFULLY BLEEDING

My tears were boo-hoo blue times two
She couldn't hang around
I know she won't be back
She's six foot in the ground

DEAD LETTER RED
TOO SAD FOR READING
DEAD LETTER RED
PAINFULLY BLEEDING

Bridge....
I wish she would have taken a deep breath
Instead of making plans for her own death

DEAD LETTER RED
TOO SAD FOR READING
DEAD LETTER RED
PAINFULLY BLEEDING

The letter I read was red
The words were all so bold
The ink she used was pink
But still they left me cold

Hey Stanamigo!

Wow what a bold song! Lots of emotion connected to this one. Mostly rage and anger (mixed with some sadness). I wasn't expecting this one for your entry, but man it's a good one.
Derek

Hey Calvin

Man you an Stan seem to be on the same wavelength here! Very good capturing of the depths of despair in suicide. The angst anger pain and frustration really show in the singee. The singer is trying to make sense of the situation that is so senseless. Again I wasn't expecting something like this for your entry, but I like it a lot! Great job. Oh and nice twist on dead letter red too!
Derek

HiDee Bro D!

Being Perpetually "The Youngest in my Class" from 1st Grade-On, I constantly endured the Neighborhood Bullies. Moving to a diffo School System in 7th Grade meant I had to slug my way up the Pecking Order all over again...& there was One Bully in-Particular that made my life a Daily Hell.

So..after One Particularly-Bad Day, I took my Dad's .38 to school with me. I'd planned to stick it Right in The Bastard's Face & take..him..OUT.

But..he left me alone that day...I re-thought the whole scenario..& realized He Wasn't Worth the agony.

To this DAY the Schmuck has NO IDEA how close he came to no longer being breathing.

And...to this day, I've sympathized with The Underdogs. It's GOOD that Schools NOWADAYS are Making Some EFFORTS to identify & control the little THUGS that make Education such a difficult experience for the Less-Aggressive Students, the Younger Kids, & The Handicapped. (They Weren't back when I was a kid.)

Of course, Anger Management Classes would ALSO be a Good Thing...

Best Wishes, & Thanks for the "Assignment"...
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hey, you guys will have to give me a few days with this one. It is 2am in the morning, and I am off to bed. I will be dreaming about colors. I will post a color song over the next couple of days. Ok

Bye for now

Michele

Your Aussie friend from Australia

Hey Stanamigo

Wow you too huh? It seems a lot of people have had thoughts like this (only some actually carry it out). When I was in junior high I was getting picked (beatup) on everyday. My dad had a little saturday night special and I was ready to pack it to school and get some payback. Then I thought about how bad that would be for me and how it would ruin my life. Also the guilt I would feel. Well it didn't take much for me to realize that was a bad idea, but when your young and angry sometimes you don't think clearly. Glad you didn't slide down that slippery slope amigo! No telling how bad our lives would have turned out if we had give in to the temptation. Thank you for sharing this story.
Big Guy Hugs
Derek

Hi Michele

Eagerly awaiting your colorful entry .
Derek

Yes Michele, DON"T FEEL PRESSURED, but we're all awaiting :-)


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Pinstripes

she wore pinstriped panties
my yankee doodle dandy
how did she know the color
of my favorite candy

it's a big tab I'm running
beer keep keep'm coming
after a day of office chitter-chatter
pinstripes are all that matter

no please don't take them off
without the pinstripes I get lost
please keep the fantasy alive
uhoh yikes
little did I know
her triangle was pinstriped

soon it'll be closing time
and off the stage she will climb
but I have no gripes
cause she tossed me her pinstripes

there may come a time
when I wash them
but don't hold your breath
while I wallow in pinstripe debt

no please don't take them off
without the pinstripes I get lost
keep the fantasy alive
uhoh yikes
little did I know
her triangle was pinstriped

© 2008 by rittman

All right you guys, it is 11am over here at night, and I love a challenge. I will be back.

Michele

All right I'm back. It is now 1.11 am in the morning. So here it is, and I am no good at spelling. Please correct my spelling mistakes you guys.


RED

Verse

When I was little girl, my hair a strawberry Red
Lots of freckles, to match my red hair
My dear old Dad, labeled me ginger Mick
Always in trouble, and up to mischief.

Chorus

Fiery red, fiery red
Watch out for me,
Cos, I'm fiery red.

Verse

Tormented a lot, when I was so little
My freckles, seemed to get all the attention
They hurt me a lot, all of my feelings
I would go home to my dad, and cry
I hated my freckles

Chorus

Fiery red, fiery red
Watch out for me
Cos, I'm fiery red

Verse

Red is my color, my color is red
Ready to fight back, ready to......... pounce on your head
Red is my color, my color is red
I'm all grown up now, and I'm ...................

Chorus

Fiery red, fiery red
Watch out for me
Cos, I'm fiery red.................................



Short and sweet.

Michele

Copyright 2008

I forgot to put on my song. Copyright 2008.

What fun you all are. I love it. I am having a ball, reading all your color songs. Richard you have excelled yourself, fantastic lyrics.

How did I go guys, just remember I wrote my song in 2 hours, talk about being pressured...............................

Thanks for the fun

Michele

Hi Stan,

I just read your post at the top, I know how it feels to be bullied. The thing for me was, I would hurt myself. I used to scratch into my arms with a pin,and ink on it, I would write, I hate myself.

I am thankful that there is more education regarding bullying in our schools. But we need a lot more.

Your Aussie friend

Michele

awww Michele freckles are cute..!

liked your lyric, glad you liked mine..if ya like stuff that's mildly risque, you might like this:
http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=62406

HiDee Rittster & Michelle!

Enjoyed BOTH your Lyrics...(Much as I enjoyed Seein' Red "Triangles" in the Past...& Yankees' Uniforms All-Pinstriped, too!)
(What IS that NY Fixation on "Pinstripes" anyways?) ;-)>

Didn't know you were a Redhead, Mz M..now I REALLY gotta Flirt Witcha...heh-heh!

Keep up the Great Lyics, All!

Big Hugs,
Ol' Like Seein' Red Stan

Hey Derek!

Just saw this, mea culpa!! Have something in mind, but it'll have to wait til tonight when kiddos are off to bed.

Have a good day in the meantime everyone!

Cheers,
Beth

Hi Stan,

Pleased you liked it. Yeh my hair is a lot darker now, and I am starting to get those gray hairs coming through. When I was little, I had reddish blond hair, and if you look at my hair in the sun, I still has those natural reds there. Ask my hubby, he always said he was going to marry a redhead, and he did.

I am so thankful, that my children don't have as many freckles as I do. They look cute, as they have just a few on there little faces.

Pin stripes, I love them. My husbands ute is white, with two blue pin stripes across the bottom.

I am off to bed.

Goodnight you guys.

Michele lol, hugs.

Hey Michele

Wow very nice song! Some of us here spend about 10 mins writing for challenges (after writing more tha one hundred it gets easier), but the extra time you spent on this one really shows. Nice effort I really enjoyed it. What was really neat is it gave us a personal glimpse of yourself. Thanks for sharing this one!
Derek

Hey Betharoo!

Cool can't wait to see what kinda sillyness ( or seriousness?) you come up with for this challenge!
Derek

Hey Michele

I understand, I think a lot of us have been bullied while growing up (creative types usually are). I am so glad you survived it to become such a talented writer and singer. Looking forward to more good songs from you.
lol, Derek

FINALLY!

Hubby offered to whip up dinner, so I'm sneaking on here while the going's good. After all, I can't leave my Song Challenge partner-in-crime in the lurch, can I? (Though it does appear he has the situation completely under control without me......)

Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy my entry. I won't preface it in any way this time...just let the piece speak for itself (hee hee hee!)....

'Til later,
Beth


Green Sleeves
© Lyrics Beth Williams 2008

I know I should try to recycle
Or help with whale-hunting reprieves
But I’m facing my own greenish crisis
An abundance of boogie-wiped sleeves

Kids’ noses are leaky green faucets
Yet they have an aversion to tissue
If I felt they restrained wiping elsewhere
I’d declare it a fair “waste-not” issue

Chorus:
But Green Sleeves…you keep coming back
As crusty and thick as flu season is long
GREEN SLEEVES….under boogie attack
Wish you were as sweet as your namesake song

Before this gets much more insidious
As a citizen, I pray and believe
A task-force will soon be appointed
To stamp out these putrid green sleeves

Chorus: repeat

Bridge:
Painted cuffs, drippy post-nasal art
Let ‘em dry, then blow ‘em apart

Chorus:
So Green Sleeves…your reign’s near its end
When warm weather shirts come back on the scene
GREEN SLEEVES….I will not pretend
To prefer you over sleeves when they’re CLEAN

Hey Betharoo

What a delightful little ditty this was. Very seasonal song too . I especially like the line about a task force being appointed rofl; now wouldn't that be a site! Thanks for joining in my creative writing partner in crime! There has been some really interesting (should I say colorful?) song so far. Can't wait to see what comes next. Anyone want to write a song about purple? lol. Thanks again Betharoo for posting this gem for us to enjoy.
Derek

Hey Cal,

Just doing a quick read on these...but I had to tell you again you inspired me (without even knowing it)....you'll have to wait for the details....it's a half-written song, will try to get to it....

As for this song, sad. And I liked that I didn't get it right away. Given that, I wonder if you might mix the last lines of verse one (and leave it as is in the last verse)...maybe:

The letter I read was red
The words were all so bold
The ink she used was pink
BUT STILL THEY LEFT ME COLD

Maybe this gives too much away, I dunno. Aside from the obvious meaning, I also liked the idea of suggesting RED --usually associated with warmth--could make you feel cold.

Otherwise, liked it a lot -- it's a good change of pace. That's one of the reasons I so enjoy these challenges....they take you places you might otherwise never visit.

So ciao for now,
Beth

Fantastic Beth, you have got me in stitches, what an enjoyable post. Its amazing how a color can relate to your feelings about anything. Loved it Beth, great work.

Michele
Aussie girl from down under

Well, I never seem to respond to these challenges...it's high time I did. To make up for it I did two colors and even threw in some sports analogies to add to that previous challenge. This one needs plenty of work, but here's the first draft.

Black and Blue Blues

Black and blue blues
You’ve got me spinning around
Too sick to sing you this tune
Too blue to cry
Too black to see my way home
Fly me to the black and blue moon

Black and blue blues
Please carry me home

Black and blue blues
You got me beat up and down
Too hurt to feel it anymore
When you are through
Please leave your business card
Just to scrape me off of the floor

Black and blue blues
Please carry me home

When I was a young man
You could never take me down
But the punches keep coming and coming
Round after round

Black and blue blues
I get so tired of you
I just can’t take another bruise
Time to move on
What say we call it a night?
Ring the bell, you win and I lose

Black and blue blues
Please carry me home
Black and blue blues
Just leave me alone

(Copyright 2008 by Mark Kaufman)

I'm not up to the challenge today but "Paint it Black" was a hit so I guess the idea is sound. "Im Mr. Blue" was one of the first songs I learned to sing. "Blue Byou" a great song. "A whiter shade of pale"- a favorite. Oh, hell, Over the rainbow- put all the colors in!

Blue - Joni Mitchell...big fav of mine.

Blue eyes Elton John

Baby's In Black The Beatles
Yellow Submarine the Beatles
Black hole sun Soundgarden

I'm sure there are many more.
Derek

Hey THAT-GUY!

Have been having trouble getting on board for quite a while tonight...so I ended up finishing that song I was telling Calvin about. I'll go post it now...but first wanted to thank you for your very kind words...and for getting this song challenge going again. ANOTHER of my favorite parts is when you get posts starting out like Mark's...basically, "I've never done these before, but....". So that I think is great. Throw down that musical gauntlet, and they shall come!!

Be back in a few, as I wanted to comment on some of the other songs too!

xoxo,
Boo

Well done Mark, what a post, make sure you post it, if you do any changes to it. I think my song Red, I will fool around with the lyrics for a while, who knows, what will come of my color song.

Thanks Derek, for the post.

Yeh, their is a lot of color songs out there.

Your Aussie friend
Michele

Hello everybody,

I just wanted to say I'm enjoying all your colorful posts and the comments.
I find it very interesting what's just below the surface waiting to come out once it's triggered.
Beth, thanks for the suggestion about my one line, I made that change & I believe it's better.

Mellow Yellow
Purple People Eater
Blue Monday
Green Green Grass Of Home
Greensleeves
White Christmas
I B T W - Yellow - P D Bikini


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Wow Rittman

What composition such images rofl . You really captured our attention and imigination with this fun little song. Thanks for your entry into this realm of silly ( and sometimes serious) song writing challenges. Me and Mrs Williams apppreciate it
Derek

Hey Mark

I commented on this on the main board. What I forgot to mention was that I think even though ring the bell I win you lose is good. I thought of an old cliche that might work well too. Heads I win tails you lose! Just a suggestion it's pretty darn good as is.
Derek

Hey Michele

You are more than welcome. Thanks for participating!
Derek

Hey Calvin

Yea those are some more colorful songs I forgot to mention thanks!
Derek

Hi Michele,

Sounds like you've had a tough time of it, but it's great you can channel a lot of your feelings into song.

I especially liked the line about your dad calling you Ginger Mick. Very evocative.

Keep at it...we'll all reap the benefits of your catharsis!

Cheers,
Beth

Hi Beth,

Yeh, the only time my dad called me Michele, was when I was getting into trouble, and yes I have had a hard time of it, what a learning experience.

Songwriting is setting off a lot of emotional triggers, over time, I am hoping, the triggers wont effect me as bad.

Thanks for correcting my spelling mistakes. The only word I don't know how to spell, is mischiffe. That red line keeps coming up underneath. Grrrrrr.

Hey, I figured out how to add them little smilies, they are so cute.

Thanks heaps Beth

Michele

Alright, I blame Beth for my involvement in this....after that Cookie Challenge, and since I saw this post on Friday and have spent the entire weekend sitting in the bleachers at my sons' wrestling tournaments, I had quite a bit of time for some "mindful" thinking (or should I say mindless?)...my body is stiff, but my mind is flowin'!

So, with the help of Wikipedia, I tried to be as accurate as possible...it was actually fun!

I've enjoyed all the colorful songs so far...So Creative Everybody! I've gotten a kick out of them all

White
©2008 Kristi McKeever

I know I’ve bent the truth
And shoved your face in the snow
I’ve created much noise
When it’s twenty below
But even the angels
Are clothed in my wonderful robes

I know I deceive
And separate the spectrum
I may be transparent
And a little hum-drum
But even the Beatles
Used me to sell an album

(ch)
Let’s wave a white flag
I’ll light the stars in the sky
To shine through my clean tone
I think you may be surprised
There’s a lot more to me
Than meets the eye
So let’s wave a white flag
Let’s be friends, you and I

Although I have no hue
I have a colorful heart
I can heal like magic
I’m where purity starts
And even the president
Thinks I’m a work of art

(ch)
Let’s wave a white flag
I’ll light the stars in the sky
To shine through my clean tone
I think you may be surprised
There’s a lot more to me
Than meets the eye
So let’s wave a white flag
Let’s be friends, you and I

Let’s wave a white flag
Let’s be friends, you and I

Hey again Michele,

FYI, if you get that squiggly red line under a word or words, right click on the word(s) in question....and some suggested alternatives will pop up. If you like one of the choices, click on it and it will replace the error.

Also, if you're writing a separate word document for a song before posting it, you can also use the spell-check function.

I'm looking forward to hearing more...but I would encourage working on the spelling. At best, it's distracting.

Ciao for now,
Beth

Hi Kristi,

Real nice.
Love the Beatles line.

Excellent....
Although I have no hue
I have a colorful heart

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Thanks Beth,

I am only learning about computers, WELL HOW EASY IS THAT, I love it. Cool. I promise I will keep working on my spelling Beth, but WOW, it's all done for me. I am amazed, all these useful tools on my computer.

Jim also has been sending me private messages, doing his best to help. What lovely caring JPF's I am getting to know.

Michele
Your Aussie friend

HI Kristi,

I'm sneaking in ahead of Derek on this one...especially since a certain finger was pointed at me!

So gosh darn it, I have such mixed feelings when I read your work. It's SOO lyrical, so full of beautiful images..but I AM JEALOUS BECAUSE I CAN'T WRITE THAT WAY! Which is stupid and immature and all that, but it is what it is.

Having said that, it's a powerful piece, Kristi. Send it to the White House...maybe they can use it during one of the inaugural balls....

Also, Wikipedia or not, the details are stunning.

I must make one aside though...when writing my Dr. Seuss piece, I was having a hard time on the bridge....and at one point, I was considering "the day I delegated these matters as HUM-DRUM" -- what are the chances of us BOTH using that phrase? Again, I'll hang my hat on the "two great minds thinking alike" concept...

Ultimately, I'm just glad I was able to bamboozle you into getting involved with these challenges. I get the sense you have just scratched the surface of your talent.

Later, girlie!
Beth

Fantastic Kristi,

You done us proud, I love the chorus, well done.

You have a lovely personality, it stands out in your lyrics.


Michele
Aussie girl from down under

Hi Kristi

Very nice entry here. Wow all the lines pointing to the color white that was impressive. This is probably one of the best lyrics I have seen from you . I am very impressed this one could really go somewhere. Thanks for sharing it with us!
Derek

Hurray! Someone waved the White flag! Great song, Kristi!
Love the white lie references...all the cool, veiled hints at white...

There’s a lot more to me
Than meets the eye

Yep...in light, all the colors together make white. It's purity, unity. Poultry.

Okay, not poultry. But great song!

-Mark

Thanks guys! Wasn't expecting any comments/critiques...! :o

Beth - I will tell you, re: HUM-DRUM. I was looking up a rhyme for spectrum in my rhyming dictionary and saw fee-fi-fo-fum and what I thought was hum-drum beneath it. Lo and behold now I see it merely says hum. But it got my brain going.... Anyway, you are too kind...and HUMBLE yourself my dear! Guess I better go check out your Dr. Seuss lyric! More fun in store, I'm sure.

Michele - Nice to meet you! What a truly *lovely* thing to say! You've made my day! (enjoyed reading about your freckles!)

Derek - Your lyric is some bouncy fun itself! Thanks for that response and for posing the *Challenge*...wasn't sure how it would go...

Calvin & Mark - Thanks for your thoughts! This was fun! (okay, whose gonna do the song on poultry now? lol I can't even imagine...)

Hey Derek,

Kristi's post reminded me...I never commented on YOUR song !

How funny and goofy are you? And what a clever device to play up your hook!

All I can say is, the next time I need to do some painting around here, I know not to call you! LOL

Seriously, fun fun fun.

xoxo,
Bethyboogaloo

P.S. Of course, it brings back fond memories of Donovan's "Mellow Yellow"....I always loved how he milked the line "E-lec-TRI-cal Ba-NA-naaaaa!"

He he he Betharoo

Don't worry I won't paint your house while your sleeping . If I did it wouldn't be lemon chiffon yellow rofl. Thanks for the kudos it was really all in fun
Derek